friend finger in my baby's mouth.

[susan1985]

A friend of mine wanted to hold my baby and I let her. Why not?
Then she put her finger in his mouth, because the baby has been unsettled since this weekend.
I think he's teething and she just wanted to feel.

I was surprised. I said: Maybe better not to do that.

Because for some silly reason I wanted to stay nice. But in my head I was saying totally different things to her!!!!!!!!

Now I just wish I could turn back time and that I didn't let her hold him.

I know I'm probably way to worried about everything. I've a postnatal depression. I got help for it and I'm getting better and better every week. But I still worry, way to much.

Now all kinds of thoughts flow around in my head. If he's going to be fine or not.
He most likely will be fine.

I should be more worried about his first tooth coming and I'm still breastfeeding him. When that tooth comes.... I think I'll be in for a painful surprise.

It doesn't matter if I become 100 or 200. I'll NEVER understand why people think they can just touch someone else's baby.
And thankfully she wasn't a stranger, but why on earth would it be ok to just put your finger in a baby's mouth????

Because the baby can't say: 'I don't like this'. Maybe I just should have pushed my finger in her mouth without asking and see what she would have thought about that.

And she got kids herself! They aren't this young anymore, but when they were. I can't believe she would have liked it if someone would have done that to her baby.

Ppfff nice to be able to share it over here with others.

Ds4 got his first tooth at 4 months, typically the dcs I didn't bf got them much later.he does occasionally bite me when he's teething and I sometimes have to take him off and relatch him if he's tired as it can be uncomfortable but its not as painful as you'd think. Ds4 is 10 months and has 6 teeth now.

DS is teething at 14 weeks

He just chews his own fingers though as he hasn't yet worked out how to pick up the stupidly expensive teething giraffe

My friends DS keeps doing this to my DS (who'll be 1 tomorrow)

It annoys me more that he keeps doing it even though I've told him to stop countless times, my friend (his mum) has also told him to stop but he still does it

However, DS made it clear himself that he doesn't like it by grabbing hold of friends DS and bit his cheek

You sound very stressed and are worrying unnecessarily about this - it's a perfectly normal and usual thing to do - partly to feel if a tooth has broken through, and partly to give them something to gnaw on as it helps, when they are little. There is nothing wrong with a baby having a chew on someone's finger - as everyone else has said, a LOT worse will be chewed, licked, and yes, even swallowed before too long.

DS once ate a bee.

Please don't worry about this. It really is nothing.

I found DS2 dipping the loo brush in the toilet and sucking it, when he was a toddler.
He's 10 now and very healthy

I just re read the thread title and saw fried finger in my baby's mouth.

So it could have been worse

Wauw all the things children can ate....

Eating a bee. I really would be shitting my pants if my child would do that. Didn't the bee sting? Was your child ok?

Hi op,

I've not read the whole thread but I feel the same, in that I do not want anyone who I've not given the ok to put their fingers in ds's mouth (Dh included). I get that they think it soothes, and it probably does, but I didn't want any old person deciding they'd shove their fingers in there. I worried so much, esp imagining him trying to turn away and them not letting him, that Dh and I agreed to tell people our approach before they tried it. This worked esp well with in laws etc.

I think it's probably like all things parenting... If you want / don't want something specific, you've just got to tell people xx

OP, I totally feel the same!! Yes ok, it has prob done no harm etc but I would never dream of putting my finger in anyone else's baby's mouth!!!!! You should never do anything like that and expect its ok, you should ask. Would you take someone's baby out of a mother or father's arms or would you ask first to hold them?!!!!

I am not sure whether this story will help or send to screaming for the hills , but here goes:

DS2, now 9, was my precious preemie baby (born at 31 week, albs 10oz), he was late in meeting all his milestones and at 10 months could just about sit. So he was out in the garden, I was hanging up washing and next thing I know, he's chewing something, quite happily.
Dear Reader, it was cat poo . Dried cat poo, but poo nonetheless.
He only cried when I tried to get what I could out of his mouth.
He was absolutely fine btw.

Now, I am not suggesting that we all start feeding our children any form of excrement and of course he could've picked something up from it, but he didn't.
Nor will your son from something relatively less horrible like a finger.

Yes, illnesses do get transmitted via all sorts of means including hands, but that's a fact of life. Germs are all around us and we have immune systems for that kind of thing.

I think the fact that you found her finger in his mouth disgusting is fair enough, but the level of anxiety is likely part of your PND and it's great that you are getting help and feeling better every day.

Challenge anxieties like, otherwise there is a danger that they take over all your thinking and your enjoyment of your wee boy.
Soon he'll be mobile and you'll have less and less control over what he sticks in his mouth and babies like to explore their world with their mouths.

There's nothing wrong with disliking her letting him suck her finger and I think if it makes you feel this uncomfortable you need to simply say to her "could you please not do that?".
But other than that, let that past episode go now.

He was tip-top until I made him spit the bee out. He seemed to be enjoying his snack.
The bee didn't sting him so maybe he was enjoying it too?

First. He will be fine. Like other people have said, he will have far worse in his mouth. A friend of mine once picked up my baby's dummy from the floor, sucked it and put it back in his mouth while I stared on in horror. He's 4 now so he survived