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Parenting

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Original poster

Can I get your opinion on how I handled this please ?

19 replies

nutcracker · 12/07/2006 09:38

Dd1 (8) is in year 3 and they are allowed to take in money to buy tuck at break time. Dd1 has 50p and usually buys a drink and a cereal bar.

Yesterday Dd2 gave Dd1 50p and asked if she would get her a drink from tuck for her to have after school. I had no problem with this as it was dd2's money so up to her.

Dd1 did get the drink and all was rosey, except for the fact that I knew the drinks cost 30p and that Dd1 didn't offer any change.

I left it until this morning and asked Dd1 for Dd2's change and she started pretending to root around in her bag for it. I knew full well that Dd1 had spent it, so I said to her 'look if you spent it just tell me' and she said she had.
I asked her what on and she'd basically had 2 cereal bars and a drink.

I was annoyed because she lied which we'd had problems with before and because she knew Dd2 wouldn't realise which I felt was sneaky.

Anyway, as punishment I didn't give her her 50p for tuck today and made her take a drink of water and an apple with her instead.

Dp thinks I went OTT, do you ?

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trinityrhino · 12/07/2006 09:40

I think it gives a clear message that what she did wasn't right, I don't think it's over he top. she won't do it again

harpsichordcarrier · 12/07/2006 09:41

no, I don;t think it was OTT. I think you handled it just about right.

LiliLaTigresse · 12/07/2006 09:42

no, I think you were right there nutty

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Carmenere · 12/07/2006 09:43

Hmm morally you were right but surely one of the parts of having younger siblings is doing them out of money and treats

charliecat · 12/07/2006 09:44

No sounds spot on. Is it not better to send her with the apple and water every day though, lot cheaper on the purse when your going to have 3 wanting the same!

Original poster

nutcracker · 12/07/2006 09:44

Thankyou both.

Dd1 has been in trouble quite a few times for similar behaviour so I didn't feel it could go unpunnished.

OP posts:

tenalady · 12/07/2006 09:44

No i think it was a perfectly healthy option, it would of been tough if you had not given her anything for break. Be careful not to put her off telling you the truth. I always say to my ds4 you wont be in trouble if you tell me the truth. If I get the truth, which I normally do, I go into the explanations of the do's and dont's of what he may of done. Hopefully that way he wont master the art of lying.

Original poster

nutcracker · 12/07/2006 09:46

Thankyou all even

LOL Carmenere

Charlie - We was discussing that the other day, but we won't have to give Dd2 tuck money for another year yet and hopefully we won't be as broke then LOL.

OP posts:

harpsichordcarrier · 12/07/2006 09:46

yes, tenalady is right, I would lay it on thick about how glad you are she told you the truth, that you would have much mnore cross if she hadn't, that it is the mature thing to do etcetc

Original poster

nutcracker · 12/07/2006 09:48

We have had loads of discussions about lying with Dd1 after she told a serious one last year, but unfortunatly she tends to slip back after a while.

The whole thing will be forgotten now as I won't mention it again to her, but I know she'll know from the punishment that I was not happy with her.

OP posts:

NomDePlume · 12/07/2006 09:49

I don't think you were OTT at all, nutty.

Original poster

nutcracker · 12/07/2006 09:49

I did say to her that I was glad she told the truth as soon as I asked, as previously it has taken days to get her to own up to stuff.

OP posts:

neena28 · 12/07/2006 09:55

Think that was spot on, nutcracker.

Only wish I could be as calm and reasonable as you have been with ds.

LaDiDaDi · 12/07/2006 10:20

I think that you handled it really well.

Tortington · 12/07/2006 11:14

its not as straight cut as you may think

in future your dd may in such a circumstance - spend the money - say " i lost it sob sob"

and you know they are lying but cant prove it

at least she sai - "ues i did it"

she owned up to it - so

i would have said. "thank you for being honest, becuase you were honest you can have todays money. you did a mean thing and i am very dissapointed."

that would have done it.

but now - i think you could tell her that your proud she was honest enought o own up and not lie about it.

ziggiz · 12/07/2006 11:17

LOL carmenere!

Think you handled it just right no way was it OTT guess like my dp he is the soft one in the family when it comes to true discipline. Am I wrong?

jampots · 12/07/2006 11:19

i think you handled it perfectly nutty.

TheSwiiiiiiiines · 12/07/2006 11:23

I think you must be very proud of her for owning up. That's a very hard thing to do as she must have known you'd be disappointed and that there could be consequences. I agree that it'd be worth telling her that she was a great kid for owning up in that situation.

RTKangaMummy · 12/07/2006 11:38

I think you deffo did a good job

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