Help I don't enjoy being a mummy

[lilycat]

Does anyone else feel that although you love your little one to bits, motherhood just isn't what you thought it would be? I seem to have become locked in a cycle of resenting the time when little one is awake and dreading him waking up. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and he constantly amazes be but I just don't feel good enough for him. He goes to nursery 2 days which he loves whilst I work (trying to run own business) and I would love to put him in more but can't afford it. We try to keep busy otherwise he gets very fractious but I worry that he feels my frustration and plays up. My concluding thought is best summed up by when other mums say its the best thing ever to be a mum, I just don't get it - help!

Sorry, wilbur, I didn't mean to make it sound as if I thought you were trying to suggest a second baby was the right thing to do! What I began to say just seemed to lead naturally to the second half of my post.

Lilycat, as you can see you are definitely not alone. Find my two unbelieveably hard work and I love them both to bits. I work part-time and find that the time I do have with them I enjoy much more than when I was with them all the time. Just because you are female and capable of giving birth, it does not automatically follow that you should suddenly turn into a play-doh, artwork, lego, barbie, trainset supremo!!!!
I feel I've got my balance just about right now. I work 4 shorter days per week and that gives me about the right time with my two terrors. Maybe you should try and see if you could readjust your balance?

Lilycat - totally sympathise and I am pg with my 3rd....it looks like I will also have to give up my p/t job so the thought of full time SAHMism fills me with dread. To be honest, I think its the boredom that gets me. Of course I love them, but its just its really quite boring.....or maybe thats just me. Anyway, you are not alone.

I find mixing with other mums a great help, but the trouble is a lot of them work at least p/time.

Lilycat, I hear you Girl. This is definitely one of those days when I seriously need a dose of tranquilisers just to put up with my two (preschoolers).

Lilycat,
believe me, I think most of us have felt the same way.

ds is 4 now, and spends quite a lot of time with childminder when not at pre-school. But upto finding that solution (forced on me by an injury that meant I couldn't look after him myself for a while) then I would have days when I would be in tears thru boredom and frustration, esp. in the winter when we couldn't think of anywhere to go where I could speak to adults, spent hours in the city shopping centre.

I did find summer better, and again an improvement when he could run round, feed himself, that sort of thing.

I still wonder if I'm ever going to be me again, and would love to get back the relationship I had with dh when we were just 2.

P.S. I adore my son, despite this, but wonder why no-one tells you what it's really like.

I love mumsnet - I am pg with number 2 and have days when I just sit and cry and wonder what the bloody hell I've done. DS is now 2.6 and we have a lovely relationship but up until the age of 1 I hated the whole mummy thing and I mean hated it. I had more bad than good days - I was not depressed (I have suffered from depression before and know what that is like) I jusy did not want to be a mum - I wanted my husband back, my sex life back, my personal time back and I resented the fact that ds had taken it away from me. However, when he hit one and started walking and communicating, things improved dramatically and have improved ever since. I now work 3 days a week in a job I love and he goes to nursery, I feel I have the right balance for me. I will be working for less than the nursery fees when number 2 comes along but to me it is worth it just to get out of the house. I am an older mum at 35 and had a selfish, extravagant lifestyle before kiddies and think that this made it harder to adjust. I don't think being a mum is the best thing that ever happened to me, passing my driving test was the best thing!! but each to his /her own - perhaps to some people it is the best thing ever and good luck to them, I genuinely admire people who want to stay at home and bring their children up - but it isn't for me.

Also know what you mean Lilycat. DS is just a little older than yours and goes to nursery 5 days a week. I feel bad about him being there but then feel bad about being stroppy when he's at home.

I tried being a playdough mum yesterday. Got annoyed with him for throwing it round the kitchen instead....

I think for me - I need to try and loosen up a bit and be more organised. I feel all under control and about to start playing with DS and being a "proper mummy" when silly things happen. Such as he opens the fridge (lock broke) and dropped a yoghurt all over the floor. Or dropped a massive pot of Swafega on the floor (was left in his reach).

Like others - I find it easier to deal with as he gets older (but then of course feel bad for wishing he'd grow up).

This afternoon got so angry at DS (4yo) I locked him out in the garden; found him on the front doorstep sometime later. I refused to speak to him for 20 minutes, but he also has been relatively cooperative since.
Must dash, need to mediate between them in the bath.

Zebra, it's not just me then.

Sometimes I get angry with my ds (aged 4) and I can't speak to him either. Trouble is he has my lack of patience, and bad temper, so we set each other off (I work VERY HARD at controlling mine, trying to teach him to control his).

Sometimes we must just sound like 2 kids arguing together.

We can have nice times playing together, but it often degenerates into unpleasantness

My dd, 16 months, has recently turned into a pain in the backside. EVERYTHING causes a screaming fit - changing nappies, feeding, going out, going in, etc etc etc. The only thing that works is me planning in advance what needs to be done and it taking 10 times longer. Very frustrating when you are not known for having much patience.

Think everyone has days like this. And I am pregnant with Number 2 as well Helsbels, gulp.

we'll be ok OO others have done it!! Also, it does get easier, my ds is a joy now - it's just the thought of going through that first year again that does my head in. Good luck, sweetie