Aaaagghhh! 3 Year old terrorist. Tips needed for keeping ones cool.

[aragon]

HELP!

My 3 year old has become some sort of stranger in the past few weeks. Talk about "pushing the boundries" - he's practically leaping at them full force.

How on earth do I keep my cool? This morning he has:

Chased the cat (an elderly 14 year old princess who hates him).

Peed on the floor - something he's doing on and off - not because he can't hold it - just because I've told him to use the potty or toilet which he does most of the time. I made him wipe it up - should I just clean it without comment?

Refused to get dressed

and - when I tried to use the "Time Out" chair he just would not stay there. I even did my best Supernanny bit - got down to his level - looked him in the eye etc. Ended up locking him in his bedroom which I hate doing.

Finally, he began running at me headfirst - banging into me with his head. Afraid that I "lost it" then and ended up screaming in temper at him. Hauled him out to the car (parked in the garden) and locking him in there(in his booster seat), while I got the rest of our stuff together.

I've just dropped him off at nursery where I did the usual cuddle and told him I loved him etc - all very affectionate and cuddly. However, don't know which of us is more glad to see the back of the other this morning.

How on Earth do I keep my cool. Any tips welcome.

"don't know which of us is more glad to see the back of the other this morning" - that would be you really. in fact the whole behaviour thing might be because he doesn't want to go to nursery?

I now it's frustrating, but it doesn't really sound unusual. and i can't pretend that I never shout at mine either, but if ds behaved like you describe i would try to ignore as far as possible - when they're in an attention seeking mood it's the best thing - and use time out only when things get dangerous, i.e. at the head butting stage. do you have a midway thing you can use instead of locking him in his bedroom? eg I put mine on the stairs and shut the stair gate - thry could of course theoretically run upstairs but they don't usually.

hth

Ah - he did tell me this morning that he didn't want to go to nursery. Oh God - feel really guilty now. He usually loves nursery and the staff there are great.
Must remember to count to 10 etc when he's in this mood. Glad that you think he sounds normal though .

My 3 year old has been exactly the same the last few weeks and it's really , really hard isn't it. I start off reasonable and calm like supernanny and then seem to lose it there is no telling her right now! If it makes you feel better she doesn't go to nursery till September and is still badly behaved atm. I'm finding age three so much worse than two it's like living with a teenager if I was in any other job where I was shouted at, hit at and not listened to i'd have resigned a long time ago!

Ah - something to do with being 3 then.

everyone prepares you for terrible two's, no-one ever tells you that when they hit three it's 10 times worse. I actually thought we'd had an easy ride when ds didn't have all that many tantrums when he was two, but he's 3.7 now and oh I wish someone had told me. these past few weeks he has been an absolute nightmare, cheaky, defiant, has been winding up the dogs cronically, running around just being a nightmare child. I've banned the tv, have banned sweets, chocolate etc from the house, I've taken away toys, and finally yesterday I snapped and confiscated favourite bear that ds sleeps with every night. And so last night he had to go to bed without bear. Yes heartless aren't i. But at 6:00 this morning he came into my bedroom crying and said "mummy I'll never be horrible to the dogs ever again, please can I have my bear back?".

I think the hardest thing to do is to not shout, I find it almost impossible. I console myself with the hope that it will pass. please someone say it will pass, lol.

God I hope it passes. I was so fed up yesterday that I walked with dd and pushed 7 month old ds in the pram all the way to dp's mums house which is about 4.5 miles away. DD walked the whole way without moaning and as soon as we got there (2 hours later) fell straight to sleep maybe this is the answer LOL.

god its such a relief to hear its all normal. My 3 year old has also been a mini terrorist. It was so weird, he woke up on his 3rd birthday (1st June) fine, and after about 2 minutes, when we said "Its your birthday today!" it was like flipping a switch. He instantly started mega whining, and being really stroppy about everything, rude, cheeky, defiant, argumentative, contrary etc etc. It was as if he'd suiddenly thought "oh yeah, I'm 3 now I'm supposed to act like this ...." totally weird. We took them to the zoo for the day and he was sullen and kicked gravel (or lay in it tantruming) the whole afternoon, wasnt interested in anything (thankfully his little sister 18m loved it so not a total waste of time and money). Things just went from bad to worse over June, I was screeching and bellowing every minute of his waking day, he was having up to 7 wee-wee/poo accidents a day (after being dry in the day on and off sicne Jan) and just refusing to comply with anything, the timeout step turned into a game, its been awful. I think we just got into a negative spiral.

However things have started improving, I chatted with my HV, mainly about the toileting issues and she said to sort the behaviour out first, hopefully the toileting will follow.. She said to do lots of the noticing good behaviour thing, and not to react to anything. which took every ounce of self control I have ever had, but its worked. I have stopped shouting so much, all toilet accidents I mop up without comment. If he wets himself he has to change out of his wet things (and put them in his own little special laundry bin downstairs) and put on dry things - takes a fair amount of cajoling but he does do it and we still have a couple of accidents most days. I ignore as much stroppiness as I can, and as much bad behaviour as I can providing noone else is involved.

He is a lot better, I can now do an entire supermarket shop with him walking round holding the trolley, something I wouldn't have contemplated a few weeks ago.

Its such hard work, such a mental game, constantly trying to stay one step ahead of him though!!!

Good luck, hope it gets better soon,

the thing with mine though is that when we're out he's an absolute angel. I can take him shopping without any problems. it's when he's at home that he turns into child from hell, so consequently none of my family believe me if I tell them he's being a brat.

Wannabe that is exactly like my dd isn't there a saying "outside angel and house devil" or something.