Is 3 a difficult age?

[matana]

Everyone says about the Terrible Twos but DS just turned 3 and seems to have turned into Kevin the Teenager.

Don't get me wrong, when he's not tired or hungry or in a bad mood for any other reason he is loving, funny, happy and affectionate. But for the past month bedtimes are a nightmare because he's so hyper and will not/ cannot calm down, his eating is atrocious (how he eats rather than what he eats) and he is generally pretty non compliant and extremely sensitive about anything that isn't 'just so' according to his world. He is being absolutely awful to DH - "No, i want mummy to do it not you. I don't like/ love you". It has also coincided with another phase of hitting/ biting/ kicking when he has a meltdown.

Everything else has stayed constant. There are no problems at home (other than the stresses of dealing with his behaviour and the impact it has on my DH) and we are otherwise a completely normal, healthy family with no bereavements or other problems. We both work FT so i do wonder if he's hit a stage where he wants to spend time with me, so when we're all at home it's me he wants. He always goes off to the CM completely happy and confident, but is just so clingy with me when we get home. He's like my little shadow which is lovely on the one hand (we have a very close bond) but hurtful to DH on the other and borderline tiresome for me when i've worked all day and need DH to do bath/ bedtime and all i can hear is screaming and unhappiness. We try to take turns but at the moment it's just sometimes easier to do everything for DS than hear the unhappiness that ensues.

I'm hoping that time together this Christmas will settle DS a bit as i can give him my undivided attention.

In the words of my Goddaughter's Mother "give me a 2 year old any day!". From what I have seen on the internet and from other friends 3 years old is far harder than 2 years. My DS has just turned 2.5 and he is already displaying a lot of the behaviours that you have mentioned. He has also become very clingy with me when I drop him off at pre-school, refusing naps and bedtimes (he used to go down like a dream) and being generally defiant and really really hard work! Hang in there, you are not alone. I think we just need to be firm in our boundaries and let them pass through this stage (while keeping the wine cellar well stocked for the next year or so lol).

I have got b/g 3 yr old twins.
I feel your pain!!!!

I thought 2 was a breeze and that we had luckily missed terrible twos,omg was I in for a shock.

Apart from the newborn stage 3 has been the hardest age,exactly how you have described except they are clingy with daddy more than me,I get the 'I dont like you' etc

I'm promised it will pass,but they are nearly 4 and if anything they are getting worse!
I guess they are becoming mire independent but can't have they freedom they would like,don't see the danger in anything and don't like being told no quite a lot.
I also though have the complete mega tantrums if I put dd in the wrong colour socks-they were her favourite last week,or if I dare to serve up a dish they gave happily eaten for months but today is clearly unacceptable!

Aww my 3yr olds no trouble wait till their 6 going on 16!

I've heard the phrase "threenager" used before (as in teenager)

DD1 got her tantrums out of the way at 2. DD2 is going to be one of those who has them at 3, and she was three in November - I feel it will be a long year.

A 3 year old has more energy and weight to throw into their efforts, don't they!

I could have written this post a couple of months ago, dd turned 3 in September and also turned into a complete nightmare. No biting thankfully but everything else you've described sounds exactly the same. I've not got any real advice but just to say that we kept everything exactly the same, didn't show hurt feelings, discipline didn't change but we did introduce the naughty step which worked quite well if only as a chance for everyone to calm down.

You'll probably get told not to give in over bath time etc but I found that making dp it just to prove to dd that she doesn't rule the roost is just a lot more stressful than just doing it myself. However dp does come up with us, I do the boring stuff like washing hair etc then I busy myself with something else while dh does the fun stuff playing with bath toys etc.

Gradually it is getting easier and there is a massive improvement in her behaviour without us having to really do anything. I think figuring out how to avoid a kick off before it starts has helped.

One thing I have started doing though is when she's kicking off she starts asking for whoever isn't with her at the time, say if I'm getting her dressed upstairs she scream that she wants daddy to do it etc (and vice versa) so all I do is say "no you don't want daddy to do it you just want your own way and you're not getting it, mummy is getting you dressed" then go about getting her dressed which sometimes feels like I'm dressing a bloody crocodile that is attempting to death roll me. But it's worked and she now knows that when I say something I mean it so she can kick off all she wants but what I say goes.

Both my DMil and DSM have warned me, "terrible twos but effing threes" That said my DS is 2.5 atm and in the midst of a hitting/kicking/biting phase and rejecting me for DH, I only pray it can't get worse, as it's such an emotional roller coaster, I do feel your pain.

Ds3 will be 3 in a few weeks, I'm not expecting any huge changes as he's already pretty unreasonable and demanding most of the time.

I have erased my memories of ds1 and ds2 being 3, all I know is I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I packed them off to nursery!