How do i help? i love her soooo much and we are very close, but her ds who is 3 is the devil spawn - sorry i wouldnt usually say that about a child but he is horrific, and she gives him no boundries, nothing! he comes round to my house and i feel myself getting tense, he plays with one toy and then decided he is playing with whatever my ds (same age) is playing with, he just walks over and grabs needless to say my ds goes nuts and objects to which her ds throws his head back and starts crying yelling hurling abuse sobbing he runs to his mum and tells her he had it first he wants it, if that doesnt work he runs back outside and starts to hit my ds either he smacks him or hits him WITH something, my ds kicks back and we have to break it up leaving her ds screaming for about 10 minutes and then sulking and smacking anyone who goes near him (including his baby sister who is only just crawling about) for about half an hour, unitl he goes and plays and then decides he will go down the slide but nobody else is allowed down it and the second they do he kicks off and it all starts again !! Now if my sister is not around he is better, but when she comes back he starts again! She never ever says anything other then "now 'ds' that is naughty you really shoudlnt do that" or "nevermind go and play with something else" she said recently afetr he hit my ds that if he didnt say sorry she would smack his bottom (hurray) but he flat out refused and she said it again, and he refused and so she said it again and of course at this point im beggining to think FGS just sort him out! but in the end he walked off into another room and she just said right yes thats it you go and play in there on your own until you can be nice - im sorry but he knows she isnt going to do anything and he knows he can do anything, and nothing EVER comes of it, he is 3 ffs, what is he going to be like by the time he is 5??!!! he had a strop with me the other day when my sister wasnt here just my mum and i told him he isnt to go upstairs and he just staired at me as he walked past and went upsatirs anyway, i followed him and told him to go down and he stood at the top of the stairs hystericallly screaming at me and trying to kick me! My sister is so lovely and i know she only means to give her children a calm and no smacking and shouting sort of discipline - but he needs more, he slams his baby sisters fingers in the door and then laughs when she is crying, im sorry but if that was my child i would smack his little backside! Is it even worth trying to help? can i even say anything to her? i know telling another mum where she is going wrong is just going to a place where angels fear to tread! what can i do? what do you do when other peoples kids are kids from hell!!!