Middle child syndrome - does it exist?

[Willthisworknow]

Dd2 is 3.5 and is a total challenge. Eating or lack of is one of her things but we have learnt to ignore that and just deal with what she eats and she is putting on weight. The past few months though her tantrums have been getting worse and it can be over the littlest thing. Tonight it's because we took her out the bath (usually there is a tantrum to get her in). Earlier it was something else. Can't remember as it was so minor. We generally just let her cry it out as there is no snapping her out of it when she's on one. She is still crying now, 20 mins after getting out the bath. It is so frustrating. We haves 5 year old boy and a 16 month old girl. Is she really not getting enough attention? Does middle child syndrome really exist? Any tips as she is driving us mad!

Hang on in there, will try to reply tomorrow, to exhausted now, been suffering from second child syndrome since my DD2 was born.just wanted you to know you're not alone sounds like you have a strong character on your hands.

How much time one on one does she get? Do you do any activities specifically for her? Only you know if she's getting enough attention. My cousin is middle of 3 and was incredibly difficult as a child, if it helps he is now 21 and utterly lovely :)

DS (age 2, pfb) does similar. Has random tantrums about weird things - as you say, first you can't get him in the bath, then you can't get him out of it...

We used to try and pacify him and reason with him, then realised that a) he's really too young for much of that and b) our attention on the issue was actually just prolonging the episode - unhelpfully.

So now we acknowledge whatever's wrong for him, make a brief attempt to fix it if possible and if this doesn't work, we just move swiftly on to the next thing. Distraction, distraction, distraction. Usually as soon as we manage to get him interested in something else, and he realises there is no mileage in continuing to chunter about whatever his beef happened to be, he gives it up and happily moves on.

Forgot to say, after acknowledging his "grievance" we go all bright and breezy and upbeat (yes, sometimes we do quite sicken ourselves ). It's all in the tone. Set the mood and tacitly expect him to join us in it. Not sure if it genuinely fools him in any way, but it seems to work...

Totally agree with above, from my experience, your DD is upset with you and is making sure you end up feeling the same. second children soon learn to shout to object and unfortunately a third DC makes you to exhausted to respond positively. I also find smiling pulling funny faces , bringing out tickle fingers, dancing across the doorway or scooping my DD up and waltzing around the room usually changes the mood from screaming to screams or chuckles of laughter, followed by a fun flappy episode of how quick she can get pjs on. Instead of her making you feel as she feels you are making her feel how you want to feel- happy. This pays off and helps you out long run too as many a time I've caught my DD using this tactic with younger upset children . The less time you have for her the more importance on up beat feelings as these are the ones you want her to have her use to get her attention as they are less exhausting on you.