Very busy toddler - how to get anything done?

[lill72]

Hi, wondering how others plan their days if they are at home with a toddler? Get out early? etc

How do you get housework/admin/work/anything done?

I have DH in nursery part time but the rest of the time with me. I just never feel like I can achieve anything as I can't play with DD the whole time but only get to do things a bit half arsed. So i feel like I achieve litle all day.

DD does not nap so I am going spare - wondering how others plan day so they can cook/clean/entertain? etc

I wish I could have my DH in nursery part time. I'd get so much more done without him being in the way

If you find out let me know... I've got two of them. And they won't stop whining and bickering. I'm in the middle of toilet training and I want to run away

I try to get out early to a playgroup/ park/ soft play and then put the TV on for a hour or so after lunch for a bit of downtime for us both. Or suitable DVD. Make TV more of a special thing rather than on all the time and use it to your advantage!

Watching as I am in the same situation I also have a 8 month old and I am finding it difficult to even just keep on top of things that are essential - the weather aisn't helping as I can no longer just throw washing on the line and run out.

I try and do one load of washing a day and also me and dp alternate whoever puts dc's to bed the other cleans the kitchen after dinner. I also use tv for cooking and cleaning time or give dd some colours and she will draw.

Our days are mostly like this get out for around 9.30 toddler group/library/park etc back for lunch between 12-1ish put dd2 for a nap around 2 then do one on one playing with dd for an hour or so then put tv on while I cook dinner. I often hoover in the morning while dd is eating breakfast.

TV is your friend

You can try and turn some housework into a game - at the moment we're managing changing the beds, sorting the washing and getting it in the machine, dusting and, luckily, hoovering sweeping as DD can 'help' with all of those.

However I try and do as gutz says, we're out a fair bit or doing something away from the TV so I don't feel too bad if I put it on for half an hour and get something done while she's watching it.

If you take DH out of nursery maybe he can entertain DD while you do the stuff you want

No really, for me the key is to go out in the morning until lunch - park, playground, sing time, dance etc at the library. The activity and fresh air tires DS out (while DD naps in buggy as I have two). Home for lunch then DS, knackered, sleeps for 2-3 hours, by which time it's 5pm and he'll either play or watch tv while I cook.

It's trickier if your toddler doesn't nap but you could still put her in the cot with some books for down time. If DS refuses to nap I still have him in the cot - he's so used to it he just talks to himself no fuss.
Could you re-introduce a nap? for example by pushing bedtime back. that way you get a proper break in the afternoon.

Yes I think the key is getting out in the morning - it is just sometimes I have things to do and I want to get them done first thing. It is driving me a little spare at the moment.

But wearing them out in the morning then a rest on the couch and some TV for DD is what I try to do.

I find housework annoying enough without having DD making it slower - just think I would get frustrated.

your thoughts are appreciated

How old is dd? Sorry if you have said and I've missed it.

Definately get out of the house every morning. Enforce a routine of get up, breakfast, dressed or dressed as soon as up, breakfast while you get things sorted for going out. Lay out clothes for the morning. Get yourself up half an hour earlier for a cup of coffee/shower so you have time to wake up properly.

Try to get into a nap time routine. My dc were in a routine of nap after lunch for 2 hours from 1 year old (ish) they are now 3 and 2 and still like this nap plus it gives me time to do the housework, sort tea/ afternoon activities.

My two enjoy pushing the Hoover or I will give them wipes and the job of dusting. They both help at tidy up toy time. Labelled boxes for cars/trains/animals etc helps with this.

It took a lot of hard work to get the naps right to try to avoid meltdowns. I used to push ds2 up and down the hallway when ds1 went to bed

Sounds great yes? It was until we hit the contrary 3 and terrible 2's. Good luck op! I wish I could say it gets easier!

You will find a happy medium that works for you eventually.

