Children alone while parents sleep?

[Mumof3xx]

When is this ok? What age?

Op I would say you are being overprotective, if you have 3 children (going by your name) how on earth do you supervise all 3 of them all the time ?!

I don't supervise them all all the time

I just feel bring in another room washing up etc is different to being fast asleep!

Well if you were looking for 'oh god no .. Report it to the social services' it seems you're going to be sadly disappointed..

If you know the child/parents or their circumstances is there anything you can do to maybe help them? I'd love someone to offer to take/pick up DS from school (wistful sigh) it'd just be nice not to have to wake dd for a feed an hour before or risk her screeching in the buggy through the whole school run

Is there a difference between a parent sleeping while a child plays at 3am and a parent sleeping while a child plays at 8am?

Should a parent always be awake if the child is awake, even if the child is content to be alone for a while.

Why would you mention SS are you
planning on reporting them? Very strange post.

Last year when I was pg I had terrible spd which kept me awake and I had to have afternoon naps. I deemed that without them I was more dangerous to DS, then aged four. He would naturally stay in the lounge and either play with his Lego or (very cutely) come onto the sofa and hug me and nap with me.

Wasn't my proudest moment of parenting but I weighed up the situation and deemed it to be acceptable.

Isn't that what parenting always is? There are always going to be moments when you have to loosen the reins a little as they gain their independence and that's a judgment call for the parents.

I'd be extremely reticent to get involved esp if this has already been happening and nothing untoward has happened.

DS at that age woke me regularly to take Lego pieces apart so could have done so if he really needed me, I suspect id have woken to a cry in the same room as me and anything else is no different to me being busy in another room.

Since DD1 started school we don't have this issue, as on weekends she's with her dad so if the baby is sleeping in we get a lie in.

But before that, from about age 3 on, she would get the tv on downstairs and get her cereal, and she would sit and play with her toys while we had a lie in.

I don't see the problem really. Now at 4 almost 5 she is really quite sensible. If this is all you have a concern about then you need to drop it.

My son currently prefers to writ for a parent to be awake to go downstairs but will happily play in his room until that happens. I would have no problem with him going downstairs on his own, though.

He's 4.

No I was certainly not thinking of reporting them!

Ss have been involved previously due to issues of domestic violence

I was just asking really as it wasn't something I myself had ever considered doing!

My children have been allowed downstairs in the mornings by themselves since they were about 2. I am a childminder so my house is probably more child friendly than most. They're very sensible and I've only very rarely come downstairs to any chaos!

Clearly you don't have very early risers OP. After 3 years of getting up at 5am I started telling ds he could play in his room until it was time to get up. He's been doing that for 2 years. He does'nt go downstairs just does jigsaws or looks at books while I doze. He pops in every 20 mins or so to 'check if it's time to get up yet' so there's no chance of me going into a deep sleep. I wasn't aware this was a child welfare issue.

I don't think it's ideal, but I wouldn't have a problem if my DS (aged 4) went downstairs an hour or so before us on the weekend (in fact, I'd love it

Sadly, he always comes to get us up (although usually DH goes as I play the 'what if the baby wakes and needs fed?' card (we both know that's rubbish, but he lets me away with it).

Anyone know when they want to start going downstairs by themselves...?

So how do you know for sure that your own child is not awake when you are asleep during the night or in the small hours of the morning?

Or do you just never sleep when there is a child in the house?

I think from about 3 or 4 is fine to be playing in their bedrooms for a while alone as long as you know they are up and can hear them.

i usually take a blanket down to the couch and doze a bit rather than stayi g in bed.

neighbours 4 year old daughter often plays in the street in her pyjamas while parents are in bed. that's taking it a bit far i think

Drip drip, OP.

I have very early risers!

Dd wakes about 530 and that's her awake til about 10am. Older dc are always up by 7.

Maybe it's something I've never done as even before dd was born I had a three year old demanding I make porridge!

I wasn't suggesting it was neglect or a matter for social services I was clearly trying to find out the norm and what was considered acceptable

Social services would probably FIND a problem with it or make it a problem but then it's their job to be interfering overly cautious

But then most things that parents do to cope could be twisted to look like the worst. parenting. ever.

I would leave this well alone unless they were left all day no food playing with knives or something

From what I understand, you are asking if it is okay if you leave your child in his room alone (awake, playing perhaps?) while you go into your bedroom to take a 30 minute nap, right?

Yes, if your child is at least 5 years old.
Otherwise, No!

My 3 year old plays for up to an hour in his room most mornings, is that not ok then?

I'm actually quite surprised by this thread as it had never even begun to cross the outer reaches of my consciousness that this might not be OK!! When we just had one DD she would come and wake us up and bounce on our bed as bored out of her mind on her own. Once she was 3 and DD2 was 1 (and they shared a room), they tended not to bother us too much in the mornings and would play together (DD1 would often get in DD2's cot and give her her soft toys etc), DD1 would cry to get out so I might hop out of bed and get her out of her cot then go back to bed for a bit (I was tired / pg with DS) and they would play together. At that stage I had a stair gate over the stairs so they couldn't fall down but otherwise left them to it - their bedroom was safe and childproofed. When they were 5, 3 & 1 we moved to a different house for a short time where the children all slept upstairs, and had a playroom section upstairs and our bedroom was downstairs, in the mornings they would play happily together and rarely come and get us.

We have a large garden with a steam in it and although I fenced off the section with the stream for a bit all 3 would go off and play together out of sight from when DS was still only 2-3ish.

Now they are 8, 6 and 4. On the weekends we always have a bit of a lie in (say 8.30 / 9am) and the children play together in their rooms having usually woken at 7ish. We have a rule that they are not to go downstairs until we get up. If it gets towards 9am they will usually come and get us and pile into bed for a cuddle and persuade us to get up as they start to get hungry! The stream is no longer fenced off and they all play outside for hours (including the 4 year old) without me, which includes going into the field to feed the goats, doing the gardening, climbing trees, building dams (it really is only a little stream), why on earth would they want me there!

There was a case I remember where a mum left her 2yo on his own while she was having a long lie in, the little boy was so thirsty he drank something poisonous and died obv in these circumstances yes very wrong to leave a very young child unattended and this is neglect.

Leaving an older child to play quietly in their room for a bit is not the same thing.