So ds (7 yr) has NEVER been invited to a party where are we going wrong?

[Arohaitis]

umm that's it really, slight embellishment he was invited to one when he was 2 or 3. He also had an invite to one in the school holidays (very full on kid I joke in private that his party was in the school holidays because his Mum didn't want people to come, literally in the middle of Summer holidays)
He has been at current school 2 years, at the local preschool for 1 year before that.
He had a big (whole class type) party when he left preschool (the way his birthday falls it was just before he started school when he invited lots of the people he is at school with.
He thinks he has friends, he always talks about who he plays with always playing when I am in school, his friends come up to him at the end of the day.
I'm posting this because someone we would consider a family friend as well as someone he would consider a friend (IYSWIM) has just invited 14 other boys but left my son out despite telling him yesterday he was invited.
Are we doing something wrong?
(I feel pathetic posting this, it is like I am asking you all if I smell or something I don't!! But my husband and I were discussing this and husband reacted by telling me he wants ds to move school!!!!!)

Tricky. Do you have parties for him? Do play dates? Socialise with the mums!

Is it possible the invitation has gone astray? Its so hard when you feel your child is not being included. Can I ask is it all the boys in the class bar yours that have been invited?

Is there anything about your DS that you think might make people avoid inviting him?

You don't mention any special needs - that shouldn't stop him being invited, but from what I've seen on here, DCs with ASD or ADHD or physical disabilities can sometimes be left out. I assume he doesn't have a history of being violent a bit too boisterous? See lots of previous party threads for examples of people not wanting to invite children who have a reputation for lashing out etc.

If you see him playing with other children, does he seem to be fitting in and playing normally with everyone, or does he seem to need to be in control and bossing everyone around? Or is he just so quiet that people don't notice him or forget about him?

If none of those things apply, it sounds rather sad. Is the 'family friend' who left him out someone you could talk to about this?

are you sure the invitation from the family friend hasn't just gone missing?

what's the protocol in school for handing out invites? is it possible they're getting left in his drawer or something?

Um, if he told your son that he was invited, why didn't you go?

OK
Yes he has parties, last one was a biggie he is due another which will be late (I had to work away from home) don't have too many playdates we have lots of after school stuff and live a drive away from the school.
The Mum of the current invite always approaches me for a chat after school we have an overdue wine evening pending they are in the same class same grout of friends, same cubs, football etc TBH I was really surprised he didn't get an invite
Invites were handed out at break by child he told ds yesterday he was invited told him today he could come next year.

I am not sure whether all the boys have been invited, I suspect not I said 14 to illustrate that it wasn't a 2 best friend sleepover or 4 friends to cinema type party

No special needs at all, he is a nice straightforward boy very much a boys boy in a crowd of boyish boys he is physical but no more so than many of the others and definitely less so than the boy with the mid summer birthday, hence the joke about the Mum not 'wanting' to have a party filled with similar boys!! He is definitely not a hitter, biter etc type physical just very athletic!!

I think there a just kids who get overlooked. My DS was invited to some parties last year but not all of them. Some kids who are more... Confident? I don't know what, got invited to them all. I think they are to the fore of kids minds.

I had a big chat with a mum about potential venues and numbers to invite for her sons party, and her child had been to DSs party and he wasn't invited to the other child's.

Thanks
I just feel sorry for him he told me yesterday he was sad!

Wips that is just so cheeky, some people have no 'shame' there is mo way I could do that

Our school now have strict policy of unless all children in class, or all girls or all boys are invited in the class, invites are to be sent in post, emailed or given to the teacher to place in book bags so not to make others feel bad. This was a decision made after several parents invited all bar one child to parties(which is just bloody mean)
If only a few are going I would just try and not talk too much about it, so your son does not get upset. Can you perhaps speak to the teacher about how he is doing in school re friendships? I really hope he is not too upset, he sounds like a perfectly normal 7 year old

God my heart breaks when they say they are sad, I know kids can be mean but in these circumstances the parents have the final say!

In this case I would mention it to the parents and say that he hasn't had one invite. They may not realise how thoughtless they have been ?