You are very brave posting this - I'm sure you'll get some very strong views.
Personally, I do not smack and never will! I was smacked and so was my DH and we both agree that although our parents were overall good and loving parents, these smacks have effected us in someway or another or we still have vivid memories of a smack.
Although, I'm sure we can all relate as parents to that moment in time we are over stressed and at a loss of how to deal with a certain situation. 'Shock tactics' such as smacking in my eyes are unacceptable. If we get to the that point we really need to step back, step out, take a moment, breathe, think.
I think it is unfair to the child, sends the wrong messages and it is unfair to other families who do not smack. I have been in situations where a child has hit the parent and the parent has smacked them and said do not hit! (How can we teach our children not to hit or hurt others if we do it to them!?)
If we as adults spend our time researching and practicing with our children which punishments and consequences and reward systems for our children work best then it teaches our children how to deal with situations calmly and properly, consequences of bad behaviour (constructive consequences), rewards for good behaviour, how to control our own anger, how to respect others, how hitting is not nice.
Smacking does none of this, like you said it is a shock tactic. A quick fix. When I say it is unfair to other families who do not smack, I say this because I've been in way too many awkward and painful situations where a parent has lost their patience and hit their child in front of us. My child then stands there stunned and confused and I have to then deal with explaining to them why the parent did this. (which is sad because my child then thinks his friend doesn't have a nice mummy/daddy - they see things very literally and differently to us!)
Sadly almost, it may not be traumatic for the smackee as they must be used to it, but in my view, if it causes shock it must cause a mini trauma or it wouldn't be a shock would it! It certainly does cause a mini trauma for my son who witnesses parents doing this to their small children. It is illegal if you make a mark on your child and the mark stays for a certain amount of time ( I don't understand how this works though because I do not believe a smacker would time how long a mark takes to fade and then hand themselves into the police!)
This is my view, and I have family members who smack! I do really hate it and it does make me feel physically sick. I just think there are so many different ways which are more effective that can teach our children about behaviours and consequences more positively. It just means more time and effort! Each to there own I suppose, but I beg you do not do it in front of other families - it can really be an upsetting or strange experience for those children who have never experienced it.
X