Sleep help - 6m old

[samjammy]

Hi,

I hope I'm in the right section, I couldn't see a specific sleep one which surprised me giving how obsessed I think every parent is with it at one time or another!

I'm starting to really struggled with my 6.5m olds multiple night wakings, and issues with resettling. I'm exhausted and though I've tried different things, I'm getting to the point of not being able to see the wood for the trees and am wondering if I'm missing something simple, and if anyone had any tips they may be able to share please!

I was very lucky initially with my little boy, and from 8 weeks he was sleeping 8/9 hours straight and waking for a BF at about 5 a.m. then sleeping again for another 2 hours or so. For the last 2 months though, I think I am being punished for this as he's waking up usually every hour or two all through the night, often more, usually NOT to feed (he did go through lots of feeding at one stage but thankfully not anymore / at the moment). He has a dummy which I introduced due to bad eczema on his hand, reflux and listening to well meaning advice about helping him to ss. Now I think the dummy is probably one of the main problems, when he wakes he needs to suck back to sleep, but he often also wakes whilst the dummy is still in and still needs someone to nod back off.

I try rubbing his tummy, dummy, picking him up, cuddling, rocking, feeding (all in stages, if needed, not all at once!) But he wakes up so quickly after going back down, often before I've nodded back off myself.

I've been trying to encourage ss, and usually put him down when very drowsy, though in the night I'm the first to admit this often goes to pot if he won't fall back asleep in his cot as I'm just desperate to get back to bed myself. Likewise, I'm trying to gradually remove the dummy but it all falls apart in the night.

He doesn't appear to be too hot or cold, he seems happy in his cot - he wakes up happy in the morning and after decent naps, and though he burps the odd time when being picked up, on the whole I wouldn't say it's something like wind disturbing him.

I know there is teething, weaning, developmental leaps etc. etc. but if there is something I'm missing that could help both him and me I would love to hear it as it's starting to stress me out a bit :(

Thank you and sorry for the ramble.

I've had this with both DSs (DS1 used to wake up every 40 minutes all night, sometimes) and would confidently say I've tried everything. The only thing that saved my sanity was co-sleeping - they both slept much better and it wasn't a problem getting DS1 into his cot when he was about 10m. DS2 is 8m so still going through it.

Thanks a lot for replying, and so quickly Z. It's reassuring to know your DS got through it, killer though it is at the time! I forgot to say we have co-slept a hand full of times and he has slept much, much better for it, but I was worried about it becoming a bit of a habit and making the transition back to his cot harder. You've reassured me on that though. I know co-sleeping works great for lots of people but it wasn't something I wanted to do on a regular basis... I feel much more human the next day though and my LO wakes looking very pleased with himself ;)

Perhaps I need to just go with it more, it's so hard to know what to do for the best.

In guilty of giving into dd and were increasingly co sleeping. I need to address sleep issues as well but tbh sleep is my priority at the moment.

I think we will have to go down the controlled crying route if she doesn't sort it out with age.

Another vote for cosleeping, and the frequently-recommended (at least on mn) No Cry Sleep Solution, which saved us from hourly-waking hell. It's slow but steady, less traumatic for both of you, and more manageable than a week of tough love when you're already exhausted. At 7 months DS also started to slowly improve naturally as he took in more solids, spent more time upright, and his reflux started to get a bit better.

We still don't have anywhere near as good an 'average' night as most of my mothers group, but at nearly 9 months we are seeing the light, and I am rested enough to actually enjoy waking up to spend the day with my son. It does get better!

It does sound as though he struggles to self settle. Personally, I would settle him in his cot, with his dummy. Only use props that will be there when he enters into a light sleep cycle, this ensures that when he stirs between sleep cycles, everything he needs to get back to sleep.

A dummy can become a negatve sleep association if they can't put it back in when they wake up. If he can put it back in, some people put lots of dummies in a cot so they can easily find one and put it back in.

To encourage self soothing, I would do the bedtime routine of pjs, milk, book and then into sleeping bag and into bed. Sit with him and soothe him from within his cot. Soothing words and a rub on the tummy or bum only. He should settle quickly and within a week be going off quite quickly. You can then progress at your own rate to moving out of the room and just talking, no rubbing etc.

At 6 months, habits are easily forgotten so it shouldn't take too long before you're seeing bug improvements.

Re feeding, I think it's not unreasonable to want a night feed until they're 9 months old or so and well established on solids but try to settle without feeding for 5 hours from bedtime and then a similar length of time after that.

I hope this helps.

Sleep section - you might find some more advice there

Thank you all for replying - particularly as I see I am in the wrong section! Have posted there now - thanks :)

cupcake - sorry you are having issues too. I hope they improve quickly for you, I am starting to give up on calling it a 'phase' - sob!

SS - Thanks for sharing, glad things are improving with your LO - hope they continue to. I started reading NCSS and was really enjoying it - I introduced a couple of things, like the taggie, and sleep words, but I need to go back to it and follow it properly. When weaning was around the corner my spare time reading got changed to stuff about that and I haven't picked it up again. I'm really glad to see it made a difference to you and hope we find the same.

CTOAGN - Thanks for all the tips, I will definitely try. It would be wonderful to see an improvement in a week, even if only slight, tbh a 2 hour block of sleep would be luxurious atm! I'm not sure he has the co-ordination with his dummy, he can get it in, but often the wrong way round, or if it's right, he is unable to let go of his hand so pulls it out again! I guess we either try to train him on managing his dummy or wean him off it, and I know I need to be consistent. I'm happy to feed him in the night if he wants it, it's just naturally happened that he doesn't atm, but I'm sure that will change again!

I wrote the same thread yesterday! Have decided to ditch the dummy as like you, I'm convinced it's the culprit. So far it's the hardest thing I've done as a parent to date. Am starting a support thread after I type this..

IPB81 - Just tracked down your post and will reply now. I really hope the dummy removal is going well - you are braver than me and will hopefully inspire some courage over in this house!!

Just to add a faint vestige of light at the end of the tunnel - DS2 8m has slept in his cot, only waking every two hours for feeds, for the last two nights. The co-sleeping doesn't seem to have thrown him off at all and it's certainly meant I get more sleep. Mind you, we never had a cuddle-him-all-night, help-himself-to-milk kind of co-sleeping. I used to settle him on his own side of the double bed and pick him up when he woke for feeds. The trouble with his cot was always settling him back down again after a feed. So, anyway, it can be done!