Winter germs!!!

[Saundi291212]

Hello all,

I would like some honest opinions from you all. I have suffered from a fear of being sick for over 10 years and i now have an obsession with washing my hands and anti bacing everything!! When I was pregnant I was determined not to let fear rub off on my baby. Now my son is 11 months old and crawling everywhere and putting everything in his mouth....I am ok with him doing that at home as I know everything is clean. However I am so scared to take him to baby groups as am terrified he will get sick! And I make everyone wash their hands before they touch him. As it's winter and there's so many nasty bugs going around, am I being over the top or just sensible trying to protect my son?! Help!

As many posters are probably about to tell you, babies NEED to do this to build up their immunity, it's another part of their biological development

Think of it this way as your baby is designed to develop a healthy nervous system & healthy immune system and the best way to do this is to be exposed in a regular way to such everyday aspects of life. There is no way to prevent their exposure to germs unless you want to lose out on the enjoyment of getting out & about /sharing public spaces with your baby

Ok thank you. I know your right that's the thing, my heart is telling me I WANT and NEED to go out and let my son interact with other babies but my head is just telling me germs and if I take him to a play group he will get a big and it'll be my fault . But I have to get over it for the sake of my baby. All of my family tell me I need to get over it too!
Thank you for your reply.

It's not easy though, I completely see where you're coming from

Can you start by going to visit a friend's house? If they have a child similar age even better. It wont be quite as daunting as going to a group with loads of kids, and potentially more germs.

Unfortunately getting a bug or a cold is going to happen, its not the worst thing in the world and calpol is brilliant. It can be worse sometimes if they dont get exposed to these things as children (i.e chicken pox can be very serious for adults who havent had it).

Thank you for your replies . Yes I do see my friends with their babies nearly every other day of the week...as I know that if they were ever ill my friends would tell me and wouldn't subject my son so any potential illnesses.
So, I know I can't keep him in a bubble and it's inevitable he will get a sickness bug...is it really awful? How long does it last and do you think it's horrible for them?! It must be... Do they carry on playing etc or become lethargic? Sorry lots of questions just need to know what to expect. Because of of phobia and hand washing I luckily haven't been sick for over 10 years!

Have you tried to get some help Saundi? Hypnotherapy, CBT, counselling?

Kids get ill. He will at some point get d&v and almost certainly you'll catch it from him too. I'm sorry, I'm not saying this to be mean, but because you need to accept it's going to happen at some point. It could last 24 hours or a week. Mostly d&v bugs last a day or two. DS had norovirus at 18m and vomited for a week.

In your position, and I'm not in anyway belittling your phobia, I'd say you need to really work on this now, or if you've already tried then maybe consider your options of what you'll do if he does get sick - could DP or DGP help?

When he goes to nursery/preschool he'll be coming home with all sorts of interesting illnesses!

Yes, I know. It's so frustrating to live with. So I've actually got in contact with a hypnotherapist so fingers crossed that will work.

Oh and forgot to add, of course I'll be able to look after him, I'll give him lots of tlc!! ??
I just couldn't look after my husband if he was sick!!!

Do you have a fear of illness or being sick?

I had/have a fear of being sick. I saw a counseller and i'm alot better now. I still hate the idea of being sick but doesnt everyone? Im sure no one loves the idea! Haha.

I do love my dettol and anything anti bacterial but i think that is just me!

I don't have a fear of colds/flu I just hate the idea of feeling sick and being sick. Stops me from doing a lot of everyday life things in case I'm sick in public, so maybe it's an embarrassment issue.
Yes dettol and Milton are my best friends!

To answer one question, generally when small children are unwell the first signs can be they get whingy, tired more easily, going off food, cry at little things that normally don't bother them. Every child is different, my DS currently has hand foot & mouth and is running about like his usual self, just a bit more irritable. My friends DS had this a few weeks back and he was sleepy, lethargic and spent a couple of days just snuggling on the sofa (and we didn't catch it from him). It wont take you long to learn what your DC will be like, they just wont be themself if that makes sense.

On a slightly different note, I have had hypnosis in the past and it was the best thing I ever did. Only advice I can really give is to trust your therapist fully and you should see results fairly quickly. Good luck and well done.

Germs are a normal part of life, accept it for his benefit or it may cause health problems, obviously some germs you dont want, but most help keep up the bodies defenses. Its a good measure to always keep hands clean though, you dont wanna attract too much!