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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Advise PLEASEEE :(

18 replies

elesx · 10/12/2013 18:20

I am pregnant with 3rd baby... And my partner has 2 children ages 13 and 8 from a previous marriage who come on the weekend and sleep on the sofa!!!!! (Which I can't stand) as we only have a 2 bed house

My little girls are 2 and 4 And when his children come at the weekend his son who is 8 years old is on call of duty on the x box (COD) ALL WEEKEND! All you can hear is shooting and bombs going off and swearing from other players etc.. It's an 18 rated game, I have told my partner that I do not want it on around the little girls anymore as. Want them to keep innocent for as long as possible and it isn't suitable for them to see and hear ,,
He said I'm n bileavable and can't bileavable what I'm saying?????

I'm so upset any decision I make he doesn't understand. My little girls and baby on the way are so you and innocent :(. X

OP posts:

lljkk · 10/12/2013 19:43

Sorry, but no way would that be allowed in my house. I know how difficult it could become, but I couldn't cope with it either when home, or want DC exposed to it so much.

TodgerDodger · 10/12/2013 19:46

I wouldn't allow that game in my house, let alone have kids played with it.

TodgerDodger · 10/12/2013 19:46

*playing

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Rumplestiltskinismyname · 10/12/2013 19:46

Could you accidentally knock something whilst hoovering- I.e
Remove a cable? I agree with you-he's too young and your girls are too young to experience this.

Sirzy · 10/12/2013 19:48

I would throw the game in the bin, or break the device it was on. No way should an 8 year old play games like that!

Original poster

elesx · 10/12/2013 19:50

Thanks guys... Glad I'm not alone!! I wish I could just throw the x box in the bin!!

I've spoke to my so called partner About it and he said I'm ridiculous and un bileavable!! I'm so shocked at him. He seems to let his children do whatever they like here when they stay on weekends. I feel like I'm being walked all over x

OP posts:

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 10/12/2013 19:57

Do you think he is trying to over compensate for them not being at home during the week? Is he competing with the children's mother to be the 'cool' parent? Whatever the reason, these games have age ratings for a reason, and he is not being a responsible parent. The child is 8 yo... this is very very wrong. If the child got into a scrap in the playground (emulating games he's played) and the teachers every asked him about what games he is allowed to play at home, his dad could get into a serious amount of bother.

Stand up for yourself and your girls, and your stepson and do something about it. Lock the xbox away- seriously.

Original poster

elesx · 10/12/2013 20:02

Thank you for your advise ... Yes I do think he's trying to over compensate - he said he is never going to stop his son GOIN on the Xbox, so. Said I don't mind normal kids games, but not violent 18 rated games. I'm not a wicked step mum, I'm trying to help and make everyone's life's better. His daughter is 12 and sits about all weekend looking miserable and bored because he doesn't interact with her... And if he doesn't, it's hard for me too. We have a 2 bed house and it isn't fit for 4 children at any time but I try and put up with it!! I'm trying to make our life's better on weekends when they come also for the baby on the way. I'm fighting a losing battle. I've cried countless amount of tears x

OP posts:

Jiltedjohnsjulie · 10/12/2013 21:04

That sounds so hard for you. I've got a 9yo DS and there is no way he will be allowed 18 cert games for a long while yet. Some of his peers are but they seem to be the ones who are outsiders and have difficulty making friends.

Do you feel able to talk to your DP about how unhappy his dd seems to be feeling? If your DP won't listen over the 18 games, could you insist that he only has an hour a day and after the younger DC gave gone to bed?

Original poster

elesx · 10/12/2013 22:21

I suppose I could suggest that..

I told him today that I don't want violent games on at the weekend anymore end of story and he said I'm evil and spiteful to his son what he enjoys!!! (No consideration to the little girls) he won't stick with me when it comes to parenting.

I've spoke about his daughter and he brushes it off.. I just don't want the little ones seeing anything bad and I don't want anything to rub of on them... I'm pregnant now and if its a boy they're is no way on earth I would let him on anything like that. That also worries me, if I have a boy, his dads gonna encourage him to play crap like that with his other son. I'm not having it but I'm never listened to. Kids aren't kids for long and in this day and age they grow up way too quick, and i think they should be innocent for as long as possible. Wish he thought the same. X

OP posts:

Jiltedjohnsjulie · 10/12/2013 22:24

If he doesn't respect your wishes on the game and won't listen about his dd, how are the other areas of your relationship?

Original poster

elesx · 10/12/2013 22:35

Well he's at work most days and nights its normaly just me and the girls

OP posts:

Jiltedjohnsjulie · 10/12/2013 22:38

If it was me, I don't think I could live with someone who wouldn't listen to me over something I felt so strongly about. He seems to just be dismissing your opinion as if you don't matter.

Original poster

elesx · 10/12/2013 22:40

You've hit the nail on the head. And it feels even worse bcos I'm pregnant. It's so hard. I just wana do it alone now x

OP posts:

livenlet · 10/12/2013 22:42

Find something eles the boy might be interested in j hated going to my dads it was so boring your attitude suggestes you dont want them there anyway is it the little boys fault he has to come to your house to see his father my god hes a child entertain him

Original poster

elesx · 10/12/2013 22:49

I wanted opinions on over rated x box games nothing else thank you.

OP posts:

Jiltedjohnsjulie · 10/12/2013 23:04

It must be really hard for you, and only you will know if this relationship is worth continuing.

If the weekends are doing your head in, could you suggest that you all go out this weekend? It doesn't have to be expensive, you could pack some snacks, get a football, wrap up warm and go to the park. If that fails, could you take your DDs (and maybe his dd) out to visit family or friends? How is your relationship with his dd? Does she get any time with you both when the other DC are in bed?

Also, if they are with you every weekend, and if finances allow, I'd be looking at signing them up for a regular weekend activity like football, hockey, cricket or rock climbing, whatever they are interested in and will give them time away from the gaming and will give their day a bit more structure. With my DS I find that he needs lots of love, lots of praise and loads of exercise, a bit like a dog

ZuleikaD · 11/12/2013 15:52

Whatever you decide about the relationship, I would definitely run a magnet over the Call of Duty disk. An 8 yo should not be playing that game.

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