Leaving a 2 week old? Feeling guilty- is this normal?

[BummyMummy77]

Not as in buggering off to the cinema but as in him being held by other people or being in his co sleeper quite a bit.

I just have this nagging feeling that it's wrong for him to be away from me and feel guilt to the point where I'm in tears when he's in his co sleeper or Dad has him for over an hour.

Is this just me being all mental and I should try to ignore it or is this perfectly normal and can I keep him close most of the time?

Ime it's quite normal. I remember feeling anxious if someone else was holding my babies, especially my first one. It's a mixture of instincts and hormones and if it's making you uncomfortable then of course you should keep him close. He's still only 2 weeks and as he gets older you will become more relaxed about other people holding him.

Perfectly normal, entirely correct and appropriate. He needs to bond with you and vice versa, it's very important for both of you. Hang on to him and don't let him go until you're comfortable with it. That said though, give his dad a chance to change nappies and so on otherwise he'll never get any good at it.

Very normal. When dd2 was that age we were going to take her next door to visit our lovely elderly neighbours, but I was feeling particularly hormonal and not very well as I had to have an emergency op for retained placenta so I didn't go. Dh took both the children next door and I said it was fine, then promptly burst into tears when they'd left the house and had a semi panic attack because my baby wasn't with me. They were gone for 10 minutes!

I think it's completely normal - and honestly, don't feel bad /guilty for feeling like it. My ds is 7 weeks now and I've spent significant time worrying about this since he was born (am I being possessive / are people judging me as a clingy or needy mum etc). End result is: your baby, your way. Only an idiot wouldn't support a new mum like this, and don't forget - you are quite literally his world. If you're worried, just imagine, pretty soon he's going to cry for you and only you when other people tire him out. Proof if ever it was needed

Ps my fil, without saying anything, walked out of eyeshot in a market just a few days ago, and just for 3 or 4 mins, and I felt the panic rising.

Totally normal I hated anyone holding dd in those first few weeks just didn't feel right I could not get comfortable with it for a while but eventually it was ok

Completely normal! My dd is 8 weeks and I still feel like this sometimes. At first it was so hard to let people hold her and I would get that anxious feeling even when she was in the pram and I didn't hold her for a while. The only thing that would calm it down was having a cuddle with her.

Mustard - I was in next with my mum today and she was pushing the pram. I turned around and she has wondered off and I couldn't see her. I went into full panic mode and got really snappy with her about it. I didn't mean to, but I did not like being in a busy place and not being able to see dd at all times. It's not nice at all!!

heff glad I'm not alone! Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be ok with it (staying away from us with grandparents for example seems so far beyond what I could cope with right now), but I guess it must come with time because every else does it. I guess eventually date night will return

Normal. It's such a precious time and these feelings can be so intense (who cares if they're "hormones", it doesn't make your experience if them any less real) that I made a decision to just go with them. DP could hold baby, but that was it until I stopped feeling bad if someone else had her.

You can never get this time back, the resentment that can arise from things like this us surprising, so just do what you feel like. Your baby, you are in control. An easy way out is the "It's time for a feed" and "No" if your FF and someone else offers to "help" by doing it (unless you want them to).

Completely normal! I miss my 6.5 month boy if he sleeps for a long time (when it rarely happens).

If you have time google 4th trimester - it's all about replicating the womb for first few months of baby's life. So keeping them close, limiting who holds them etc. Sounds like you're instinctively doing it.

Using a sling is a great way to keep them close and get a bit more mobile too.

Mustard - I'm exactly the same!! People keep offering to have dd to 'give me a break'. I feel like screaming at them that I don't want a flipping break, leave me and my baby alone! It's nice of them to offer because things have been difficult with dd being quite poorly, but I'm coping fine and don't want to have time away from my baby. I'm the same as Emma, I miss her if she sleeps for a long period!

Thanks so much everyone.

I kind of felt it was normal but pretty much everyone has been telling me it's not healthy to hold him too much and pil have even straight out told me I'm silly and spoiling him for not going to an Xmas fair this weekend I'd before expressed interest in.

It would mean being away from him for 5-7 hours (they've told me to pump) and quite honestly, if rather have my leg chopped off than do that right now!

As you say, it's not a break, a break would be someone c

Oops - a break would be someone cooking a meal or putting a load of washing on!

Oh, my own Mother told me "you're creating a monster" yesterday. He was two weeks yesterday! I hate to think what she did with me, probably put me in the garden for hours on end lol.

And I also got reliably told that mil breastfeed her now 26 year old daughter (who is unbearably clingy and a whiner) until she was nearly 6. May drop this into conversation the next time they start on me....

Creating a 2 week old monster?! I'd respond with ---->

Why don't you take him to the fair? Pop in sling and get out for feeds. It's not as daunting as it seems - I didn't do these sorts of things with my first but did with my second and realised it was pretty straight forward!

You'd need to express if you we're out for that long - sounds a bit of a faff! Baby only 2 weeks not twenty!

I also have a 2 week old and I feel the same. I cannot put her down she is so beautiful. I don't like being in a different room to her.
It's totally natural, mother nature's way of making sure your baby is safe and that you bond. They're babies for such a short time, just go with it and enjoy it. I am loving just indulging as we're unlikely to have another now (have a DS age 4) so I'm making the most of it! Xx

I couldn't express much until DS was about 8 weeks old. Certainly not enough to leave him for 5 hours. He was feeding about every half hour at 2 weeks old, which is natural, to get your supply up.

Your mum and MIL may have experience but their memory of when they did what will have faded. And every baby and every mother is different anyway.

Don't feel you have to justify yourself. Don't get drawn into a conversation about it. Just smile and nod and then do what you're comfortable with. Congrats on your new baby

Ooh, dm suggested to me that they'd take ds for an evening /night and I'd just express for them... Now, might just be me but expressing isn't, i think, something you tell someone else to do. Ie if you know I'm expressing /want to express then fine, but otherwise probably just leave it out. I did a test express just to try it out, felt a bit weird, he didn't want the bottle, and frankly seeing the bottle in his mouth made me feel sad. It's a personal thing I know, but seemed queer to me, to assume I'd be fine with that.

On a another more amusing front, dm was moments away from booking us on to the London Eye. I'm all for getting out, but 45 minutes without a 3 month old in a small glass box wish strangers...? maybe not

Oh just hold him .

One regret I had with DC1 is that I didn't just hold him for the sake of it. I used to sit on the sofa watching him sleep in his bouncy chair wanting to cuddle him just because. I had read you can spoil babies if you hold them too much .