Stranger Danger Advice for a Trusting Child

[YesAnastasia]

My DS (with SEN) likes adults very much. He often approaches parents in the school yard & asks them questions, if they'll play etc.

We have told him before that he should beware of people he doesn't know & try not to be 'friends' with people he has never met before or make him feel uncomfortable. I have even gone as far as telling him that some people are baddies and might hurt him or take him away. I don't think he heard me (or didn't understand) because nothing changed.

Earlier, 2 men cam to the door (wanting charity account sign-ups) and were very salesman chatty. DS pushed past my, thrust out his hands to one of them and said 'hold my hands, they're freezing cold'. They could've been anyone and it worries me.

Any advice??

Would he response to a social story about this? I think it is something you will need to rehearse over and iver with him til he 'gets' it.

Maybe say that he can only talk to adults when he is with you/specified other adult(s)? He is going to be ok in that situation, as he gets older you could make it more sophisticated/age approrpriate for him maybe.

Poor you, OP, this is a tough one. I have three rules for my DCs (but they don't have SEN so it is probably easier to instill these rules) with regards to talking to strangers: these are who to look for if they are lost or ever need help:

1. Ladies pushing buggies with babies in (sorry guys)
2. People wearing uniforms (eg at somewhere like Legoland or in Tesco)
3. People in shops behind the counter taking the money

They have also always had strict instructions NEVER to open the front door (now teen can open with door chain on).

Perhaps after the next incident talk through with him again about your request not to be friendly with strangers and promise him that next time he shows that he understands this there will be some kind of reward. Good luck

Yes, I'll just keep repeating. I don't want to scare him but he doesn't seem to have fear in the normal sense (although he has anxiety & night terrors about which we are yet to find out) and doesn't seem to get shy like ds2.

I'm not sure what you mean by a 'social story'.

This may not be appropriate for your child, but I had a very chatty child (although without special needs), and instead of curtailing who she could talk to (I never really agreed with stranger danger) she had this rule:

"I don't go anywhere, with anyone
Without checking with my mum."

We always made it clear to DD that my job was to keep her safe, and I could only do my job if I knew where she was all the time. So whilst she could talk to people, she could not go with anyone, even people she knew (and she has refused to do this in real life).

Like I say, it may not be appropriate for your child, but it is something that worked for us.

You can Google social stories. It is a written or pictorial representation of a social situation, designed to help skills with interaction. They were designed for children with autism (which you have not mentioned) but may still be helpful for your DS.

Yes, lisad123 is correct, most abuse happens by people close to children, but I still do not want my DCs wandering up to simply anyone if they are lost or need help. I would rather they seek help from specific 'strangers', much as I would if I needed help. The OP is worried about her DS approaching unknown adults because he shows signs of doing that. And that must be of concern.

I do like Lade's very simple advice.