We do the reverse to most here. I clean, tidy, do ain etc in the mornings at the weekends from say 7-9.30am as Ds is quite happy with toys and a bit of tv. Then we get out for late morning or just after lunch.

I work full time so it's a pain in the arse in the week, but I try and do an hour's tidying up and sorting out just fret Ds has gone to bed before I sit down for dinner.

I think my only trick is routine and sticking to it even when it's a complete bore. It keeps us on an even keel and when the schedule slips for more than a couple of days I feel so stressed.

Oh yes routine is essential or everything goes to pot for us.

OP can you leave housework for the weekend? I do one clear up before my two go to bed (the toddler helps) but leave cleaning proper for the weekend or every third weekend so dh can help

DD is 3 and very very busy!

I have a cleaner once a fortnight - it is the day to day maintenance of the house and the washing oh the washing that is the trickiest.

Plus I always have admin things and am trying to apply for jobs/do freelance.

So have to do stuff - cannot leave for the weekend.

Ah a mum in mothers group had the audacity to say she doesnt know how I do it yesterday - ie having DD most of the time. She has a nanny 4 mornings for one DC and other is in nursery full time. I was very miffed by this - it is as if she felt sorry for me!

Any suggestions on how to make life easier for yourself? Ie online shopping etc

lill72 that was a compliment in a way! She was probably looking at you, recognised that it is hard work looking after a lo and trying to keep on top of life, and genuinely wondering how you did it!

Dd2 (12mo) has her moments of being clingy limpet-baby and times (usually after meals, when she has a full tummy) when she is quite happy to potter about and play with toys. I pick the latter moments to do the dishwasher, clean the kitchen etc, although I have to close the dishwasher door every time she comes near or she tries to get into it. I'll do some jobs and cleaning when she has her morning nap. The rest of the time we are often out and about - keeps us both occupied and the house can't get destroyed even more if we're not in it!

I only bought a tumble dryer for the first time when ds1 was 18mo and it is my most beloved possession! Maybe tiny exaggeration... but it was a godsend! I have no idea how I dried mountains of underwear and bedclothes prior to that.

We pop to the shop for small amounts of groceries but I mostly order online and do click and collect so we aren't confined to the house for delivery / man knocking when I'm feeding dd2 or she is asleep.

Lower standards and expectations! Days when you feel like you've achieved nothing, remember that you have looked after and tended the needs of a child all day. That child has been fed, is relatively clean, and is happy.

Washing I do a load a day and get it out for drying line or airer before we go anywhere otherwise I don't have a chance. I do use my dryer (easher-dryer) about once or twice a week in the winter. Dd is good at loading the washing machine does that while I make my important first cup of tea for the day.

Groceries delivered at a time when dp is here as he puts them away. I meal plan and write a list when things run out through the week and shopping takes about 30 mins one eve once dds are in bed.

I buy more clothes All DD's clothes are supermarket own-brand etc so we have enough to get through a fortnight without washing, if we have to. Ditto DP and I have enough underwear to get through a fortnight. So I only do washing maybe two or three times a week.

The best tip I heard on MN was just to 5 mins here and there. So if DC is momentarily distracted reading a book or drawing, you've got 5 minutes there to stack the dishwasher, run a duster around etc.

Our house is getting a bit out of control and we don't have a cleaner, but I'm tempted to get an annual spring clean done so we're starting from a clean slate once a year or so.

I think you could look at your to-do list, your expectations, and see if you can bring that down to a more manageable level. Tbh if you have one toddler in nursery part-time and a cleaner twice a month, and you're not averse to using TV to buy some cleaning time (which is good!) then it sounds pretty manageable. Why is there so much washing? What is all this admin? Do you have a partner to do anything?

Definitely do online shopping, get a good cleaning routine in so that you don't need more than half an hour a day for that, make sure your admin is as low-maintenance as possible (direct debits). Do batch cooking and freeze leftovers so you don't have to cook every day.

