Tired & finding it hard to deal with people comments

[cookiemonster100]

Hi,

LO is 3 weeks old & since his arrival I feel everyone goes on about how brilliant a dad my DH is & all I get is people opinions on where I am going wrong. LO was screamed the place down last night coz I didn't feed him enough ( he had trapped wind & I feed him every 3 hours & he put on 5lbs in the past week). The reason he doesn't sleep in his Moses basket at night is coz I cuddle him too much ( he sleeps in it fine in the day).
And why does DH get to sleep today when I am Knackered!
I hate everyone today :(

I totally feel your pain-my 5 week old has awful trapped wind, screams for hours each night, won't sleep in Moses basket at night-happy as larry in it during the day though. And my DP is totally exhausted despite me doing all the night wake ups (I am feeding), on the rare occasion he gets up or has baby and baby starts crying it is always due to hunger so baby gets passed to me to deal with.
Rant over. Think I'll send DP out for chocolate-make himself useful.

It's a good question, why does your DH get to sleep today?

Did you get to have a lie in? Even if you're breastfeeding you could sleep for a few hours between feeds.

Tell him to pull his socks up, hand him the baby and go sleep.

Tell who ever is making comments to fuck off

A few things - why are you feeding 3 hourly? Is this on demand?

Also you can never cuddle a baby too much. Moses basket mattresses are usually thin and cold. So no surprise there he doesn't settle.

Are you formula or breast feeding? The trapped wind could be reflux or intolerance to cows milk.

Your DH would only have to change a nappy to be called brilliant to many. They can jog on!

Yes, what Tee said.
When you have a baby, the whole world has an opinion on how you could do it better.
Zone them out, smile politely, then ignore.
You are the expert of your baby, not them.

Thanks for your replies. I am just feeling really crap at the min. The comments where from my mum & gran which is unusual of them which makes it harder to take. I know I need to just ignore it but today I am just too tired & emotional to handle it.

Just slept & left baby (& preparing dinner to DH). Could easily sleep some more tbh!

X

I don't think people get as a new mum I need to hear encouragement not criticism. It frustrates me my husband can't even show some of this ( he would never criticise). I found I have been really boosted by praise from strangers ( eg health visitor) & find it upsetting the people closer to me can't show it. I know it sounds pathetic & needy but it is the thing that makes me tick. This is all new to me & just don't want to feel like I get it wrong all the time.
X

Growth spurt. No wonder you're tired. It will get better. People always interfere when you have your first. Its annoying. Try not to let it get to you though.

I can relate to this. Have you said anything? You should. ....

DH can make his own dinner. Sheesh.

If it's your mum and gran, why don't you just tell them? They are supposed to be supporting you, if they aren't helping get them to leave. They are being nicer to your dh probably because their expectation is that men do zero. My dh got praise for walking the baby around in a baby carrier while I ate dinner :)

I noticed people (especially older people) told DP how wonderful he was with DS and how he was superdad etc it was really annoying, he was infact great with DS but no one gave me a bloody medal for feeding or changing a nappy.

Yes its kind of default that the mum will be good at parenting but people heap praise on the dad for even taking an interest. I found this too.

Hi, thanks for your messages.

Feeling a lot stronger today ( which has been helped by a lot more sleep!)
Glad I am not the only one who sees all super dad has to do is change a nappy. I know I will need to be stronger but on 2 hours sleep it all just got to me.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, it's hard to talk about this stuff with people in RL

Xx