grandparents

[dmo]

my boys are 9 & 10 they have 3 sets of grandparents as my mum and dad separated when i was 7 i lived with my dad and didnt see my mum for 3 yrs then it was 1 weekend each month till i was 14yrs and didnt want to go any more.
anyway back to story, my real mum will have my boys one weekend every 2-3 mths which is great! think shes making up. dh mum sees boys on b/days and chrismas's (she lives 5 mins away) said to me she is not intrested at all in the boys she has never babysat. my dad and his wife (lived with her from age of 9 so she brought me up) never babtsit ever (they live 5 mins away also) but we do visit.
anway sister (my dads and stepmums) has just had a baby i'm totally in love with baby but stepmum said as a passing comment that this was her first grandchild, i'm totally hurt been crying and everything, told my sister what she said and sis told her so she came round to talk, she said she didnt mean it and its her hormones that make her say things wrong but i'm still hurt

It is totally understandable I'm afraid. When you give birth to a child it changes you, as I'm sure you have found out with your own baby. You are not your stepmother's biological daughter and you can not change her gut feelings. I'm sure she loves you nad her step grandchild very much.

Yes but i'm 31 nearly now so she has brought me up most of my life, just feel creul on boys as they call her nana and think of her as nana nothing less like step-nana

poor you- you must feel very hurt. i'm sure she loves you dearly and sees you as a daughter in terms of how close you are. i made a terrible blunder with my friends husband re his step daughter when his 2nd biol son was born. i asked how it felt to be dad of 2. he said- i already am!! i was mortified! i know its different, but she's probably beside herself about having upset you.

thanks i hope so.
my hubby and i have decided to adopt or foster when our boys are older and i hope with all my heart i wont feel different about my adopted children and their children.
i am a childminder and i do feel close to the children i look after and we feel like an extended family and i do still visit ex mindees and they visit me

what you think of dh mum and dad? is anybody in the same boat?

did your mil really say that?! i'd be inclined to make myself unavailable at bdays and xmas. they can't just cherry pick the time they spend with u , esp when they live so close. if they don't support you/ care for the boys why should you include them in family celebrations?

i dont! some years on boys b/days she has comes round at 9pmish cause she knows they will be in bed, was upset when it was ds2 4th b/day she came about 10pm with a present in a carry bag (not wrapped) present cost £5 (its believe me not the money thing)but she is loaded they own property in 3 countrys and have about 7 houses near us that they rent out. no chance of a hoilday! when hubby and i first got together we rented a flat and then i got pregnant with ds1 so we needed a bigger place so we rented one of his dads houses from him, he gave us no discount so we paid full (gald really made us push ourselves onto the property ladder)

what a bunch of aseholes! it's so their problem. pease dont waste your energy on them

thanks for making me feel better!
dont know why she even had children herself shes irish and it was prob the thing to do
my hubby was so unloved but i'm making up for it now to him

good on ya!