feel like screaming,3 and 6 year old driving me spare

[bemusedisnottheword]

I have name changed for this post as I'm a bit embarrassed about the subject matter. Ive failed as a parent to my younger dd's, totally.

I have 4dc, a son of 14 who has autism/adhd, an 11 year old who is lovely, just stroppy and the two younger dd's.

Their behaviour is awful. The three year old is a nightmare, she is hyper, demanding,screamy, will not go to bed and stay there, clingy, will get herself out of the car seat when driving and launch herself at me or try and climb out the car window again when I'm driving, forcing to stop quickly obviously putting us all and other road users at risk, rude and irritable and obsessive. But brilliant at school

She was a brilliant baby until she hit two and I've struggled with her ever since, her 6 year old sister pushes boundaries all the time and winds her sister up at times which makes it all worse.

I've tried sleep routines with the pair of them but both can scream for hours even when I go back to them or sit with them and then autistic ds gets aggressive with me because he can't stand the upset.

Ive tried everything, distraction, rewards, ignoring, everything. Nothin works.

And to top it all I caught the 6 year old playing with her bits, but she's doing it for ages and will not go to sleep till tennish and she's so tired. What do I do with that?I'm not so bothered about her doing that but its getting out of hand now.

I am such a shite mummy and they all know it. After 14 years ofparenting you would think I would have cracked it but the younger dd's are a completely different ball game to my elder two even ds with allhis problems.

I'm sorry you are struggling. I only have two but this time of year is really difficult. They are tired/wound up about Christmas/hyper. If mine have not had enough sleep they wake up fighting and are really hard work.

I do think you probably need a good sleep routine. Maybe your 3 year old will improve if she gets more sleep. I take it she doesn't nap in the day? Mine usually goes to sleep really easily if she hasn't napped but I do try to do the same routine every night. PJS on. Bedtime programme and snack/milk.

Sounds like the 6 year old is overtired too. Mine does a lot of" self-comforting "especially when she is tired. It used to bother me a lot but now I try snd ignore. She's been doing it since she was very young. To her it's like sucking her thumb.

Ten seems far too late for your 6 year old. It sounds like she is very tired but can't wind down. Would a run around after school help, some TV if she gets too hyper.

Could you go out for a walk/drive/some fresh air if she won't sleep. Do you have a partner who could help out at bedtime?

Thank you wessex. I think they both are over tired and I think you're right about the Christmas hype. We have had a lot on this month and things do play on their minds. Dd3 will get into bed and it's like a switch has come on in her brain and her little mind goes into overdrive and lays there mentioning little things that worry her or stuff thats happened that day.
And so restless.

We don't get out that much in the winter and out local parks are frequented by yobs and broken glass which is a shame. I could go out for a drive with them if they won't settle. Thanks for reassuring me about the self comforting, it really does bother me but apparantly I did it too as a young child. I think it worries me because it's stopping her from sleeping.

I am seperated from their dad but he comes to see them a lot. He does help sometimes in the evenings when he's not on shift work.

Sounds tough for you. Dealing with 4 on your own. I struggle with two and I have a DH to help at weekends. Don't know what else to suggest but

Bumping in case anyone else can help.

Just wondering if thread worms could be a problem that causing the self comforting?

Do you have a bedtime routine (seperate for each) supper, bath, story, cuddle, sleep. It does work if you do it consistently.

All that said I have 4 Dc and they are all driving me up the walls today. Hugs!!

Good point about the thread worms, both have been itchy down there and much worse at night, so wormed them today (sounds awful )

dd3 did not go to sleep until half an hour ago. She was so out of sorts today, lots of upheaval in routine at school, it was their school play today amongst other things and in the end I held her door shut in desperation and she cried for 5 mins and went to sleep by the door