Why can't people just accept that I don't want anymore children

[alicemama]

I'm sick to death of people asking me when I'm having another baby. This week alone I've been asked 5 times.
I have a wonderful 3 1/2yr dd and 8 month old dd.
I love my girls dearly and intend to enjoy every second of their childhood.
But I KNOW that I don't want anymore and dh feels exactly the same.
A couple of friends have had babies recently and i love having a little cuddle cus yes babies are so cute! but they're even cuter when you can hand them back.
Everyone ssays Oh you'll change your mind! But no I won't!
I'm concentrating on the lovely 2 children I have and wissh other people will accept it.

Sorry for the rant but really had enough of everyones comments

You wouldn't be able to win. If you had a third it would be all "don't you think two are enough?" and "do you not have a telly?" and "you do know what causes that, don' you?"

I can completely sympathize alicemama, have DS 1.5yrs and DS 9wks!! and a step DS 4 yrs. Do people think you havnt found happiness unless you have a pink one and a blue one???

I don't kow but it pisses me off.

I have one dd who is almost 5 and I am constantly being asked and people attempt to make me feel like an unloving freak for not wanting anymore. They don't manage it as I know I ahve reached my maternal limts with the one I ahve.

I come from a very large family my nan had 12 children and all of my aunts/uncles have at least 3 children.
I keep saying just because I'm in the family it doesn't mean that I'm genetically modified to breed at last 3 or more children!

I think it's probably because you've got 2 girls. My Mum's like this with us because we've got 2 boys - it's like you couldn't possibly be satisfied until you've got 1 (or more) of each... Utterly bonkers and there's no way I'd think about having any more just to give my Mum a granddaughter.

It's the same with any stage of life. When you're dating someone it's "When are you getting engaged?".
When you're engaged it's "When are you getting married?".
When you're married it's "When are you having kids?"
When you have 1 kid it's "When are you having another?"
Etc, etc, etc.
It's just part of the Human condition to want people to be moving on to the "next stage".
We seem to only be satisfied if we can see that others are striving for something else, rather than being content with what they have.
I'm not sure why really.
I'm sure the comments are not aimed at your situation personally, it's just what people say.
I'm sure they'd be making the same comments if you had a boy and a girl.

I think that you get fewer comments if you have one of each. I've not been asked for years (my two are now 7 and 5). What's the next question on anyway? When are you retiring?

Message withdrawn

I always say we've worked out what causes it and put a stop to it!

If it's a stage thing and you get asked by an old person you could always say "when are you going to die?"

No, that may be a little rude.

@threebob oohhh that's evil lol

alicemama I get asked the same question all the time... I have dd1 4yrs and dd2 2yrs I think it's just something to say half the time...I even catch myself saying 'are you having anymore?' fgs...when people ask I just say no way I can't afford another one and I've lost enough brain cells already thank you! then they usually just laugh and say 'I know what you mean!'

Id love another one, i have 2 boys, and a m/c in feb. but now i have to have an op which will leave me infertile (im 27) so think yourselves lucky you are being asked, and don't have to say 'yes, id lvoe another one, but i cant have anymore'...........theres always a silver lining ladies..

Embarrassingly I just today asked a woman on the train if she was thinking of having any more when she told me she has 1 DS (8 years).
As soon as the words left my mouth I thought "Shut up, shut up, shut up"
And that was after my little rant about people always asking last night!

alicemama, I think as long as youa re happy with two children, don't worry what other people say and might say. People like chatting, making conversations, etc. you might be asked why wouldn't you get a dog/a cat/a rabbit for your little kids, why wouldn't you move somewhere where the air is fresher, why wouldn't you send your kids in a particular school which is better, it's endless. You know what you want and what makes you happy and don't worry what the others say. Enjoy your lovely children. Best of luck!

I don't know but it is currently pissing me off too! I have a dS who has just turned 2 and have had 6+months of "when are you having the next one then" I feel like turning round and saying "non of your F**ing business!" Fact is I probably will have another fairly soon and thinking of ttc soon, but hardly going to answer with that am I!!

It is a no win though, friend with 3 said she got so fed up she just told everyone "I'm not having any more" as soon as DS2 was born. All this meant with lots of "ooh was it an accident?" "should have been more careful" when she announced 3rd pregnancy!

Oh feel much better after that little rant!

I am happily a mother of one, 11 year old daughter. I too got sick of comments like "its about time you were having a little brother or sister" etc etc. One particular man who was the Father of one of my colleagues used to say every time I saw him "you need to be having another baby". After several incidents of telling him I did not want another one, the very last time I spoke to him I got in first and said to him "before you start, I do not want or need to have another baby". He's never been quite the same with me since but who cares, the nosey sod should hve kept his gob shut. None of his children have provided him with any grandchildren yet but I never said to him "its about time your xx was having some kids then". I think its very rude as some people may have a medical reason why they cannot have more children and should not have to justify themselves to anyone. It all turned out that had I tried I probably could not have conceived another child anyway (probably very lucky to have conceived DD) because of medical problems which have only come to light over the past few years, and had I been trying to conceive to no avail at the time of this man's comments I think I would probably have thumped him!!

Havnt read the whole thread but, how dare you not want to be a baby making machine! You are a female is that not all you should be doing?!?!

lol lacrimosa, I feel completely ashamed of myself for not making optimum use of my ageing egg supply

how very dare you!

Too true, alicemama! I'm pregnant with my fourth son and I'm really cheesed off with the 'don't you want a girl?' shit.

but if you dont give birth to a girl where will a next generation come from?

I know of someone who had a post 20 week abortion because she'd had a scan and found out she was having a third boy.

I can't get my head around that.

And, lacrimosa, I shall take great pleasure in being the MIL from hell.

No one will be good enough for my boys.