How do you get two children to bed?

[Wincher]

Ds1 is 3.4 and ds2 is 11 weeks.ds2 is suddenly starting to go to bed in the evenings rather than staying up with us all evening. What I can't figure out is how things are going to work when we get to the point of putting ds2 to bed earlier than ds1. It's ok if DH is around as he can put ds1 to bed while I feed ds2. But quite often Dh will be working into the evenings. I can foresee doing ds1's bedtime with a howling overtired ds2 in tow (this is happening already). I can't do ds2 first as then I would have to leave ds1 to his own devices for half an hour or so while I feed ds2 in the bedroom.

Also, what do you do about bedtime stories with two different aged children? At the moment ds1 has three stories. Will we end up reading three stories to each child? Or will each child get to choose two of their own books and have four all together even though that means they might not be age appropriate?

I'd be interested to hear how other people's bedtime routines work.

I have a smaller age gap, 21m and they are now 4 and 2.5 but it sort of went like this if I was on my own when DD was still needing a last feed:

bath together
PJs on in front of the TV. DS would have a drink of milk and a biscuit while I gave DD a bottle quietly in the corner (or in her room, he was ok being left for a few mins)
leave DD in her cot to fall asleep
go get DS, teeth, stories and bed

Now they are older, if I am on my own it goes:
bath together
PJs, milk and biscuit with TV
teeth
DS "reads" in his room or comes and listen's to DDs stories (2 each)
I use needing to read DS's stories as an excuse to get out of DDs room as she is a bit clingy at the moment, then go into his, two stories and night night. It helps that they both like Peppa and Thomas books.

With a bigger age gap, it might be that your older one could start sounding out words or pointing out things in the book to the younger one so he is involved and then when younger one is in their cot, you can give the older one some undivided attention. If the younger one doesn't always settle perfectly, then sometimes you do just have to let them cry for a few mins so you can deal with the other, it won't kill them and if you keep running into them, neither gets settled. I have tried doing stories properly together but they get antsy about the bed we're on and proprietorial about the covers so I find it easier to keep them separate just now.

2yrs 4 months between DS and DD. Both go to bed at the same time. Upstairs wash and PJs. Stories in DH and my room - they choose one or two each - then each to bed. DD (3) gets tucked in and kissed goodnight first. Once she is settled I go and do the same for DS (5).

There's 12 months between my DDs, ages 3y2m and 14m. We do everything with the two of them together, so bath, teeth, pjs, stories, songs, bed.

Some nights go great but others are tricky, if one plays up the other's routine gets messed up etc. it is easier now than it was when dd2 was smaller as she didn't have the patience for more than half a story and trying to bf her while balancing toddler dd1 on my lap too and somehow hold a book sometimes got complicated!

Do they share a bedroom?

I have the same age gap as you and almost always did (and do) bedtimes on my own. Basically I decided that at 3.5 (which ds1 was when ds2 started to go to bed in the eve) he was old enough to play quietly in his (childproofed) bedroom for half an hour while I fed ds2. If he played quietly he would have a story but if he had messed about it would just be lights out. He quickly cottoned on to the idea it was better to play quietly. Now at 4.5 he puts his pyjamas on, sets out his school uniform for the morning and chooses a story while I'm bfing 19mo ds2.

I find the trickier bit is bath time when the over tiredness seems to get to either or both of them. Then I bundle them out of the bath and into bed quicker

Feed DS2 before DS1's bedtime. Then either put him to sleep straightaway, or let him drift while DS1 is having story.
When they are older, they can share bedtime story ( had them sharing a room for this very purpose) or have separate ones, youngest first. Older ones quite liked having a quiet half hour to chill by themselves ( or playing quietly on the floor nearby if very close in age). They all learnt very young that they were each entitled to a little uninterrupted time with a parent at bedtime, and it was never a big issue. Helped by the fact that whilst DS1 was always difficult at bedtime when he was little, DS2 &3 fell into a routine very quickly ( because they had to???)

We do first bf downstairs for baby (now 8 months). Then pj's for both downstairs then up for teeth and stories (don't bath every night) dd2 either sits on our lap and listenst to dd1's choice of stories or rolls around on the floor then dd1 gets in bed and lights out. Another bf or straight to cot for dd2 who mostly settles reasonably well.

We have a large armchair in the dd's room for stories which makes things easier as we all fit at the moment.

We have to put dd1 in bed first as dd2 thinks if dd1 is making any noise she has to be awake.

Thanks for all your advice - lots of ideas to try here. I guess it will settle down into a routine that suits us all eventually - it's just hard to picture right now.

Ds1 is nearly 5yo and dd2 is 13mo. They have slightly staggered bedtime - dd2 goes to bed at 6.45pm and ds1 goes to bed around 7pm. They both have milk together in front of cbeebies at about 6.15pm, then I usually do ds1's stories after putting dd2 down to bed. Sometimes I read a story to both of them but she is tired and wriggles and just wants to go to bed at this point. I like the 15 mins I have with ds1 - it's nice for him to have a little bit of one to one time before his bed, without me trying to soothe a grumpy baby or rushing him because she is crying downstairs. My theory that I went with is that ds1 will remember this age, dd2 will not. So while I don't neglect her in any way, I currently prioritise his bedtime.

I have 3, aged 5,3 and 1 - I get them all changed and into PJ's in their bedrooms, and then spend about 20min with each seperately. So, for example, we all go upstairs at 6pm and get in the bath. Then all out of the bath, dried and into PJ's in the bathroom (it's nice and warm in there, which is an added bonus!). Then all into beds, oldest DD1 likes to read in bed and DS aged 3 has a big basket of toys to keep him happy. Then 20min with baby and a bottle until she is asleep in bed, then 20min reading stories and tidying toys and cuddles with DS, then 20min with DD1, stories, reading practice etc. Usually baby is asleep by 6.30, others follow after I've been in to them.