7yo asking about sex

[Mizza76]

Hi, I hope I'm posting this in the right place.
My 7yo daughter has been asking me recently about how babies are made. She's been quite persistent so I've told her that there's an egg from the mum and sperm from the father and they come together to make the baby, but she has asked several times - most recently today... - how the father's sperm actually gets into the mother. I'm stumped about what to tell her! I said something about how the mum and the dad have a 'special hug' or something but she is asking more.
What do I tell her??? I really feel 7yo is too young to be given any more technical details but do not want to lie to her either. I'm not worried she'll get it from elsewhere at this stage - she is, for various reasons, quite sheltered - so it's not a question of preempting other kids, but I want to give her an honest answer without actually getting unnecessarily graphic.
Any advice gratefully received.....

This is where I turn to books - something to share and discuss together.

How about "Mummy laid an egg" by Babette Cole?

My daughter's 5 and has asked the same questions.

I started of with the egg and seed theory. That they come together and make a baby.

Then of course she asked how the seed got inside the woman's body. I told her that when people become grown ups, their bodies change. And this means that the man can put his seed inside the woman. And then i started talking a bit about fertility treatment, telling her that sometimes doctors put the seed there, or it's done outside of the body first.

I did ramble a bit, but she seemed to take it in. And so far - no more questions. Yey!

Why are you not comfortable telling her about the body parts involved?

My mum used the seed meets egg story from when I first asked- aged about 2 when she was pregnant with my sister- until I was about 7 and a girl told me the mechanics in the playground. She was basically right but got it a bit mixed up. I asked my mum if this was true and she was then honest and explained using a book how it all happened. It didn't scar me and I waited ten more years to have sex myself Could it be that she's got some info from a friend? If so you should be upfront with her because otherwise it could get confusing for her.

In my most recent conversation with my 7 year old, she already knew that babies were made when the sperm joins an egg inside the mummy. This time (while discussing adoption in the olden days as opposed to now) I got to tell her that the daddy puts his penis into the mummy's vagina and that grown ups often do that for fun and not just to make babies.

That was the easy part of the conversation. The reasons why children are adopted was much harder to explain.

I guess I was told when I was about 3.

I've never not known. My DDad says my favourite word was why, so he just answered my questions, honestly.

DD2 was 7 and I told her, because she had a big sister with a older best friend who talked about such things and I thought she'd better have the story straight.

DD1 claims said BF told her on Guide camp aged about 10.

Not entirely true because,like my DDad we had never not answered questions and been entirely frank.

DF just did a very funny (and accurate lecture on the subject).

Ziggyzoom - Don't know, just feels too early. She still believes in the tooth fairy, I can't believe she's really ready to hear about sex.

I've always thought that if they are old enough to ask the right question then they are old enough for the answer. It's better if it comes from you because if you don't tell her she's bound to keep asking other people until she does get an answer, and if it comes from someone else it's never going to be what you personally would have wanted her to hear or understand. If you explain it now very simply she'll most likely be quite satisfied and carry on with her more usual thoughts but really importantly she'll know that you are a great person to ask for help with this kind of stuff as she grows up. My daughter asked exactly the same at 7, I told her honestly and then without skipping a beat she went back to talking about her favourite build a bear. Very relaxed, no big deal and not the watershed moment I thought it might be in any way. She's 13 now and we still chat about sex and relationships in the same way as we discuss what to have for tea....

I have never not known in memory nor sure how though.
Dd was only 8 when she asked .e how the seed and egg came together. I told her the same as theraniofyawn said above although I missed out the do it for fun too bit. Not intentionally just never crossed my mind to say it.

I also believe old enough to ask old enough to be told the truth in an age appropriate manner. There is nothing wrong with her knowing about sex and she doesn't need to know yet it's a recreational activity as well. She purely wants to know how babies are made. Get this right just now and it can make you way more approachable longer term.

I think she is old enough to know. My parents tried to keep it from me at that age, I went and found out anyway, and then I felt like I knew a really dirty secret and felt awful for about 6 months.

Sex isn't wrong, or dirty. But that's the impression you'll give her by not giving her the truth.

Good luck. I know it's difficult, but knowing about it won't make her any less of your little girl.

Forgot to say that Usborne do a really good How Babies are Made book too, sex is depicted in a very lovely, unthreatening and affectionate way and in the book we had a few years back both the mum and dad in the story had big cheesy grins which always made me smile.

Maybe it would help you feel more in control of the conversation if you look at it together and give her an opportunity to ask more questions too. Don't be surprised if she asks you exactly the same thing several times, she'll need to hear it and process it a few separate times before it sticks and feels confident that she knows.

Just tell her the truth. Mine were told from the age of 5 (first term in reception). The longer you leave it the worse it will be. 'Where willy went' is a funny book that covers the basics for little kids.

They still both believe in Father Christmas and the tooth fairy.

DS2 asked at the dinner table and before DH and I were able to draw breath DD and DS1 launched into a long and detailed explanation which included "Daddy put his penis in Mummy's vagina and he must have done it at least three times as there's three of us". He was just 3.

Why do people keep thinking that something will happen if their children learn about how reproduction happens? Do you also keep other biological details from them such as how food is digested?

OP she has asked you. So tell her. I personally found it easier to focus on the reproduction aspect first before the recreational aspect, but now mine are older (10 and 8) they have a vague idea about the latter as well as the former. And the 8 year old definitely believes in the tooth fairy and Father Christmas (slightly less sure about the older one).

Knowing about sex and believing in Father Christmas are not mutually exclusive.

Loss of ignorance does not mean loss of innocence.

Just tell her. Plain, simple, matter of fact. Ask her if she has any questions. Tell her you will always answer any questions she might have. Then go on cooking tea.

Ok! I hear you.... Will let you know how it goes... Thank you everyone for your advice.

I am pregnant and have a 7 yr old ds. I am getting questions!

So far he knows how babies grow and how they come out. He knows the body parts.

I've also told him about sperm and egg because he thought babies just 'appeared' in your womb once you decided to have a baby!

He's not asked how sperm meets egg yet so i've left it. But i'll give a simple,honest answer if he does.

I think people worry about sexualising them too young. But this is just honest biology and important. It's the wrong sexual messages from media and advertising I worry more about.

Yippeeteenager that's lovely you and your dd can communicate like that . Hope I have that with dd.