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Parenting

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Original poster

Ideal age gap between siblings

21 replies

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 28/12/2013 20:48

Just wondering what people reckon the best age gaps are between kids? I know every family is different and maybe there is no perfect but am interested in what people think and reasons- based on both your own experiences as kids and with you children. I've got a 14 month old dd and do want more children but I have no idea when! Don't think I'm ready yet and there are obvious outside factors to consider but I'm totally undecided!

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inamerrymuckingfuddle · 28/12/2013 20:51

I have 18 mins between mine, didn't seem ideal at the time, but 10 years on it's working a bit better!

onedev · 28/12/2013 20:54

I wanted 2 years between each & got it. They're still little (6, 4 & 2) but so far it's great. They all play lovely (when they're not fighting!!) & are b close. Usually you find 2 out of 3 of them playing together & it can be any 2. It really is fab & I hope they grow up to be close

I do have a friend who's mega close to her sister & there's a 10 yr age gap between them, so I really do think it's the upbringing rather than the age.

Mamabear12 · 28/12/2013 20:54

i hear from a lot of people that close together is best 2 or 3 years. that way the kids can play together and be friends when older. my sis and me are 4.5 years apart, so were not really friends until we hit our 20's. my mom always said she wished she had us closer together and had a 3rd child...but after waiting so long...it wasnt easy.

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Noggie · 28/12/2013 20:54

My DDs are 3 years apart which so far (now 4 and 7) has been really good for both of them. We really really struggled with sleep when dd1 was little, had a mc .... In some ways it would be nice as they get closer to being teenagers if they were closer in age but life sometimes decides for you! I don't think there is a perfect age gap- just pluses and minuses.

BumgrapesofWrath · 28/12/2013 20:57

2 years 3 months here! Think it's a good age gap on the whole as you have got a toddler and a baby (not two babies, which you'd have with a smaller age gap), but a small enough gap that they can play together etc. Plus, we haven't had many jealousy issues here (may or may not be related)

TheGreatHunt · 28/12/2013 21:40

2.2 gap. I wanted closer but had a mc. I wouldn't try and plan too much, just see what happens...

blueshoes · 28/12/2013 21:43

The 3 year age gap between dd and ds is perfect. Dd was old enough to appreciate having a younger sibling without jealousy issues but the age gap is close enough for them to play together, which they do obsessively everyday.

It helps that as the older child, dd is a girl and our ds is advanced for his age so that bridges the age gap in terms of interests.

lookdeepintotheparka · 28/12/2013 21:50

Also have 3 yrs between my DC - almost exactly as their birthdays are a few days apart I think it's a great age gap as my DS was talking and mostly over his (terrible) tantrums by then. This was a big relief as my second was unexpectedly born with a medical condition which needed a lot of my attention especially in the first few years.

They play together really well most of the time now they are older.

ditsydoll · 28/12/2013 23:36

4 years between mine and it's been great. Dd was just starting nursery when I fell pregnant with ds giving me some down time to rest while I felt so sick, she started school when he was about 2 months old so it gave us pretty much all the summer holidays to bond as a family when he was newborn (and couldnt possibly have gotton out the door for 8:30!)
Dd is at school full time now so I have all day to enjoy ds and have loads of energy and time to spend with Dd after school.
I feel like they both get a lot of quality one on one time and Dd is old enough to help with looking after her little brother which she loves.

VoodooChimp · 28/12/2013 23:43

Cue everyone coming on to say the age gap they have between their children is the best.

Which just shows there isn't a best gap: it all depends on you & your partner, your finances, your existing child(ren) and about 100 other circumstances.

Also bear in mind you may not have 100% control over how long it takes you to get pregnant again.

HeartShapedBox · 28/12/2013 23:56

there's just under 23 months between ds1 and dd, and 15 months between dd and ds2 ( so 38 months between the boys) and I must say, I think it's more the individual child's temperament than anything else. in our case, dd delighted with her new baby brother- ds1 still raging over dd's existence, nevermind bringing ds2 into it

tiamariaxxx · 29/12/2013 00:29

i think it all depends on the children tbh and your routines/lifestyle etc. Theres just over 2 year between my eldest boys and it is a nice age gap now they play together really well and are very close but i did struggle as ds1 was always a bad sleeper (still is), has always been lots more demanding than ds2 and he was also going theough the terrible 2 tantrums at the time which as a nightmare when out and about.
I had dd1 when ds was about 18 months and dd2 was nearly 4 and i dreaded it but was actually a lot easier 3rd time round, the eldest was a lot calmer and and ds1 was always a pretty easy child so i think the gaps worked out really well this time.

I then ended up having another dd and there is a year and 1 week between the youngests was easy because i already had the baby routine going still had nappies and bottles and late night feeds going on.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 29/12/2013 00:36

There's 2.2 between me and my sister and we've always been very close. I have a 12mo and fancy a 2.5 gap but it depends how long it takes to conceive as it was 7months last time.

Fantail · 30/12/2013 04:31

Despite being 20 months difference between my sister and I we never got on. My brother and I are 8 years apart and we have always been friends.

DD will be almost 5 years older than her sibling all going well. That is just what has happened according to our life circumstances.

Funkybutnot · 30/12/2013 18:32

11 months here and it's been brilliant. They get on very well, Would never change it.

secretsofsanta · 30/12/2013 18:35

I have just under 3, 4, 3. Works fine.

SandStorm · 30/12/2013 18:40

I wanted three years and got five. It's all a bit swings and roundabouts to be honest. At the moment they're getting on fine but sometimes the age gap seems bigger than others. I think as they get older it's getting easier.

curiousgeorgie · 30/12/2013 18:56

I wanted 2 years but got 3 due to mc.

I'm really close to my brother who's 2 years older than me, can't stand my brother who's 4 years younger than me, and am very close and good friends with my brother who is 13 years younger than me!

I would have loved a smaller gap! My DD1 seems to grown up to ever really gel with DD2...

MiaowTheCat · 31/12/2013 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ditsydoll · 31/12/2013 12:28

Theres 2 years between my brother and I and we really do not get along, never have (although we put a smile on for our mum's sake) but my sister is 7 years younger than me and is my absolute best friend and I don't know where I'd be without her.

Lucyadams184 · 31/12/2013 14:04

I think it depends on the children rather than the age gap. I have 14 months between mine and it was hard when they were babies but it's great now.

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