DD crying all the time and DS keeps wetting himself....am I such a bad mother???

[Sugarmagnolia]

DD(5) has been really tearful the last two weeks - literally ever since the last day of term. She's just finished two years at the most wonderful nursery and is going on to P1 in August at the same school with all her friends. I don't know what's going on with her - whether she's missing nursery (she says no), whether she doesn't like the summer playscheme she's going (she says she does and the teachers there all say she's fine), whether she's getting sick (she does act like this when something is brewing, but surely not for two whole weeks)...Maybe it's just a lot of change going on and it's all too much for her to articulate. To be perfectly honest I have no idea and I don't know what to do.

Then there is DS(3) who has been out of nappies since Christmas. Did really well with toilet training, took to it quickly, but still persisted with, not full-on, puddle on the floor accidents, but slightly "wet pants" from time to time. Sometimes he seems to manage for weeks with no problem and other times he does it every other day or even every day. Well, right now we're going through one of those every day phases and I'm at my wits end. It is the one single thing, bar none, gauranteed to get me worked up.

And to top it all off, we're going on holiday tomorrow when at th moment I don't really relish a whole week away with either of my children!!!! Help.

you're NOT a bad mum.....that is my job, this list of what Ihave/haven't done over the last 2 weeks- should make you feel better....

1-forgotten to collect 4yo from school( forgot CM was off)

2- not been proper food shopping( creating meals from whatever is in back of cupboards

3-forgotten DS packed lunch x 2

4-had 2 letters re DS1 behaviour at school

5-killed DS1 spelling book!!!

6-not completed DS1 homework x 1

7-let ds2 watch tv far too much(3hour/day)

8-forgotten DS2 party clothes for school-only one in uniform!!!

feelin better yet? no other practical advice except try and relax about it all, take a deep breath, love and enjoy your children (they're his pants -if DS1 wants them wet then so be it in my book!) stop feeling so responsible (even tho I know you have to be) and have some fun next week on your holiday, don't worry about what anyone else thinks, life really is too short....you CAN do this

{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks - I have to admit your list did make me feel just a little bit better

At least DH will be there to help share the responsibility next week - he's already agreed to take on any and all toilet-related responsiblities, so that's something!

Still feeling a bit sh*t though - it's like a downward spiral. The more they behave like this, the worse I feel, the more I loose patients with them, the worse they behave.....

Right SugarM... You are in control here and your concern over these issues just proves you are a great mummy....keep reminding yourself of this.

I have felt how you feel on many occasions where by the childrens behaviour gets me down-this then makes them worse-then me -then them and on and on it goes.

I find sitting and making a realistic list of what I want to happen sets things straight in my mind and keeps things in proportion. Your holiday may just be the perfect time that your DD might let on if there is something bothering her...it could be change in her routine/hot weather/fear of the unknown/change?.. you just never know with these LO's.
while you are away could DH take the children for a couple of hours so you can have some 'me time' perhaps a massage or flipping thru a magazine with no interuptions..?

oH YEAH and perfect parents...pah. Those'll be the like of you and me and many other mn's who have plain old love to give our children and thats all we need...

all you need is love...la la la la la

I forgot to pick someone else's child up from school. Whoops . Am I a bad mother? No worse than any others.
And boys take forever to potty train. I'm with frangipan on this one - if damp pants are his thing, well hey....
Good luck with the holiday xx

Really?? You both think if he's happy with wet pants just let him be? I'm not sure I can do that. DD went through the same thing in the first year after she was out of nappies, except she would have proper accidents. I was so sure that it was just because she was stubborn by nature and the my sweet, laid back little DS would be easier. But here we are going through almost the same thing.

I suppose I don't really think I'm a horrible mum - I know I do my best with them, but I just find it so hard to get out of these cycles once we get in them. And then I worry that may kids are always going to wonder when the "bad" mummy is going to appear (don't worry, I don't hit them or anything but i do shout).

Right now they're out playing in the garden adn I should be packing but I think I'm going to go and lay on the sofa for half an hour instead. Thanks for talking - it helps.

hope the lie down helped.
Sending you lots of good wishes for a fantastic holiday... let us know how you feel when you get back xxxxxxxxxxxxxx