I just do one wash per week. Put it on last thing at night, tumble dry first thing in morning, take out and sort during nap time. My boyfriend cooks at about 8.30 pm when he gets in from work. We have a cleaner so avoid housework! That way I can play with dd and do toddler type things all day really. Admin and uni work is done after she's gone to bed and before boyfriend gets in. My big tip: get a cleaner!!!! Ours is 20 quid a week and worth double honestly!

I probably made it sound smoother than it is in my house and, like you, I have freelance stuff to get on with - That is the bit that I never get to.

I do admin (necessary phone calls and email check) after breakfast, when toddler and baby fresh and ok to play for a bit, before we go out. Some phone calls I make on the move with the buggy

Our meals are increasingly simple. Baked potato, soup bread & cheese, omelette, quick pasta dishes, and on the weekends we eat out. I never iron and am lucky if clothes come off the washing line.

I wash up once a day - do it all in one go

As someone said above, see what on your to-do list isn't that essential.
On-line shopping is good.
Do you need to wash every day?

DH at the moment leaves the house at 5.30am and gets back at 7.30 pm - long commute. He often cooks when he gets home but everything else left to me. I don't have so much washing but could not leave it a week otherwise it would pile up and get unmanageable. Don;t like to tumble dry all thing as some would shrink. so takes a long time to dry.

But all housework left to me. I would love to be able to do in half an hour - but seems to take longer as I get interrupted and the washing seems fairly labour intensive. I am not ure what I am doing wrong.

Admin - there does seem to be something most days that I have to sort out from banking to looking at schools to all sorts of things. Hmmm...

thank you mummyxtwo - maybe she is looking at me in admiration - a nice way of looking at it. And I love your comment about lowering expectations. Yes, I have got my child through the day , happy and safe! That is an achievement

Thurlow - 5 mins here and there is a good tip,

Thanks for all your suggestions - is really interesting hearing how other people organise their day. Housework has never been my forte - ok when are single or even a couple, but family life has to be more organised.

yes, we put a load of washing in whenever the previous one is dry.
we have 2 clothes horses, so we can do 2 loads every other day in the winter.

as for everything else- have dd eat her breakfast while you wash/dress in the morning. still in her pyjamas. and ds too. then get them ready.
if you're gaving to go out to nursery, ignore everything until you get back.
whenever you go into the bathroom, clean something. so, the basin once you've had your morning wash, the toilet after you've had a poo, the bath once a week after baths, hoover the floor.
tidying children's toys should be done while you're making dinner/other meals, cleaning up activities as soon as they're finished.
wash pots in the evnings (this can be dh's job - it is in house)
we myddle through by doing stuff while waiting for other stuff

and one thing I learned on here - never leave a room empty-handed

I don't normally do much around the house when my son is awake (which means I run around at 7pm like a crazy) but yesterday I gave him a cloth and we 'polished' the mirror. I had the nice chemicals and he just wiped stuff. This morning he had a strop because he wanted to clean the mirror again. He's nearly two but I am thinking of expanding his range.
He'll also load the laundry in the machine (after we've carried things through together and maybe hang a few bits up before he gets bored. Jobs take a LOT longer when you involve your little one but it means you can actually get something done.

As for stuff you can't involve them in (diy/phone calls etc) I have to leave them until he's not around, or have a friend to play with him while I do jobs. Otherwise we both get stressed and grumpy.

Do you have a friend you could swap a couple of hours a week with to get the horrid jobs done?

k

We got up at 5.30 am until ds was 3 so he did have a sleep in the afternoon but we were at the park every single day at 9am without fail whatever the weather! Play group every day and then home at 2 pm and pottered around or slept. He want interested in the Telly sadly!

we get up stupidly early . Getting ready takes a while, but I always get a wash and dishwasher load on before we go out. Out every morning, lunch, ds sleeps and dd watches too much telly. Then playtime, teatime, bedtime (before 7), wine/tv time.

Duct tape