11 months old...,how much stuff should I be doing 'for him' per week??

[BotBotticelli]

DS is 11mo and i am a bit worried I am not doing enough activities for him, like playgroups, rhyme time etc etc.

I am not currently enrolled in any 'classes' or anything like that, but I have previously tried to take him to several local church playgroups and things at the library every week.

Now, however, his routine seems to have changed so he needs to nap mid-morning (1030-1100) and mid afternoon (1400-1530)....this means we cant really go to any of the morning or afternoon groups locally.

Am I depriving him by not doing these things, and letting him sleep at home in his cot instead??

It seems like his only outings at the moment are to the shops,and to see his nanna (once a week). I do try to take him to the park to feed the ducks once a week and to the swings once or twice a week but its getting harder as the nights are drawing in. If he wakes up from his nap at 1530 its already getting dark so there's very little we can do.

Just worried that I am letting him down somehow, but he's a nightmare when he hasn't napped properly so I have always tried to plan my days around his sleeps.

Please reassure me this is just a phase and things will get easier once he drops his morning nap??? (Am hoping that when that happens we can start going to all the lovely morning playgroups round here again!)

It will get easier!! Your lo will be just fine, he is learning so much from everything he does whether it is playing with toys at home, watching you, or going out places. One important thing though is that it is just as important to look after your own needs as it is his! It won't do him any good to have a mummy who feels isolated and lonely, so make sure that you do manage to get out and about. My compromise with regard naps (dd2 is now 12mo) is that I try to let her have her longer morning nap at home, then she has her afternoon nap in the carseat more often than not. This has got harder since she moved to a forward-facing carseat, but she will still sleep in it if worn out. At least that way we can get out to places in the afternoons. It's finding a balance between sticking to a routine which you know they are happy in, and trying to make it more flexible. I've found that easier with dd2 than did with ds1, simply because he was my first. And also a case of needs must, as we now have to do the school runs, and ds1 has swimming lessons and playdates. The most important thing I tell myself is that it will not do her any harm if she doesn't have an afternoon nap - at worst, suppertime will be hard work because she'll be crying and limpet-baby, but it won't harm her (just my sanity a little!) Otherwise it is easy to get stressed and anxious when you deviate from the routine, and it is important to keep it in perspective. But no, I don't think he'll miss out from not going to various classes now. Perhaps in a few months when naps become a bit easier to manage or you can create more flexibility it would do you both good to get to some then. Dd2 and I do baby signing and go to our church mums and baby group. The latter is just as much for me as it is for her, as I get to see friends and have some adult convo!

My LO had the same pattern and what I used to do was get up early and straight out to playground/ducks/ soft play/toddler group. Then nap in buggy about 11 or 11.30 (she would probs have an earlier one but I tried to keep her awake for the reasons you talk about) or at home in cot if we had time to get home. After lunch we would go to meet people/shopping/another toddler activity/swimming then about 4 she would have another nap in her buggy. So I guess tweaking with your LO's nap times might be enable you to do a bit more? Don't know where you live but we are London based so I sometimes take her on day trips to say the science museum where there is loads for toddlers and she could just nap whenever in her buggy. However if you are happy and your LO is happy then don't worry! Babies learn loads from being at home an chatting away to their mummies. I am like you though, and always want to do lots of activities!

Thanks ladies that's really helpful .

I think part of the problem is my anxiety about deviating from 'the routine' which he pretty much dictates (I have always followed his tired cues for naps and organise our days around them...changing our activities every few months as his naps have changed). It's just this routine is really annoying!!

Think I need to be a bit braver and just try taking him out in the morning to a baby group, and seeing what happens if he doesn't get to nap until the way home. If he's a screaming overtired mess then I guess I just won't do I again right??