If your baby is a 'sleeper' please could you tell me...

[Bumbolina]

What the fuck you do differently to me
I'm asking those that say "my kid just started sleeping through at 4 days old" etc etc

Dc2 is now 3 weeks 5 days old. This morning he was awake from 8.00-12.30... could not/would not sleep no matter what I did (fed, rocked, sung, put down and left alone, burped, changed - basically everything I cod think of). He finally dropped off and is still asleep now, and is showing no signs of stirring soon so it will probably be a 3-4 hour block of sleep. At night he'll do no more than an hour at a time.

I am ebf. This is my second - my first fed hourly day and night for the first 6 months and still doesn't sleep through at 2.5. Last night they were tag teaming keeping me awake.

So I want to know from those of you whose kids slept - did you have to work at it?? I'm not interested in leaving to cry. I want to know the basics. Did you use dummies? If so - how? Do you shove it in when they look tired and hope they suck themselves to sleep? Did you "pat shush", did you feed to sleep? If you did when/how did you transfer. Did you wake them/amuse them in the daytime so they'd sleep at night?

Basically did you do anything at all - or were your kids just on the ball when it came to sleep?

Please tell me. There must be something I'm doing wrong. My mil definitely thinks so!

All our dif n urs is still so diddy,but two things to try:
establish bath n bed routine wind dwn (even though they rnt sleeping through) do the same every nite,we do play on bed,bath,massage,dwn to sleep,we started this from 4 months as didnt wnt to be in seperate room till then.
Try n get bub to take big feeds,if they start falling asleep,try ticking toes etc to get them to have a bit more,fuller for longer so longer sleeps.
Good luck-before we know it they will be teens sleeping till 12 :( x x x

I had the teens, toddler, newborn baby combo...someone was always in bed but it never felt like it was me!

I'm really looking forward to the teens sleeping till noon stage! :o

Ah, you see, I was one of those smug parents whose babies slept from 6 weeks old. It was all the parents fault that their child didn't sleep through, you were obviously doing something wrong, lack of routine, being too faffy around them etc...

Then I had DS3. Oh how my smugness bit me in the backside. He never slept through until he was 16 months old, prior to that he woke every 2-3 hours for an hour long feed. Nothing we did made him sleep longer, not even co sleeping. He is 5 now and still not the best sleeper, early starts, occasionally wakes in the middle of the night for a drink etc.

So, you're not doing anything wrong, it's just the way your child is. And he is still very young, he might start sleeping better in a few weeks/months.

Me two creamy

Ds3 was 22months when ds4 arrived, ds3 was my worst sleeper. A couple of weeks before the baby was born we decided to try gradual retreat with him, it worked slowly and he started sleeping better. Me and dp also took it in turns to sleep in his room so we could shush him and tell him to lay back down etc (he was in the habit of being up for a few hours in the night) for the first week.

Maybe work on helping the toddler to sleep better somehow? Its crap I know, waking up with two hope it gets better for you soon

Oh and once he dropped his nap at 2.4 he started sleeping 13 hours and only occasionally wakes now!

I think a lot of it is luck.

Dd1 slept through at 12 weeks, however she only had a few naps in the day, IF she was being pushed in her pram or in the car. I had to carry her around a lot in a sling during the day but got an unbroken night(well 11-6ish). She had a dummy.

Dd2 didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months. She woke frequently and ended up co sleeping from an early age. She had 2 long sleeps during the day though. She wouldn't contemplate a dummy, just spat it out.

I did nothing different with them to start with, they were just born that way.

I had a six week sleeper througher. Now I don't.

Pass the matchsticks. :o

My ds didn't start to sleep at night until approx 8 weeks (now 11 weeks) One thing I do is put his blanket and moses basket sheet in my bed before I put it in his basket so it smells of me. It might be a few more weeks until your little one settles into a sleep pattern

Totally agree with those who say luck. DS1 was and is at 3.5 a sleeper. Even now if we let him he'll have a good 2 + hours nap in the day (we don't because then he won't sleep at night) but DS2 who we did much of the same things with, dark, pat and shush, sleeping bag/ swaddle, leave to cry a bit is still a bugger at almost a year. Obviously we thought we were the best parents with DS1 but that turned around to bite us!! But DS2 is MUCH better now. I've finally accepted that only getting older/ time will help. Doesn't make it any easier being totally knackered though.

I had sleepers, and I did Gina Ford.

