Top tips for dreaded baby group integration!

[cupcake78]

I need to go to more groups. I've found a couple I like and am reasonably ok to go to. Each week its a bit of a push to get me there tbh.

I hate those first few weeks of knowing nobody. I need tips!

Sit next to someone with a similar aged baby. Ask how old they are and take it from there.

FWIW I found baby groups hard work.

Ask LOTS of questions about their baby. Quite dull at first, but really everyone loves to talk about themselves.

If you have people you chat to ok at one group, could you maybe ask them to come along to a different group with you too?

Volunteer to help - every one needs helpers and it's a total ice breaker. You can offer to join the committee or just hand out tea or coffee etc.

I have always took the view that I am there for my baby. I am friendly and approachable and not really ever had any problems but I dont get upset if the cliqey mums refuse to speak to me. In the past ive spoken to the newer mums. Just ignore the cliques do your own thing and look out for the newer mums who are in the same boat as you.

I hated them and never went. You don't need to go if you don't want to!

bring a book or magazine. If your attempts to make conversation fall flat, you don't have to sit there awkwardly like a lemon.

Well I'd start by dropping the idea that everyone is cliquey or has an attitude.....

Basically it's repetition. The more they see you the better it is. That's all. No secret , just stamina at first.

Yep agreed. It's generally just repetition. Go to the same one all the time and you will make friends. I go to loads ans know lots of mums and babies as a result. there were a couple full of very close knit NCT girls, but even then everyone is tired, craving grown up chat and reassurance! You will probs get to know the baby's names first as you hear other mums talk to their children. After a few weeks you can say something like "I love tabitha's cardigan, is it baby Zara?" That kind of thing. Ask them for tips...people love to share their wisdom! Play with their children when they wander over and say things like "hello, this is my baby Chloe (or whatever). Aren't you so very cute?"

I asked other people lots of questions about their dc and I always made an effort to talk to new people or people sat by themselves

Another vote for talking to the other children, good way to break the ice with their mums

Make sure you have conversation starters lined up. Things like what a pretty babygrow! Did she have lots of lovely hair when she was born? What a great smile!

Offer help, if a mum is struggling to get a babywipe out of her bag whilst breastfeeding offer one of yours, offer to hold a baby if a mum has twins or toddler+baby.

Never ask development questions "oh she is 6 months, is she sitting?"

Some people might seem rude if they are dashing away from a conversation to stop their newly walking toddler from sitting on a small baby I'm looking at you ds or if they seem distant if their baby is grizzling, remeber that there will be varying levels of sleep deprivation, the chances are some of the women are dealing with pnd, pain after the birth, worries about their child's health/development so if you do encounter people who are seemingly socially inept don't assume they are just a bitch or that they dislike you.

Have fun, I love them! We go to 2 a day as my monkey baby needs tiring out entertaining.

I went to stacks of stuff just to get out of the house while I was on maternity leave, I didn't find anyone cliquey/rude/unfriendly. Most people looked knackered and were only too ready to share a grumble about lack of sleep, screaming tantrums etc. I did a mix of classes and more traditional baby groups so didn't have to chat lots at every one of them.

If you've got a non sleeping baby that needs lots of stimulation it can be much better than staying home. My local childrens centre was a lifeline to be honest.