Hi everyone, I would like to open a discussion on sexting.
I have noticed that this section isn't viewed very often so I shall be posting a similar post on other sections on MN.
It was anti-bullying week last week and the sixth form at my dd's school were very pro active on the subject of bullying and most of the staff wore anti bullying t-shirts. But to my horror they didn't cover the subject of sexting, which according to many organizations comes under the heading of bullying but I think it should also be covered by internet safety as well as some others.
As parents, how many of you are REALLY AWARE of what sexting is???
In it's most basic form it is our children sending picture messages, or "selfies" to other people (or webcam pics). In it's most harmful form it's adults, posing as children getting our children to send explicit pictures of themselves. The later being a parents worst nightmare and what we all try to protect our children from. Fortunatly most of us will never have to encounter the later form because we constantly tell our children about people pretending to be children and not to share any personal info with these stranger because you don't know who they could be as they are hiding behind a computer screen. But the most common form, the one we are most likely to come across is when our (mostly) young teens send picture to each other! No not, nasty peodophiles preying on inoccent kids but other kids.
Sexting is becoming more and more common amongst our youngsters yet unless you specifically search for information on this subject there seems to be little information for parent and even less appropriate info for our children. Now I don't know about you guys but I don't spend my time looking on the NSPCC web site for updates on potential threats to my kids? But I do keep an eye on news and I don't seem to remember seeing much about this subject, I would like to have it rammed down my throat until I'm sick of hearing about it! The NSPCC do have an app and a campaign but I only found out about it because I went looking.
This is a bit of a personal crusade for me and I shall give you a very brief outline of why. My dd, then 13, became a victim of sexting. She met a young man (same age). He gave it all the flannel about I love you ect and if you loved me you would send me explicit pictures of yourself, when she declined he told her he would use pictures of other girls he had and tell everyone they were her. Against her better judgment she finally gave in and sent pictures. He then used these images to blackmail her into sexual acts which he filmed (without her knowledge) and then used this against her. She was in a very bad place by this time and I had noticed a change in her so we had a talk and it all came out. We agreed she would not see the young man again so he retaliated and let's just say the pics and video went viral and everyone knew!! We contacted the police to which we had very mixed messages, one officer telling us the lad would be arrested and basically have the proverbial book thrown at him to another officer saying that our dd would be prosecuted for sending the images. Finally we got it sorted, the police visited him and made him delete the images and he was served with a no contact order. Sadly the damage was already done. The result was that the school refused to help, she was attacked at school because she was clearly a slag and a slut and deserved all she got! We were visited by social services because we contacted the police! And she felt so bad she suffered from depression. She self harmed and had feelings towards ending her life. The knock on effect on our family unit was awful and the upshot was that we sold up and moved away. She has missed out on a year of schooling but has now settled in a new school and is doing well. She has had to delete her whole life prior to our move so that her new friends don't find out but with the way social media is we can't be sure that no one will ever find out. It has been my dd that has prompted this crusade. She has come home from school and has told me that this is happening all around her, boys soliciting the images and girls supplying them. They are then shared!!
I would like for our experience to help others, children as well as parents.
The legal side is that it is illegal to hold explicit images of any one under the age of 18. It is also illegal to send explicit images of yourself or others. By my reckoning this makes at least 50 per cent of our teenage population criminals. What's more if they were to be convicted they would be sex offenders and could be placed on the sex offenders register, their life already over! The likely hood of a prosecution taking place is very slim but is still the legal angle. I would hate for my dd to have been prosecuted and not all the boys who are asking for theses images are as bad as the one my daughter encountered and although I would have liked to see him get what he deserved he was just a child and I believe in karma!These kids are just exploring their sexuality but are using the mediums available to them ie camera phones, web cams. They seem to have the view that because they take the pictures in private on THEIR device and send it to one person on their private device, that no one else will see them.
I think there should be a pro active campaign to educate the younger generation about the hazards. Some of the stuff I've found is a little childish for our teens, purely telling them not to do it. This isn't enough, nor is it enough to tell them that it's illegal. We've all been there, caving in to peer pressure. Smoking, drinking even trying drugs and I'm sure I wasn't prepared to listened to some do gooder telling me it was illegal and bad for you.
I would really love to hear from parents who have encountered sexting and parents who knew nothing about this. I would also like to hear from you if you have any good ideas as to how would be the best way to address this issue.
Please don't bother with the negative comments, it's water off a ducks back. You can't say anything about my parenting skill that I haven't thought about them myself, we've been to hell and back and just want to help others. You will not get a response from me to negative comments. Good discussion points only.
Thanks for reading.