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need help with my out of control 7 year old daughter!!

2 replies

kirdy · 29/12/2013 12:53

My daughter is 7 and im running out of ideas to stop her tantrums! Everyday is spent with her screaming and shouting at me her dad and brother and sister. Whenever we ask her to do a simple task like brush her teeth all hell break loose screaming stomping crying shouting. She is more out of control with her dad than me but I still get the outbursts. Nearly everyday she says she wants to leave this house and this family and that no one likes her. We include her in everything don't treat her any different to the other two and I make time do just do things with me and her but as soon as we have finished it all starts again. I have tried reward charts she just get bored of them. The naughty step which she is not bothered about at all and I have taken things away from her like favourite toys she basically helps me get rid of them and tells me I can take it all she don't care. She seems upset all the time and she just says we hate her which is totally not TRUE at all. And I do explain that we all love her but her attitude the way she talks to us and the outburst are not acceptable. I just don't know what to do I feel like I have tried everything. I'm so upset that she acts so nasty all the time and I don't know why. :-(:-(

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Ferguson · 29/12/2013 18:13

How long has she been like this? How old are the other children, and are you all the same family, or are there step-children, change of partner, new house, or whatever?

It doesn't take much to unsettle children, or make them feel vulnerable, and that they aren't in a position to control what happens in their life. So, as they see it, the only 'weapon' they have is having a tantrum.

I always say to parents, usually with younger children, to try and have a calm, quiet environment. When our DS was young we never had the TV or radio on, except when we specially wanted to watch or hear the programme. I may be the only person in the world who thinks this, but I have always believed that the continuous background noise that seems to take place in many homes, contributes to children's inability to listen, concentrate and learn in school.

I worked in primary schools for over twenty years, and invariably children don't really WANT to be naughty and get told off all the time, but something in their lives has sent them down that route.

What is she like at school, both behaviour and work-wise? Has she been worse over Christmas, as that can be a stressful time even for well-settled families?

If you can answer some of these queries, I'll see if I can shed any more light on the problem.

kirdy · 29/12/2013 19:09

She has been acting this way for quite a few months now she has always had tantrums but just lately they are getting out of hand. My other children are 5 and 1. There are no step children and all have the same dad. We have not moved house or have anything unsettling happen. She is great at school above where she should be with her work and top of her class so no problems there. She is always so well behaved at school. Its alot more her attitude that's worse the way she speaks to me or anyone really is sharp and angry and always raises her voice if she does not get her own way its a tantrum and strop that will last for ages. She does it alot more with her dad than me he has no patients and will shout at her which I tell him not to do because it just makes her worse. I have just ran out of ideas to make her behave and understand what she does is wrong x

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