How can we stop toddler DS throwing toys?

[nightowlmostly]

I know there is a similar thread about this in AIBU, but I wanted to start my own because the circumstances, age etc are slightly different.

My 19 month old DS has started throwing stuff, a lot. I've tried taking the toys away, but he barely notices as he just chucks them over his shoulder then carries on playing with other things. He does understand 'no' but sometimes won't listen! I just don't know how much we can expect of him at this age, he's our first.

It's not always a problem at home, but I'm worried about him doing it at playgroups or soft play. And the latest thing is he's started throwing stuff at our cats, which isn't good either. I started a thread recently about being worried that he'd get attacked by them, but it turns out it's the other way around!

If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it, I really want him to behave well and want to do the right thing to teach him how!

Some children (looks like your DS falls in this category) display something called a 'schema' or 'schematic play' in which they repeat the same action over, over, over again to great satisfaction! THere is a schematic play category called 'trajectory'. You can give him things to push (trains, cars) pull (pull along dog), pour (tea set, play with water or sand), draw lines (a megasketcher is good for that age). Search it online and you will find lots of ideas on how to 'satisfy' his behaviour, it's competely normal for some children to go through that phase of development.

Having said that, he needs to learn that it's not a good behaviour to throw hard toys because the toy will break and/or he will hit another child! You can also show him to roll balls on the floor instead of throwing them. If he throws things out of frustration then it's not a schematic play as much as frustration and that needs to be managed differently (ie find the cause of the frustration and deal with behaviour).

Thanks for replying, sorry I've been late back, I had to go out for the day.

I do t think he's really frustrated, so the first explanation sounds interesting. I'll look into that and get some other things for him to do!

We've started being more strict with taking toys away, hopefully he'll respond to that.

DS was throwing all the time I took his toys off him when he done it which tbh didn't work very well until a few weeks ago he's almost 22 mo and started about 19.

I noticed I throw a lot of things which he was picking up on for example tidying his room throwing his teddys on his bed, throwing the mega bloks into the bag, throwing toys up on the sofa to hover I had no idea I done it until speaking to my mum about DS throwing DN (6) pipes up but u do it all the time and rhymes off the examples above

That's interesting Lola, that's something to think about! He's been a bit better today, so maybe there's not too much to worry about.

Throwing toys is a phase and it is part of their spatial development/ hand/eye co ordination, learning about how to throw, weight, satisfying noise things make or not if you stop him:)

I remember grumbling about ds doing it and googling it in despair.

Get a waste paper basket and make it a game. Let him throw in the bath, with flannels, sponges, soft and hard small bath toys as well. Teach him not to throw at people or animals, and not to throw and break stuff. He will grow out it..

My 23minth old is a thrower- I found he is less likely to do it if made to pick up what he has thrown.
For example his juice cup, instead of me picking it up, I tell him it's not nice to throw, and walk him over and ask him to pick it up and give it to me nicely.
And while he's drinking i remind him that when hernia finished he should hand his cup to me or put on the table, and most of the time he does now.

But I feel your pain, it's a frustrating stage!

We're having a nightmare with this, and have been for months now. Ds (2.3yo) deals with frustration by throwing, trashing or swiping whatever is in the near vicinity :(
We too ask him to (help) clear up what he's thrown, and it really presses my buttons when he throws, especially his food. I've started to wonder whether he's getting too much (negative) attention for it so we're going to try ignoring it (unless he's throwing breakable/dangerous things) at home and praising him for clearing up.

I'd be interested in any magic solutions though!

Misty, sounds like he is throwing food for attention, the little scamp. Do you eat with him or does he sit in the chair and eat whilst you potter about? You could try sitting with him and this is what I have done.

I would put it down in front on him and say " here you are x, eat up nicely." Then when he has eaten a bit and starts to fiddle and get ready to throw, say nicely " don't throw food x, have you finished as I will take it away"
If he throws, remove it. He can have one chance if you feel mean, but that's it. Down you get! Be very nice and don't labour your point.

Leave it for for about 20-30 mins after the yelling has stopped, maybe play a game or read a story for a while and say " ooh, snack time!" And get some cake or whatever and do it all over again. Same warning.

The food throwing is different from throwing toys to see how good he is at throwing, iyswim, IMO.

Thanks lavender - we all eat together (except when dh gives me a lie in so I have breakfast later, but then ds has "second breakfast" with me!) and it's more the swiping of dishes etc than throwing actual food. He often throws his cutlery, but we do have a one strike and you're out rule. It's difficult as he's a fussy eater too, so we like him to eat as much as possible! I lost my rag with him earlier, but it just makes him throw more so that doesn't help! Must keep calm, must keep calm.,.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP