Anyone attachment parenting out there?

[littleraysofsunshine]

16 months and still going!x

I guess I am, seem to have fallen into it! 4mo here.

We are I suppose, although we don't use the term. DS is 25 months.

What exactly is it???!!

Yes, same here. I think the term means allowing much love and letting your child's feelings be important. Making sure their feelings are validated, and just maybe trying to live a calm way of parenting. Well this is how I try? Lol

We don't let our children cry it out, I baby wear, breastfeed, and part co-sleep. (3yo, 18mo and 8.5weeks until dc3)

What ways do you parent without using the term?

Yes, DS 7 years and DD 4 months tomorrow.

Yes. DS 23 months. Have co-slept pretty much from the start. Still bf too. Babywear as and when :)

Littleray- Sorry, my post was a bit unclear. I just meant that DH and I adhere to the basic principles of attachment parenting, but we do not label our parenting methods.

Labels can be great and very useful (or very bad indeed), and I feel that I have more than enough to contend with, without adding attachment parent to the list!

LoofVan- here are some links to a sights and an article about attachment parenting.

www.attachmentparenting.co.uk/

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/9399989/Attachment-parenting-Can-baby-be-too-attached.html

We also basically AP without labelling it as such. I'd say our parenting was informed by the underlying principles but there are probably things we do that pure APers would be shocked at.

I tick the extended BF, baby wearing and co-sleeping boxes, but I'm not always as calm as I'd like to be

Pretty much the same as Nom - we basically agree and adhere with the basic principles and have extended BFing, cosleeping, slinging and apart from one desperate, disastrous CC attempt, have always gone to him and continue to when he cries, always try to see things from his perspective - even though he is very young and has few communication skills...just coming from a place of love and patience.

But there's also a lot of moments of no serenity or calm! And we also have - gasp! - a forward facing buggy I don't really believe in anything that maintains a rigid following be it AP or Gina Ford. There were things about AP that very definitely jived with how we felt and how we wanted to approach things - emotionally and practically. But I don't think I'd call us AP, not in a "hardcore" pure sense.

How do you 'attach parent' once your kids are in preschool or school?

Genuine question.

Can you for example work FT and attach parent?

Maybe I should read the book

Good question Betty.

I breastfed DS1 until he was a toddler and basically wore him in a sling constantly. We co-slept too. He is now three and he still wakes up at night so we go in and reassure him/hug him etc.

Now I am co-sleeping with DS2, who is 8 months and breastfeeding him. He doesn't like slings much but he does get carried a lot.

I am very calm - just not a shouty person really. I prefer to distract and joke. I could never let anyone do crying, no matter how controlled, as it has a very physical, stressful effect on me. I think if you are small and want your mum or dad, that's fair enough.

However, I have worked full time since DS1 was nine months old and DS2 was six months. Neither has had formula while I am at work (they would only accept breastmilk) and DS2 is still pretty much feeding on demand when I'm around.

So I would say I use a lot of the attachment parenting principles but unconsciously. And because I work, that label seems wrong for me. I like the calm, physically close ideas of it though.

Well DS is off to school in Jan and I worked from when he was 4m. We chose a nanny who was happy to feed expressed milk, use a sling, not do CC. The book does explain that quite well...

As far as APing a preschooler goes you can still co-sleep and use a sling, but it becomes more about the relationship than the physical closeness I think. Although there are still lots of hugs.

We slinged as long as our backs could take it ( DH longer than me as I'm still buggered from the birth). DS is 2 and we co sleep.
Ff and I try not to shout but no parent is perfect. We also practise 'benign neglect' - is that part of AP?
We just did what came naturally and what feels right for all of us.
DH works from home and I went back to work after 20 months, DS has been 4hrs/day at nursery 3-ish months.

I did but purely by accident. It was a natural way for me to be but I have been criticised. It was a relief to find out it had a name actually, I was just labelled 'soft' before.

I have always felt uncomfortable in causing my DC undue distress/discomfort simply because it was 'time', because a family member or a book had said so. I ignored all the advice on when it was time to move them to their own rooms, when to stop milk, when to take their dummies away etc etc. I just wait until it's THEIR time, when it feels right for them & they're physically &/or emotional ready for whatever the next step is.

I've been disappointed with myself as they've got older as I can get a bit stressed and shouty, esp with DS1 who has behavioural problems but I'm still just following my instincts & trying to communicate as much as possible.

Other than the co sleeping, i genuinely do not understand how Attachment Parenting differs from how the vast majority of parents actively wish to raise their children.... With lots of love and affection and trying not to be shouty (no one actively Wants to be shouty) and even if you are not a sling wearer, chances are, if you have a normal baby, you will carry them. A lot!

It is a ghastly label and i wish it would just go away!

Lots of love and hugs aren't exclusively AP traits, though.
AP is a terrible term and always makes the parent seem superior and a fan of oneupmanship.
I hate labels, especially this one. We don't have a label for our parenting style. Oh, wait, we do: getting on with it.

Yup, we too are doing "Getting on with it" parenting. Except this morning where we are doing "Shambling through parenting".

(DS1, age 3, has thrown a massive wobbler about being too hungry to eat his breakfast and now is busy rocking on the toilet and singing about his poo going to the stars. I am hideously late for work.)

We're still being as "ap" as we can (didn't have a name when dd1 was born!) and our dc are 10,11,13! Especially with the youngest there's lots of co-sleeping even now (my dh is away 2 nights a week and she sleeps with me then). We did lots of slinging, extended bf (is it extended at 2yo?). We keep the basic idea in our heads now and it's actually been very useful with dd1 a teenager now, has helped with the stomping off and teenage tantrums!

Lots of love and hugs aren't exclusively AP traits, though.
AP is a terrible term and always makes the parent seem superior and a fan of oneupmanship.
I hate labels, especially this one. We don't have a label for our parenting style. Oh, wait, we do: getting on with it.

Also doing shambling through here.

I desperately wanted to AP. I failed to breastfeed after a traumatic delivery and I felt like that meant I wasn't allowed to do the rest of it. I didn't use a sling because, you know, I'm formula feeding. That's not AP.

It's only now she's 6 months old that I can see I have been AP in all ways I can, just not bf. I don't leave her to cry, I kiss her and cuddle her all day. I co-sleep with her. I did try a sling but I have back issues and I just couldn't cope with the weight.

I do think now that AP is oneupmanship totally, like a previous poster said. It is exclusive and excluding. But it's just a label. Most parents parent in this way without needing a smug label.

Eh? How'd that post twice? Sorry

RubyrooUK I have just breathed in my breakfast cake instead of swallowing it! I curse your hilarious 3yo

Breakfast cake?

TWO breakfast cakes, actually: a kind of chelsea bun wuth custardy-cream, and a mini chocolate croissant.
It's our shopping morning: drop DS at nursery, food shop via the caff with cakes and newspapers and MN much easier than doing the weekly shop with lo, he gets too antsy in the trolley.
Poor DH and me, it's as close to a weekly 'date' as we get