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Original poster

3 month cries hard before sleep

20 replies

Kitkatinatin · 07/12/2013 21:38

Hi there.

Our 3m.o. cries so hard before he sleeps and we are not sure how to help him. He cries and fights when in our arms just the same as in his moses. We have checked all obvious things - feed, wind, nappy, temp etc and try to spot the tiny window of tiredness before the storm hits but usually end the same way - hard crying and us trying shhh shhh snd rocking for 20 min uuntil he finally drops of f.

This usually happens at least one nap a day and when first going down at night. Other times he can drop off in pram or after night feed With mminimal fuss.
Any ideas on how we can help him? Is it just a phase he will get through?
Thank you

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Trooperslane · 08/12/2013 08:30

No suggestions but marking my place because we've got a DD like that too.

nilbyname · 08/12/2013 08:38

Was going to say its sounds like she is overtired, babies change so much so maybe she needs an earlier nap or bedtime?

I did cranial osteopathy with both my babies which really helped to settle them as they were both c-section babies

RegainingUnconsciousness · 08/12/2013 08:57

DS cried when tired at that age, still does at 2.5!

I cry when I'm tired too!

Not a lot seemed to help, other than accepting it was tiredness and cuddling him/feeding to sleep (he grew out of both of those things).

Keep going, you're doing fine. Good luck.

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Original poster

Kitkatinatin · 08/12/2013 09:29

Thank you for these replies.
I am sure it is over tiredness some of the time but we get the same crying of we start too early too. There's really such a pinprick nanosecond of drowsy but not overtired that it's impossible to catch.

Had a water birth and he's generally a calm content baby. This sleep fighting seemed to start around 9 weeks.

Is it ok just to hold him while he cries given tgat nothing really makes a difference. Or is this a form of controlled crying (which I sm not ready to do)

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knittingirl · 08/12/2013 09:53

Holding him while crying is not controlled crying - a crying baby who is being comforted doesn't show the same raise in stress hormones as a nun comforted one.

I have the same model of baby!

knittingirl · 08/12/2013 09:54

*non comforted, obviously!

SuckItAndSee · 08/12/2013 09:59

dd2 did this for ages
I think she was chronically overtired
we just sat holding her in a darkened room until she dropped off - no amount of walking/rocking sorted it so we gave our backs a rest. she eventually grew out of it.

she's now three, and although the regular bedtime crying stopped long agao, she is still noisy hellish when overtired.

islingtongirl · 08/12/2013 10:46

Marking place as my 3 month old DD is the same! Gets inconsolable I think with overtired ness (and has a cold at the moment) and I'm at wits end, had a bit of a break down yesterday as she cried for about 3 hours nonstop and refused to sleep or be comforted eventually she fell asleep when in the car (desperate) and slept for over 2 hours. It's exhausting isn't it? I think 3 months is a growth spurt and wonder week too - not sure how much I believe in wonder weeks but it helps to have a reason, finding it hard to accept sometimes there isn't one!

Original poster

Kitkatinatin · 08/12/2013 11:22

Yes totally exhausting! We don't have car but resorted in late night pram ride last night (while I wrote original post). Agree with growth spurt and development steps around now probably making it worse. Hopefully we'll get there soon -4 weeks so far though :-( !

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RegainingUnconsciousness · 08/12/2013 12:39

Oh, the only think that worked for DS was to put him in the sling and walk, even just around the living room. At 2.5 it still works to put him in the carrier, he's guaranteed to drop off!

Can you try hiring a sling from a local sling library? When they're tiny, wrapping them skin to skin on your chest can work even better (something to do with regulating body temp, heart rate and breathing)

islingtongirl · 08/12/2013 12:41

I just want a happy baby! As I am sure you do! She is so much better when she has had proper naps, you get the feeling they really fight them don't you? And as a pp said the window to get them to nap before getting overtired seems tiny and I always seem to miss it ugh. I sympathise with the late night pram walking, i do that in the week of OH is working late. Gets a bit lonely

Madonna1987 · 08/12/2013 19:36

Our daughter did the same. She just always fought her sleep and can do now at 7 months (though not much) I have no idea why she did but she always did. It was incredibly streasful and upsetting at times as i saw other babies just nod off with ease. I too tried everything. I remember someone saying watch for the yawns (obvious i know) or eye rubbing and try and get them settled down in pram/ cot before crying begins. This did help me as i felt more in control. Swaddling her and shhing whilst rocking her in moses or pram helped. She got too hot being held. From 6 months it all changed and i have no clue why. Prob the solids and movig more, but she now goes down and self soothes to sleep. A miracle for her! And us! Good luck x

BarberryRicePud · 08/12/2013 19:43

May got help but if you still have a birth ball lots of babies love being cuddled while you bounce. Sends dd right off to sleep. Got to be a good hearty bounce though!

Original poster

Kitkatinatin · 09/12/2013 08:41

Thanks again. A few things to try here. I seem to get most frustrated after reading sleep advice in books as baby doesn't do what they say. At all. I need to chuck those books out!

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Melonbreath · 09/12/2013 20:10

Throw. The. God damned. Books. Away.

I second over tiredness, does he do it at roughly the same time each night? Or after being awake for a Certain length of time? If he does try pramming his ass 20 minutes before you expect fireworks or just after a feed or sitting in the dark quietly.

My sympathies. Dd was the same. At the first hint of purple under the eyes or slowness and she was whisked into the bath and into a dark room in the evenings. It did help after a while. Never managed the nap thing though, just walked about for miles in a state of semi coma.

I think they just discover that the world is interesting and sleep gets in the way of that.

Gerty1002 · 09/12/2013 21:41

My 3 month old DS is like this, must be quite common at this age - probably is just the world being so interesting, as a pp said.

Very frustrating, but good to know it's not something I'm doing wrong!

bordellosboheme · 09/12/2013 22:24

Can you feed to sleep with breast or bottle? Maybe that's what he's after to soothe him to sleep?

catellington · 09/12/2013 22:27

My dd sometimes cries inconsolably just before she drops off. Nothing will help so I just cuddle her and sing. Normally I feed to sleep but sometimes she'll stop and just start crying, I think it's when she had a particularly exciting day.

catellington · 09/12/2013 22:30

At the moment I also put on Michael buble christmas album and sing along to that, she nods off quite quickly then as a soon as she's able to hear through a gap in her crying!

cogitosum · 09/12/2013 22:32

Mine does this at 4 months. He only cries for a few mins before dropping off so I just hold him. It happens even in sling.

I'm comforted by knittinggirl's post as I definitely don't want to do any sort of controlled crying but bf, cuddles, sling he still does it!

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