has anyone found parenting classes useful?

[Meglet]

I'm at the end of my tether with the dc's and wondering whether to attend parenting classes. Although to be honest I'm not optimistic as previous HV advice hasn't helped (they've been a bit slopy-shouldered when they realised I'm a LP who works and doing the job of both parents), neither has all the gems I've found on here or the 'how to talk....' book. (Sorry, am having a bad day ).

Are the classes helpful? (Please be kind, I'm trying not to cry on my lunchbreak).

I found them very helpful, mainly for discussing issues with other parents.

thank you .

I've e-mailed the school support lady who organises them, I think something should come up in the new year.

a mate of mine did the Webster-Stratton course when she was struggling with her middle daughter

she really enjoyed it, and felt it was beneficial, both in terms of practical strategies for positive parenting, and in terms of getting support form other parents.

I'd happily give them a go myself, but round here all the classes seem to be when I'm at work

charlotte same here. The ones I have seen advertised in the past have been during working hours. Although it's a struggle for me to get an evening babysitter so I'm not actually sure when I could attend anyway.

Ideally I'd like a lone parent group, but I'm willing to bet they don't exist round here.

saved my life...honestly was at end tether and had spoken to HV and many others..tantrums were horrendous and night terrors too. It completely turned my life around. Did a private one with 4 other parents. Def recommend!!!

it was an evening a week for 4 weeks

i did the Incredible Years course. it was really, really helpful.

Meglet, just a thought: if the "how to talk" book wasn't useful, have you tried "when your kids push your buttons" by Bonnie Harris? I'm not usually into this kind of thing at all but honestly, I bought it in desperation and found myself just nodding in agreement for the first twenty pages and it felt like such a relief!! It delves a bit deep at times but I picked up some key things that changed my relationship with the DCs completely.

What do they teach you? I've tried 1-2-3 magic, How to talk, rewards charts etc, nothing touches the sides with my dc's .

seagulls I haven't actually, but I have heard of it. I'll get it from the library. They're definitely good at button pressing!

I've been to quite a few. Utterly useless. They told me nothing I didn't already know.
They were asking me for advice at the last 2 !!

I did some, it did 3 things for me

1. great to talk to other parents, hear what they do and hear that I am not alone
2. There were lots of ideas, and suggestions which were helpful
3. It made me think about what I was doing and consider how much was what I wanted to do and how much was actually not what I wanted to be doing, and how I could change.

I don't think the one I went to really taught me anything NEW, but I think that perhaps that's the point! sometimes as parents I think we lose our way somewhat and these courses are great at refocusing people.
the Incredible Years course is centred around the book - grab an old copy on Amazon!

I would agree with steppemum and also with reddemonsinthegarden. I found them very useful and would recommend.
I think that Oblomov was missing the point, it is very much things you know anyway, but it is very easy to lose your way when you are tired with the daily grind, and the nice thing is that you are asked for advice and the things that work for you. You are treated as equals and intelligent! The people running them are parents like everyone else and not 'perfect'. That was the whole appeal to me.
It was like any book, I used the bits suited to me and left the things not suited. The main thing is it focuses your mind and makes you think.

seagulls I've ordered the Bonnie Harris book. The Amazon reviews and 'sneak peak' look promising.

Once the parenting classes are organised I'll try and attend one. I will try and go with an open mind.

I found them great. It's not about teaching you stuff you don't know (though it might do that for many people too) it's about getting you to focus and do it in practice as well as theory.

Also they were fun and sociable and I made friends I still regularly see.

I found them useful in that I was able to discuss parenting with other parents. It also helped me to see things from my children's point of view. What was not useful was that I was unable to discuss certain aspects of my son's behavior as it just didn't fit within the parameters of what was considered normal - this was quite alienating (a normal state for parents whose kids don't quite "fit")

Like others, I enjoyed having the opportunity to discuss issues with other parents who were big enough to admit they weren't perfect at it either! I didn't have huge issues, just the usual nagging, moaning, arguing etc

We thought about things from the child's perspective, focused on promoting positive behaviour rather than always pouncing on the negatives and talked about ways to discuss things with children that don't cause anyone to feel unfairly treated.

I must look at the book again for a refresher as it was really helpful at the time.

mydoor - I totally agree with that point, some parents, usually with fairly straightforward kids, just don't get some of the issues I have with ds, and I do/did find it hard when they say ''well we just did xx and it works'' and you think#

1. ds would not respond at all well to xxx

or

1. been there tried that, and 200 others and no, they don't 'just work'

but although there were a couple of parents like that, our leaders were great and never made me feel that way, so maybe good leadership is the key?