How sociable do toddlers need to be?

[Notsoyummymummy1]

DD is 21 months, I don't drive and live in a small village so it's hard to get about and I don't have any mummy friends. DD goes to a weekly "gym" group (glorified soft play) and swimming lessons on the weekend when DH is home to drive us there but the rest of the week we have no regular activities. My dad used to take us to a music group and a group for one year olds at the children's centre in town but both groups were dropped due to lack of numbers.

I struggle to get to the weekly village mum's group as it clashes with DD's naptime so she's either asleep or tired and irritable and doesn't seem to get much out of it anyway as numbers are small and there's no children her age. Also it's a bit cliquey and I find myself looking after everyone's children while the mums gossip! I've seen a couple of church run groups in town but I always miss the bus because she's napping or due to eat, playing up etc etc. My mum and mil visit regularly though which DD loves.

What I'm asking is - how important is it for children to socialise at this age? I do really worry she doesn't "do" enough and I'm failing her, especially as she is rather shy with people she doesn't know. There is a pre-school on the village which would take her from the age of 2 - would it be best to send her there a couple of mornings a week ASAP?

Kind opinions welcome thank you!!!

Honestly I wouldn't worry about socializing with her own age group until she's a bit older. Maybe aim for a play group at 2.5ish? My DS has started preschool this September at 3.4 and it's really exhausting for him. I honestly don't think it would be a good environment for a 2 yo. Just too structured and disciplined. But I guess it depends on the preschool.

At 21 months all she really needs is you.

It's normal for a small child to be shy, don't worry about that, especially with regard to adults. DS is very shy with adults (for about 2 mins) but is v sociable with kids at preschool.
Take her out with you and be sociable yourself, out to a cafe/library/museum, anywhere you can go where she can see you interacting. She'll learn some social skills just by watching.

We all worry we should be doing something more for our cd, but honestly yours sounds pretty lucky to me.

Wow thank you for your kind reassurance, it's been a real boost. We do have fun together playing games at home, going for walks or to the park and I never thought about her learning off me but I guess she does. I think like most first time mums I over analyse and worry about not ticking all the boxes but she's a happy little girl and that's what matters I guess. Thank you again - your little boy sounds very lucky too