Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Where do you go when you need parenting help?

10 replies

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 03/12/2013 20:00

I've had good advice here in the past, but finding it a bit too judgemental at times and feeling too fragile for that right now.

But where else to turn? HV here is worse than useless. GP not interested. I need someone with knowledge to talk things through with.

I don't even know what I want, as you can probably tell from this garbled rant.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Roundles · 03/12/2013 20:09

Do you have a Children's Centre near you? You can normally just walk in and chat to staff about anything and that are always knowledgable.

Not everyone on here judges, promise!

LynetteScavo · 03/12/2013 20:13

Is you child school age? Could the school point you in the direction of a parenting course?

We're not all judged..... What are you struggling with?

purrtrillpadpadpad · 03/12/2013 20:17

Just as a side note, I find when posters end their posts with an honest request for kindness, no judging etc, responders are generally just a lot nicer, less snarky etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 04/12/2013 06:53

Thanks. I don't know where to start really.

Shame our Children's centre isn't useful at all. The only advice I ever get there is how good the HV assistant's DC are at eating, and how amazing the breastfeeding counsellor's grandchildren are. Lovely that they're so proud, but there's a time and a place for sharing that! Not much faith in them now I'm afraid.

I'm very tired. That doesn't help.

I seem to spend all my time trying to occupy the children while I do chores (not to have a perfect house - just to have one that you can live in). I work part time. The children's nanny has a lovely time with them (they're better in the mornings), then I come home and it's just horrible.

When I try to do nice things with them (a Christmas fair yesterday), it just results in tantrums and screaming (mostly DD, DS is 17 months). She hit me yesterday (not the first time).

Eating is a nightmare. They're obsessed with food. Sweet food, of course. I've always tried to take a middle ground with it - not puddings everyday but sometimes, occasional small sweets, a cake if we're out perhaps. But they talk about nothing else. Hitting me is ALWAYS food related.

Have spoken to GP and HV about food - they say we're doing fine.

I should be better at this. I'm a very experienced teacher, mostly of young children with behaviour difficulties. But I'm a rubbish parent!

I've read all the books (literally, I think!).

TV is creeping in and taking over. Well, iplayer - we don't have tv as such. Even DS is not only demanding which programme he wants, but which particular episode, he must watch so much!

That's all for now. I'd better start breakfast (up since 5.30 with DS but DD had a lie in!).

OP posts:
cravingcake · 04/12/2013 07:10

Please give yourself a break, you are not rubbish at this parenting thing.

I would suggest breaking things down and focus on tryin to improve one thing at a time. Regarding tv, one way could be to say DC you choose one episode/programme to watch while mummy tidys the kitchen and then we are going to do some colouring/lego together as an example. I personally let my DS watch far too much but i'm 32 weeks pregnant and am seriously lacking in energy some days.

Is it possible to ask your childcare to watch the kids for an extra couple of hours one day a week and you can catchup on housework then? This may help you feel better and able to relax with the kids. If you are stressed they will pick up on it. Lack of sleep really does make things seem worse.

Peppa33 · 04/12/2013 14:34

I reread my naomi stadlen books, not for advice but for perspective and understanding...have you got them?

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 04/12/2013 17:07

Is that 'what mothers do'? Is there another book? Thanks for your thoughts and kindness.

OP posts:
Peppa33 · 04/12/2013 18:33

There is a sequel, how mothers love (or something similar). Similar to first one but some extra themes and a section on having a second child...
I wish NS lived near me,i would love to go to her group.

TheArmadillo · 04/12/2013 18:38

I found a book someone recommended on here to be useful - it is more about being a parent than the children IYSWIM. Will look it up and do a link.

Another thing I would say is take care of yourself and make sure you're not setting yourself too high standards. You don't need to be perfect, just good enough. Nothing you've put sounds terrible.

TheArmadillo · 04/12/2013 18:41

www.amazon.co.uk/Parenting-Inside-Out-Self-understanding-Children-ebook/dp/B000OCXHQ8/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386182350&sr=1-2&keywords=parenting+from+the+inside+out

It helped me with why I felt like I did, parenting triggers and similar. When my anxiety disorder was worse I really struggled.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page