No way I could read this and run. You are me, twelve weeks ago.
First of all: give yourself a break. You are not a shit mum. Baby needs to be fed, clean and cuddled right now so you are doing a great job by the sounds of it.
My ds won't be put down either, he will manage ten minutes here or there now (and I have gradually built this up over time). Still fights day time sleep too. Sorry if this freaks you out ... I have just learned to deal with it as best I can. Put him in a sling, hold, cuddle, enjoy, watch DVDs.
Please talk to someone in real life about pnd, it comes in all forms and you sound like you could do with someone to talk to and remind you how great you are doing.
I found the newborn stage boring too ... Used to running around for work, then housework, the gym ... Now if I can get us both washed, dressed and to the local shop it's a massive achievement !
He doesn't give sleep or hunger cues either. He goes from happy to a screamer in a second. I am about 50% used to it now lol
He is much more interactive and though at 6 weeks he didn't feel real, when he laughs at me now my heart swells. I am still getting to know him and our bond is growing over time. Once read that a new baby can be like a new love : slow burning and stronger with time. For me this is true, my love grows each day and though I don't yet feel fierce love, I love the quirks in his personality and the way he sucks his thumb and now know that incy wincy spider (which I used to sing to him when he was newborn) is sure fire way to get him to smile.
Sorry if this is too much about me, I just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you feel.
Hang in there, the early weeks are tough. Ignore the housework if you can, find ways to do it if (like me) you can't.
Be kind to yourself.