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Parenting

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Original poster

Does anyone else find this odd???

21 replies

soapbox · 22/07/2006 18:47

My DD goes to ballet at 9.30 on a Saturday morning and I stay for the time she is in the class, catching up with a few of my friends.

Every week the mother of one of the girls in my DD's class drops off her DD and her DS at 9.30. Her DS does a drama class which starts at 10.15, so between 9.30 and 10.15 he is left on his own in the waiting room - he's 4yo.

She has never asked any of the adults in the room to keep an eye on him. Just comes in and goes straight out.

He's a challenging child and today he kicked one of the children waiting for their drama class. I said very firmly - XX stop that! It is not nice to kick! Stop it now!

He slunk off out to the corridor and didn;t come back into waiting room.

I do feel that perhaps I shouldn;t have used my scary voice on a child that doesn;t belong to me. Equally, I'm pretty fed up with him causing mayhem every week, for 45 mins before his class starts.

Would you leave your 4yo like that?

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moreteaanyone · 22/07/2006 18:49

No chance but if he behaves that way possible the mum is too embarrassed to stay. Pretty irresponsible though I think

expatinscotland · 22/07/2006 18:51

that's abandonment. sorry, but it is.

sobernow · 22/07/2006 18:51

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puff · 22/07/2006 18:53

eek!

not good - what if he wandered off???

Blu · 22/07/2006 18:55

How odd, and a bit cruel. poor thing! And poor everyone else.

Does she have to take another child somewhere do you tihink? Does she think the class starts at 9.30?

Because I am an outspoken, interfering and tactless old bag I would probably say something like 'I think ** gets a bit upset waiting on his own because he is a bit disruptive sometimes - would you like me to look after him - except that i don't wait every week, so am not reliable'

trinityrhino · 22/07/2006 18:56

very odd, poor kid

puff · 22/07/2006 18:57

soap - maybe you could have a quiet word with the people who run the class and they can have a word with the Mum re unsupervised 4 yr old - you are right to be concerned

clumsymum · 22/07/2006 18:57

Blimey, at 4 y.o. that 45 minute wait must seem like a lifetime, poor little sod. Can't you and your friends chat to him a bit to help him pass the time/stay out of trouble?

If you were REALLY brave, you could perhaps say to his mum "xx seems to find it very difficult waiting on his own. Did you know he sometimes gets upset with the other children"

Mind you, I think it's maybe something the people who run the classes should broach her about. I doubt they are insured should anything happen to a child that young who is not being supervised. Do they realise he is just being left? Maybe a quiet word with them is better?

giddy1 · 22/07/2006 19:00

Message deleted

Original poster

soapbox · 22/07/2006 19:02

She only has 2 children-no obvious sign of having to be anywhere else.

If she asked us to look after him, I think we would probably say yes, but then we'd have a little bit of authority to curb the worst of his behaviour!

She never leaves anything with him to do - not a book, colouring, games - nothing!

She's done it for quite some time now - I'm not sure how to broach it after all this time!

OP posts:

puff · 22/07/2006 19:04

that's why having a word with the people who run your dd's class would be a good idea

Earlybird · 22/07/2006 19:06

Agree with others that this is absolutely not on, but that the class organisers need to speak to her about it - not you - as you don't want to be the target of her anger/embarrassment, etc.

I think there's more of this sort of thing than we realise. Several mums near me made a habit of dumping their kids in the children's room at the library for the afternoon. Hard to believe.....

Original poster

soapbox · 22/07/2006 19:07

Puff - one of the other mums is a complete gem with him - trys to read stories to him and gives him colouring in stuff etc., but he seems to have such a short attention span! She has a DD who is the same age as him, who goes to the same drama class as he does. Her DD and some of the other littlies, tend to get drawn into his disruptive behaviour so everyone does try to keep him out of trouble. But it really does put a lot onto the other mums.

The little girl he kicked today is the DD of the mum who does so much with him - I think tbh he is jealous of the attention she is giving to her own DD. Quite understandable really - it must be hard on him.

The suggestion of having a word with the teacher is a good one - she's not one to put up with any trouble.

OP posts:

Socci · 22/07/2006 19:11

Message withdrawn

puff · 22/07/2006 19:11

it's not fair on the rest of you parents, however much you try to ensure he is ok - hope you can get it sorted

Socci · 22/07/2006 19:13

Message withdrawn

KTeePee · 22/07/2006 19:18

Definitely say something to the teacher - they are probably not aware it is going on. At our ballet classes they regularly write to remind parents that they should not drop off their children more than 15 minutes before class starts - I get the impression some parents take liberties and need reminding of this. 4yo is far too young to be left like this

lorna3586 · 22/07/2006 19:19

I think thats awful how can she just leave him. Poor little boy. I think you should deffinatly say something to some one. Not only is it wrong to leave your child like that but a 4year old! Shes lucky nothings happend to him.

dmo · 22/07/2006 21:46

think its bad to leave a 4yr old
its not free childcare
congrat to mum who reads to him etc but really it should be his own mum
deff tell dance teacher they prob dont realise about the boy and how long he waits, maybe if he wonders off the dance school may be held responable for him by the mother

louise35 · 22/07/2006 22:17

I'm with Socci on this one, the organisers need to be put completely in the picture about whats going on because heaven forbid if anything was to happen to this poor little boy, his Mother would come down on them like a ton of bricks as she obviously thinks that once she walks out of that door at 9.30 that the responsibility for her son is no longer hers.

fattiemumma · 22/07/2006 22:26

the people who are organising the classes have a responsibility for the child once it is left in their care.
they need to be informed that he is being left unsupervised because if he fals over and hurts himself or others THEY are responsible..i can tell you know that once they are made awar of it they will tel mother to blody well wait!

personally i would also request that the organisers contact SS because if she feels it ok to leave a 4 year old there...where else does she leave him? i have quite serious concerns for the parenting methods of anyone who feels that is acceotable.

it is bordering very close to Neglect

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