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Original poster

No children at graduation!!!

21 replies

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:06

I have just finished my PGCE and had the letter through today telling me about the graduation ceremony in September. We get 2 tickets per person which is fairly standard, but there is also a note saying that "normally children under 8 are not allowed in the graduation hall". Limited childcare is offered.

I am so disappointed. I've been working like a bastard all year and my kids (2 and 4) have obviously had to take second place on occasions. I was really looking forward to taking them and DP to my graduation ceremony. Seeing me dressed up in funny clothes and meeting my friends.

When I graduated first time round 10 years ago I can't remember whether there were children there (unlikely to have been an issue for most undergraduates). But with postgrad courses I think it's really out of order to say that kids can't come. As with any of these public type ceremonies I feel that children should be totally included - but that the university or whoever should make a gentle request that they are suppervised within the ceremony by a responsible adult who will take them out if they are making too much noise.

My first graduation was in Latin and this one will be in Welsh so it's not as if there will be anyone who NEEDS to actually hear what's going on!

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Original poster

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:08

Not intended to be a slur on Welsh speakers - just there's no one on my course who speaks Welsh - or anyone in their families. Nor Latin for that matter tho clearly less likely.

OP posts:

moondog · 10/07/2006 23:08

I would have helped until I read your rather impertinent comment about Welsh.

edam · 10/07/2006 23:09

Aw, that's a shame. But I can see why they might think that it's not really suitable for children - lots of waiting around.

And the two tickets thing was always going to make it difficult, wasn't it? I couldn't get a third for mine so ended up with my mother and dp (now dh). The photographer thought dp was my mother's toyboy!

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marthamoo · 10/07/2006 23:10

My graduation ceremony was in Welsh too I can sympathise with limited numbers - I think I was limited to two, but I agree - it ought to be up to you who those numbers are. It's a shame they won't be able to be there - but, tbh, it is pretty boring - so long as you have childcare, just take lots of photo's and have a party afterwards? Congratulations, btw.

Original poster

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:16

marthamoo - it was a tongue in cheek comment!

There are only 16 on our course so why can't we be given a time for our course's bit and DP just usher them in at that point to stand at the back. Am not using the childcare as I don't believe in poking my kids off to sit with someone they've never met before - however well qualified and nice they are.

I can totally understand the numbers limit. I just feel it's another example of children being excluded from things in this country.

ffs! DD came to the open day with me as she was 5 months old and I needed to breastfeed her. They've both been into uni with me several times and DD even came to my final lecture with me and sat through the whole thing in silence.

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7up · 10/07/2006 23:21

the brits dont like kids and thats the end of it.our kids are not welcome anywhere, the wedding thread was the same.

marthamoo · 10/07/2006 23:21

I think you mean moondog...

LeahE · 10/07/2006 23:23

It does say "normally" so might be worth asking?

I do think a graduation ceremony would be fantastically boring for under-fives, though. Graduation day (Mummy dressed up in funny clothes, meeting your friends, the other stuff you are thinking of) yes, but the ceremony isn't normally a bundle of laughs.

marthamoo · 10/07/2006 23:25

I was pretty bored at mine. Apart from the momentary "oh dear God I have to get up in front of all these people, make it across that stage and curtsey" moment.

milward · 10/07/2006 23:27

Could you just take your kids along - surely no one will mind. How great for your kids to see your achievement & be part of it.

Reginald · 10/07/2006 23:31

FC, the letter does say "normally children under 8 are not allowed in the graduation hall" - why don't you give the relevant office a call and suggest the idea of dh bringing the children in just for your section of the ceremony? Worth a try?

Original poster

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:33

ok sorry moondog! it's late

yes i know ceremony will be a bit boring but don't feel that children should be excluded. it is british anti children thing isn't it. frankly i take them everywhere (cos i have to) and expect them to behave accordingly.

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Original poster

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:34

good idea reginald. not sure what "normally" means in this context. is it like "normally dogs not allowed but guide dogs are". prob babes in arms or something.

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Reginald · 10/07/2006 23:38

I think your idea of dh bringing them in for part of the ceremony is entirely reasonable - definitely worth asking (preferably face to face, with puppy dog eyes and children in tow with endearingly pleading look on their faces)

Chandra · 10/07/2006 23:38

I was very angry when I got a letter simmilar to yours, I spent half my MA studies pregnant and the other half with a baby. So I really wanted him to be there, but as the letter said no kids allowed we booked a place in the University nursery for a couple of hours and allow him to be with us until minutes before it started and pick him up just after it. So he only missed the part that he would find very boring anyway.

Thinking in retrospective, I think it was a good idea. There was another child who started running around and screaming and didn't allow us to hear part of the guest speaker discourse, and I'm sure some families didn't get to hear the names of their own family members either. After a few minutes of havoc both father and child were asked to leave the premises. I agree that that was the right thing to do.

Original poster

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:46

Hmm I guess you are right. It's just irritating that because there ARE people who let their children run around screaming at these things then well behaved children are left out.

My DS is likely to sit through the whole thing quietly apart from asking quiet questions like "why is that man wearing a funny hat" and "why is that lady showing her boobies to everyone?" which most people would be wondering anyway

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Chandra · 10/07/2006 23:58

He was only a child behaving like a child. I wouldn't expect a 2 yr old to be quietly sitting watching a rather monotonous performance for 90 minutes in a row, unless they are asleep.

Original poster

Freddiecat · 10/07/2006 23:59

yes that's what children do - but if it's a quiet thing and he'd not in the mood for quiet things then take them out!

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Reginald · 11/07/2006 00:00

lol @ ds' questions!

congratulations btw on your achievement - well done

Chandra · 11/07/2006 00:01

Do you know that the doors are closed to avoid disturbance in the room? is not as if you can pop out to the toilet and come back. Once out you are not allowed back in.

beansontoast · 13/07/2006 15:01

hope this doesnt make you sadder,but i read soemwhere...prob on here ...someone say that when she went up onto the stage to receive her degree...she heard a little voice say ''thats my mum''....and she fet so proud ...AHHHHHH

i swooned when i heard that and have been secretly hoping that ds will oblige me with similar cuteness at my graduation [which incidentally i swore i was never going to attend...untill i realised what a f*cking achievment it iwll be!!!]

def try to have them there...one of them at least...they can just come in for the good bit?

congrats on getting through btw

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