Health anxiety baby

[Bluebella]

Tonight I was invited over to an aquaintences house with my 5 year old and 4 month old baby. I am quite particular about cleaniness, and to put it mildly the house was not the cleanest I had seen. I was coping ok (suffer from anxiety) but then I saw an open cat litter box by the door with old poo in it. That concerned me, especially when kids ball landed it it! Then the mum just gave it back to the kids. I made my son wash his hands and anti bac when come in. Then i was helping my son with his dinner and had baby on hip. The mum was smiling at baby etc...then I was glancing between my son and baby and the next thing i know she has her finger in my babies mouth!!! I very quickly pulled away as not even I put my finger in babies mouth. Now i am really so so worries that my baby has caught something nasty. I am worryimg about all sorts of things and have been hysterical for last hour. Am i over reacting? Do you think baby will be ok? I am not worried about him catxhing a cold but sometjlhing more serious. Can anyone help my anxieties? (((

Baby will be fine try not to worry .

I am not too fussed about a bit of mess in houses etc, however .. I absolutely hate hate hate it when people put their hands In a babies mouth! My FIL did it once when my dd was a baby and I told him to get his hands out and would he like me to put my fingers in his mouth??

But baby will be fine , next time speak up, even if it is in a joke sort of way but the person will know you are serious without confrontation

Totally overreacting. Deep breaths. Your boys will be fine.

Uncovered cat litter trays are yucky, but the chance of catching serious bugs from them are small. The ball landing in it isn't much worse than it landing on the ground outside where countless cats could have peed or pooed.

People sticking fingers in a baby's mouth is also yuck, but some people do seem to keep doing it. In a month or so he'll be putting all sorts in his mouth anyway so I really wouldn't worry.

Your boys will do much more grim and yucky things as they grow up!

I mean this kindly but you may want to consider getting some help with this. Most people mind tell a friend and say, you'll never believe what happened at so and so's, but to be hysterical about it is not a normal response IMHO.

The human body is designed to cope very well with most of the bugs we're exposed to. More deep breaths.

I think you need to talk to someone. What happens when your child goes to preschool/school etc? You won't be able to control the germ exposure.

Oh thank you so much for taking the time to write. You are all giving me a bit of a reality check that I need right now. Have sufferred terribly with anxiety in both pregnancies ( funnily enough mostly regarding toxoplasmosis which is why it triubled me so much about the cat litter tray).
This is first panic since new baby born in july. I just so terrified he has caught sone terrible thing....i love him so much. I just dont undersrand why she did it. I
Thank you x

Eventually (fairly soon, actually) your baby will be out there playing on the ground in the park, then in the preschool/school playground where you can't see him, then out with his mates. Toddlers and younger children need to develop naturally by trying things out and taking a few risks. And they have truly disgusting habits!

It may be that your fears will subside naturally during this development: bizarrely, some people worry less when they have less control over events (I'm one of them).

But if they don't you may want to look at treatment.

When db was a baby, they lived with his grandmother who was also suffering badly from health anxiety. In the end (so MIL has told me) they had to move out because she noticed her eldest son (who was about 5) was becoming anxious and withdrawn: the constant fussing and worrying was getting in the way of his development. So just keep an eye out as he gets older, in case you do find you aren't letting him do any of the things his mates does or worrying unduly about normal things like playschools and parties; if that happens, you will need help.

Sorry, missed that you already have an older child. How are you coping with that?

Hi. I have been quite okay for months. But put me in certain situations and it triggers off. I am still really feeling so worried. My anxities are really high. I am so worried baby has caught something. He had a temperature of 37.5 this morning. I keep thinking he has caught something terrible.

37.5 is actually within normal limits.

It's impossible for him to have contracted and be manifesting an illness that fast.

You're more likely to get toxoplasma contamination from unwashed salad that cat litter trays.

You're anxieties are high because you're not well OP. This isn't normal. Please consider a trip to the doctor (very kindly meant).

Thank you. I just took him to the doctors. And she said he looks fine. But she cant tell if hes caught anything. My main concerns are not if he caught a cold for example but what if she had HIV or some other disease and she had a cut on her finger. Or if the cat feaces did have toxoplasma she may have had it in her hands. I have done much research into toxoplasmosos I know its unlikely. I really am in a state. I am thinking of straight out asking her, if she did put her finger in. From my memory i think she did, but she definitely had her finger righy by his mouth and I think in it.

precautions against toxoplasmosis in pregnancy are sensible, but your last irrational post shows you've got likely mental health issues. No shame, not your fault, but you MUST get help and get treated. Your kids need you well and non-anxious.

good luck.
that said, who puts fingers in a baby's mouth? Why???

I know I do have health anxiety :( but i have been so so happy and fine since july. So do you honestly think baby wont have caught anything? The worrying thing is, hes grouchy today and doesnt seem himself plus has a cold.... i am debating to just ask her. Maybe she didnt do it, maybe I thought she did. She did definitely have her finger right on his mouth. Perhaps it didnt go in? Perhaps I just saw that and thought it was right in. I pulled baby away so quickly.

I could tell you the risk is negligible til I'm blue in the face. You won't hear it because your illness is making you irrational.

It's not nice when people out fingers in a babies mouth, granted. They might get a tummy upset if the hands weren't washed. The chances of your baby contracting a serious disease are beyond ridiculous.

Deep breaths OP and get some help. Your baby will be FINE.

Thank you. X

I am hoping as the days go by it will fade away, the worry....

Hi Bluebella, just wanted to hop in and ask you gently if you could find it in yourself to have a chat with your GP about your anxiety, if you haven't already?

You're catastrophizing (yep, real word, honest) and it can be very hard to stop this habit. I used to do it a lot myself; still do when I'm tired and things get the better of me.

Your anxiety is stopping you relaxing and enjoying your life to the full. However, there are lots of tools you can learn to help with it; CBT, self-hypnosis, relaxation techniques etc.

As you've experienced, your anxiety can fade away for a while, but it tends to pop back up again when something triggers it. If you have a toolbox of tips and tricks to hand, next time it pops up you'll be able to get a handle on it really quickly and won't have to have that worry time that made you feel hysterical.

Please sweetheart, make life a little easier for yourself by asking your GP for some support.

I used to have health anxie just like you. I had cbt and worked pretty hard and its all gone. I had one sort of reoccurrence in July when my baby picked up a cigarette butt which was stained with red (lipstick I imagine). I worried it was blood and she had caught HIV! The oy way I got through it and back to rationality was to literally not think of it. Distract myself and every time it came to my head to think of something else. It's hard- like not scratching a bite or something, but it worked. Within the hour it was gone from my head. Please get help, if u don't sort out a coping method this health anxiety will always come back at some point x x

Thanks for replies. So do you all think that this is more my Health Anxiety rather than a real risk? Should I just be not worried about it?x

I did have a telephone CBT course a few years ago.

I think you have a phobia and are not seeing this situation rationally. Personally I wouldn't worry at all about finger in mouth but would have asked the mum to put the tray with the cat shit in it outside the door, that is not acceptable. If this were me I wouldn't be giving it a second thought.

Thank you. I am beginning to feel slightly morr rational about it all. Baby has come down with a stinking cold today though and I cant help thinking its related but not sure if a cold would manifest that quickly. Xx