< runs away >

My DD slept 12 hrs from birth. Health visitor actually suggested
I wake her for two feeds even though she gained well.

In fairness, she's youngest of three and DS1 doesn't yet do a full night (he's 10 and Autistic) and DS2 is a very early waker.

I think luck plays a big part.

My twins are both sleepers. I think it is because they were prem and "put" into a good routine in the NICU.

I...
swaddled until 7 weeks then went to sleeping bags
all naps/sleep in dark, quiet room
white noise
used a dummy until 20 weeks but only for sleep/naps. No dummies when awake
stuck to a strict routine (and still do)
woke them at 7am for their first feed (or didn't fit all their feeds in)
woke them for all feeds throughout the day (not at night)
started a bedtime routine at 5 weeks (it was hard going, I must have gone up and down the stairs 100 times an evening but persevered)
never left them to cry but didn't pick them up with every moan/groan
never held them when they were sleeping or let them sleep on me/or visitors. Babies could only be cuddled by visitors when they were awake

One slept through at 11 weeks (5 weeks corrected) and the other at 14 weeks (9 weeks corrected). They at nearly 15 months old and sleep 2.5 hours in the afternoon and 12 hours at night.

no more DC for us, we can't be so lucky third time round

This is very interesting reading. It does appear to be overwhelmingly luck followed by a bit of coercion from others.

I'm fascinated by those that say they got into a routine though. How? If my baby doesn't want to sleep/eat/be awake/poo - then he doesn't!

In hospital with my first aged 21, I was clueless. The woman in the bed next to me had six. I asked her when they slept through the night expecting to hear x months but she said from when she got home from hospital. I followed her advice and got midnight til 6 most nights and this gradually extended.

I did the same with dc 2 and 3 and same results. Ds1 is now 23, Dd1 14 and Ds2 12. I'm pregnant again. Wonder if it really was routine or luck....

The advice? Never go more than three hours under six weeks during daylight hours without a feed. Four hours over six weeks. Swaddle top half (don't restrict legs) and wake for feed at mum's bedtime (midnight). Light off during that feed, no interaction (apart from cuddle) no nappy change unless really necessary. Make sure good feed by blowing, stimulating where necessary.

One thing we got with the first was screams evenings with colic so it is not all picture perfect!

Is interesting,id love it if our dd was a fab sleeper cus of us but prob isnt lol!
Infact,sometimes I feel tempted to just have her as it worries me having another that wont really sleep! Wonder if we will luck out again!

Dd slept well from the day she was born, so not something we did. Sorry.

I think a routine def helps - even if not the baby then it helps me!

You prob are in some sort of routine with your toddler, am guessing you get up at roughly the same time, have breakfast, play etc.

Bedtime routine normally involves a bath, milk, pjs, cuddles in no particular order but at roughly the same time every night.

I think you can encourage a baby at any age to settle without having something in its mouth or being carried/rocked etc. However some babies are much more needy in terms of having to be helped to sleep.

My dd was a very 'sucky' baby and a dummy helped her to settle (she was also bf) I am more mum led in terms of if I am rested I am a better mum!!

I treated both my dcs the same. Dc1 slept through from about 5 weeks and dc2 has only just started to sleep through at 1 year. Do was also a dream day sleeper and dc2 not so much. I don't think it is completely about the parenting, I think the type of child is a huge factor.

It is complete luck. I am very lucky and dd is a good sleeper but she always has been from birth. She often had to be woken for feeds (ebf) and once we stopped having to wake her she just naturally started sleeping in longer and longer stretches untill she was sleeping through. Went a bit rocky at the 16 week sleep regression but would still only be up twice over night. She got over this and went back to sleeping through. We are completely baby led and don't use a dummy. The only part of the day with a routine is at between 5-6, whenever she is ready for it,we have no nappy time, bath, ready for bed and then have a big long feed in the dark. Lo is fed to sleep and often falls asleep, gets put in cot, but then wakes back up and will be fed again untill she finally settles which never seems to be any later than 8.30. However, she was still a good sleeper even when last feed was in living room and she would stay through there with us until we went to be. We were in a flat so could move her earlier.

I know that might not sound too helpful but for me it shows that you shouldn't beat your self up about your children not sleeping. Although it must be incredibly exhausting and you have my full sympathy it is not your fault. I don't think a very strict routine is always the way to get your child to sleep. Hope things get better for you