4yo upset over new baby

[youaremychocolatecake]

I really need some advice as this is upsetting me a lot.
I have a 4.5 year old and a week old baby. I prepared him well for the birth, took him along to scans, involved him, talked to him a lot about babies and what was going to happen. Got him a lovely present from baby etc. and I thought I had it all in hand.
He's a bit highly strung and can be difficult at times. He doesn't really deal well with change but he seemed excited about the baby and he wast main reason for having another as I haven't enjoyed being an only child.
Since bringing baby home, he has been like a different child. Showing off/acting up, refusing bath/bed time, crying about going to school and saying he's sick (heartbreaking) not wanting to leave my side (ie to go to the shops with nanny which he loved) having major tantrums over nothing, crying at the drop of a hat, night waking, bad dreams and yesterday he really cried after school and refused to come back into the house. He won't say it's because of baby and shows genuine love and affection for his new brother but the kid seems genuinely traumatised!!
I have paid him lots of attention, let him help with baby, kept his routine the same and wveything in my power to make sure he doesn't feel pushed out but I look at him and want to cry, he seems so sad like his little world has been destroyed.
Please tell me this gets better? I'm starting to think it's all been a big mistake and maybe i should have left us as a 3. Helllpppp. X x

Sounds incredibly tough. Congratulations on your new baby!
Did DS1 have half term last week? If he doesn't deal with change particularly well, and has gone back to school this week after a week off, it might just be that he wants to be at home with you and the baby as he might feel he's missing out.
I know it's not the same at all but I remember being little and being devastated that I had to go to school when our new kitten was at home! My point is, i think it's likely that he just wants to be with you and the baby.

My DCs all found it tough going back after that first half term in reception - it can throw them a little. Don't worry too much - it would be much more concerning if he were showing anger or aggression towards the baby.
Perhaps a brief word to the class teacher to put your mind at rest that he's happy, and has friends to play at lunchtime and playtimes? As long as you can rule out anything bothering him at school I'd just bide my time and he will probably settle down with your continued support and extra helpings of cuddles.

Don't despair it will get better, and fairly quickly.

I had ds2 in July when ds1 was 3.5. I did all the same preparation as you but pretty much as soon as we got home serious jealousy kicked off (despite lots of attention etc). This manifested itself in very bad behaviour, being extremely clingy to me and being rough with ds2.

It was bad for a few weeks and I was also very sad about it. However with consistent(ish) parenting ie ignoring as far as possible bad behaviour and rewarding good, it has all settled down. There is still the odd moment of resentment (as there will be forever) but he now loves and is used to his baby brother.

Hang on in there (and congrats)

Xx

Sounds familiar! DS was 3 when DD came along and was just the same. Refusing to leave nursery and clinging to staff there until I felt like they were starting to look at me suspiciously - I was mortified...
Am trying to remember how long it lasted - probably 4-6 weeks I'm afraid. Helping with baby didn't seem to help so I didn't push that and he just gradually came round. They've been absolutely fine since.