Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Splitting siblings at Christmas

11 replies

MummaClair · 14/12/2013 09:29

I have 2 boys. One 11 and the other 3. They have different fathers. Youngest dad is asking for him on Christmas Day. I have said he can have him from 4pm onwards overnight and Boxing Day. And I will collect him Boxing Day evening around 5. Myself and his mother thought this was fair, but he is unhappy with this. But as I have an older don they do not want to be split up. My solicitor as sent him a letter do say he can see little one every other weekend and said Boxing Day. He wants to take this to court. If he did would he be able to split my boys on Christmas Day?

OP posts:

TheDetective · 14/12/2013 09:33

I have no idea. I have this worry as my oldest has a different father.

Luckily, his dad hates christmas and isn't arsed . We've split up the day in previous years as he lives close. DS1 goes for 2 hours in the morning or afternoon, to fit around me (due to working christmas day most years).

I'd be interested to know the legal standpoint though, just in case like he'd ever change, but you know!.

This year he is coming here for half an hour because that is all he has time for .

And giving me half the money for the presents as he doesn't have time to go shopping either.

He informed me of this 8 days ago.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 14/12/2013 09:42

If it went to court then yes. The court would more than likely say your son should spend every other christmas with his Dad.

TheDetective · 15/12/2013 00:58

I thought the court was more for the rights of the child now?

I would have thought keeping siblings together as much as possible trumps anything else? Especially if they want to be together.

Just musing really.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Xmas2013MN6233 · 15/12/2013 01:10

why is his relationship with his sibling more important than his relationship with his dad?

It does sound rather like you want to control contact, he should be spending as much time with his dad as possible, assuming his dad is not a total fuckwit.

Imagine if you were only allowed to see him every other weekend??

And also that is horrible for your little boy - he needs to see him in between as well, so they can build a decent relationship.

LEgally I believe the courts would say you this year, him next.

TheDetective · 15/12/2013 01:11

Are you asking me Mummy?

Xmas2013MN6233 · 15/12/2013 01:14

yes, based on the keeping siblings together trumps everything, I just wondered why that was more important than a decent relationship with his dad.

Original poster

MummaClair · 15/12/2013 08:19

Youngest dad was seeing him every weekend from the split but that was temp arrangement until he went to school and I went back to work. Solicitor said I also need quality time with my son. So I asked his dad for every weekend which he threatened to break my legs. So my solicitor sent him a letter proposing every other weekend and an evening or 2 after school each week. He only said yes to weekends and no to in the week. I proposed to share the Xmas and he could pick him up after dinner around 4 have him overnight and have all of Boxing Day. But this is not good enough. And in this case it's more to hurt me and not thinking about son. His mother as said that herself. My eldest normally as Xmas with me and Boxing Day with his dad, half brother sister and grandparents. So it's like having 2 xmas days. Unfortunately eldest will not be with his dad or other brother and sister this year due to unforeseen circumstance. I will be spending it with eldest and his grandparents to try and keep some kind of normality. So he won't be seeing other siblings I think it's very important to keep my 2 together

OP posts:

NachoAddict · 15/12/2013 08:55

I would be upset too but you could always have Christmas day on Christmas eve instead maybe? My eldest two have a different dad to my youngest and they went off to their dads at 11am last year, it was horrible for me but they loved it and we spent the day with youngest's family (my inlaws) so he had lots of cousins to play with.

TheDetective · 15/12/2013 10:08

Because Christmas is for children, and for me doing what is best for them at Christmas trumps adults wants.

If my children wanted to be together Christmas Day, that's what I'd do.

Original poster

MummaClair · 16/12/2013 15:04

My boys want to be together. The eldest would love his other brother snd sister to be with him too but that's an impossibility. X

OP posts:

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 16/12/2013 21:05

Would you be happy to have it the oposite way around? your ds spends Christmas day with his dad, gets his stocking there, opens his present, eats christmas dinner with his dad and then you can go and get him at 4?

Your dc need to keep contact with each other obviously, but missing out on some of Christmas day together is not a problem.

Flip