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Original poster

Anybody left a toddler with grandparent for 5 days??

18 replies

lornajane80 · 19/11/2013 09:52

Hello! DH and i have been invited to a wedding in New York in may, and I am really unsure as to whether to take DD, who will be 15 months old then. Longest we'll leave her is 5 days, and her grandparents (who are wondrous with her) are very happy to have her, although she doesn't see them tht much as they live a few hours away so we'd plan to spend few weekends there in the run up. OR take her with us, but would the flights and time zone diff etc be totally awful for her? Slightly worried will scar her for life through the separation, have no concerns for myself-know i'll have a great time. Any advice/experience welcome!! Thanks

OP posts:
Cosmo89 · 19/11/2013 10:35

Won't scar her for life certainly.

I think you should look at both options positively but I was in the same situation as you earlier this year with a very mobile 9mo - we chose to leave DS with grandparents and when we got there we were really relieved, as the journey and time difference would have been harder than we thought. We have since left him for a week with grandparents (he was 15mo) and he had a blast. He is in nursery full time anyway, so his daily routine didn't change, but he was v pleased to see us when we got back and no problems setting him home.

Your DC will have a lovely time with grandparents - there may be a couple of wobbles but sure all will be fine. Only you know your child and yourself - if you think either of you are going to actually be traumatised - don't do it!

Original poster
lornajane80 · 19/11/2013 10:41

Thank you so much Cosmo! Really reassuring to hear that it was ok for you. I thought 5 days would probably be just ok. As you say, it's the time zones and travelling for her that worries me - I don't just want to get away from her! X

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Scrounger · 19/11/2013 14:47

How old and active are your parents? Mine and my PIL are getting on a bit and would find 5 days a long time even if they said that they could do it. A week in NY sounds fab and a chance not to be missed. Is she going to be in her home or her GP? Would it make a difference?

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squeaver · 19/11/2013 14:50

Go. Leave her. She'll have a ball and so will you.

We left dd with my parents for 5 days when she had just turned one. Then again for 5 days when she was 2 and half.

I see no long-term damage (yet).

Original poster
lornajane80 · 19/11/2013 14:56

Amazing - thanks so much! @scrounger - they're pretty active, and are super experienced with small children as m-I-l has another 6! She knows more than I do and will make a big effort to stick to our routines. She'll be at theirs' though, not our place, but I think it should be ok if we familiarise her with it properly beforehand??

@squeaver-thanks and very good to know!! I thnk I'm managing to convince myself... And get really excited about an amazing break away just the two of us. Is got to be healthy for a child to have relaxed parents in a strong relationship, right?! ;-)

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sweetheart · 19/11/2013 14:59

dh and I try to have 1 weekend getaway alone each year. The longest of these being when we went to Marrakech to 5 days. Every time we go away we have a lovely time and the kids get totally spoilt rotten. Don't get me wrong we all miss each other and it's lovely to get us all home but we do look forward to our little trips away on our own too!

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 19/11/2013 15:02

If you leave her, you'll all have a little holiday. She'll be spoiled rotten by the GPs for a few days, and you'll be able to relax and enjoy the wedding and New York without worrying about DDs meal times, bed times etc etc.
Go away and enjoy yourself, and be thankful you have such doting grandparents!

TarkaTheOtter · 19/11/2013 15:03

I think both options would be fine at 15months.

Mattissy · 19/11/2013 15:04

We had a 5 night honeymoon in NY when ds was 2, he had a whale of a time and didn't miss us as much as we missed him, lol

My parents have an excellent relationship with my dc, my parents are fabulous, they say they don't do us a favour by having the dc's, we do them a favour by letting them have them. My parents love having the dc's and my dc's adore them back.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 19/11/2013 15:11

I did when ds2 was 2. I went for 5 days. Although ds was used to spending a night or two with my parents and his older brother was with him. My parents are in their 50's an my mum found it hard work tbh but says she would do it again. I wouldnt ask her though. Ds was absoloutely fine. Smile

minniemagoo · 19/11/2013 15:17

Left DD1 for 10 days for a wedding (missed her 1st birthday by a day but no emotional fall out!), subsequently left her for another 10 days when she was about 18months and so on. We always left the youngest with GPs (Dhs parents) until they were about 3, made holidays so much easier. GPs loved having kids, still do. They have such a great relationship, we live 20 mins away and see them often.
3 years ago my day fell ill and we left the kids for a night with GPs to go visit in hospital, unfortunately dad died and it was 2 weeks before we got back. GPs dealt with the kids wonderfully.
I trust them 100% and I know my kids love them to bits. Its not for everyone and depends hugely on the relationship you have with them. I wouldn't leave my child with my mother for an hour.

NewBlueShoesToo · 19/11/2013 15:19

We left two under 3's for three days. Everyone was fine.
To be honest I'd be more worried about the grandparents because however active they are it's exhausting!

bigTillyMint · 19/11/2013 15:20

We left ours with the ILs for a few days at a time from when they were little. MIL is fab with babies and small children and they always had a lovely time.

I have never left them with DM as she just wouldn't have been able to cope.

rachyconks · 19/11/2013 15:23

My DD is 1 and would LOVE 5 days at Nanny's house. She would be spoilt rotten. If they are willing to babysit, I wouldn't think twice about it!

WhatHo · 19/11/2013 15:46

I'd say leave with GPs. I have flown to NY with a 15 month old - they are too old to sleep all the time and too young to watch TV so they just want to explore. By the time you get there you are like this

and everyone else on the plane is like this

WhatHo · 19/11/2013 15:47

...oh and next time we did it both stayed at home alternating between the two GPs houses and were absolutely fine.

Thurlow · 19/11/2013 15:57

DD is 22mo and has had several stays of 2-4 nights with my parents and one with BIL and SIL, who she didn't actually know that well (SIL is amazing with kids so wasn't worried). She's not even noticed we weren't there. Nice to be loved Grin

If you're happy with the idea of your DC staying with family every now and again I think it's good to start youngish, so that it just becomes something normal that they do and they understand that every now and again they are away from their parents, but it's fine, they have fun, they get to come home again at the end of it. And yes, they will get spoilt absolutely rotten.

In your position I wouldn't even think twice about it. Everyone's happy, surely?

Original poster
lornajane80 · 19/11/2013 16:17

Thanks a million one and all - I feel totally reassured and am swiftly planning itinerary of cocktails and lie-ins without DD! You are all right, she'll get spoilt absolutely rotten with GP, and hopefully will barely notice were gone. And if she does, it'll be a good lesson that we came back again! Very greatly appreciated.

Whatho. Fabulous! Reason enough...

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