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Would you buy your 3 year old a barbie?

16 replies

Hermione123 · 05/11/2013 19:28

Hmmm seriously in need of advice, DD (3 yo) is absolutely into everything girlie and she found a huge stockpile of barbies at nursery and was fixated today. She wants one for Christmas. What do you think? Are there better alternatives? In general, if you have a girl that looooves everything sparkly/glittery/shoes/clothes, have you had any luck getting them interested in other things, and if so, how?

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Floggingmolly · 05/11/2013 19:31

Yes. What is it with Barbie that gets people in a lather? It's a doll, it's no more a role model than My Little Pony is.

ZuleikaD · 05/11/2013 19:36

No. Of course it's a role model, because it's a pretend-person, not a pony, and children understand the difference. If Barbie was able to do anything useful (consultant surgeon Barbie has yet to take the market by storm) then fine, but it presents adult women as vapid, shallow idiots unable to take an interest in anything other than clothes, hair, makeup and accessories.

middleclassdystopia · 05/11/2013 19:51

I agree ZuleikaD.

Although I played with Barbie and now i'm strongly feminist. Maybe she stirred my anger Hmm

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WidowWadman · 05/11/2013 19:56

If she really wants it, let her have it. But get her the Paleantologist or president and maybe a space suit to go with it

Hermione123 · 05/11/2013 20:02

I like the president one! It's the completely unrealistic body type that bothers me too - and I had an eating disorder so probably quite sensitive to this stuff. but she loves them - i don't think it'll go away, i know from the determined little look on her face when she loves something.

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Lalaloopsydaisy · 05/11/2013 20:05

My dd is the same and I am also not a big fan of barbies (although not really sure why). We have lots of sylvanian family things that are really cute and some fairies that are keeping her happy at the moment. I have also bought some second Hand lego princess palace type bits for Xmas. Lots of glittery sparkly bricks and flowers that they don't seem to make anymore.

WinterOfOurDiscontent · 05/11/2013 20:05

I really like the astronaut one!

ItsWarmerInTheSouth · 05/11/2013 20:09

Yes of course! It's not the ideal toy, but its just a toy and she'll love it and then go off it soon after, only to want something else. She will only want one more if you don't get her one... It's just a toy. It'll make her happy! It doesn't mean she's going to turn into the girl equivalent of a Barbie doll...

ZuleikaD · 06/11/2013 06:52

The thing that always bothers me (and I didn't use to be as much of a feminist as I now am, in fact would have been horrified to be so described) is that the context has changed so much. When I was a child in the 70s and 80s toys weren't segregated at all. Toys like Lego, construction kits, toolboxes and the like were marketed to children in general, not just boys. Now we have a situation where toys, careers and activities have a defined gender, and not just toys. Animals have been divided between the genders too - so sharks, dinosaurs and monsters are boys' animals and girls are limited to puppies, kittens and possibly fish. Just take a look on ebay at any child item - say, sleepsuits. The girls' ones are exclusively pink (or perhaps red), and anything that carries the least hint of being-out-in-the-world-doing-stuff is designated as boys! I'm bidding at the moment on a Pixar Cars sleepsuit which is for DD because she loves the film, but can you find a 'girls' Cars sleepsuit? Of course you can't. They're listed everywhere as for boys.

Sorry, I know this is a bit of a random rant, but I don't think you can take a toy like Barbie completely out of context and say 'it's just a doll' - when girls' options are so limited, more so than they have been for decades, I think toy choice is crucial.

Bearandcub · 06/11/2013 06:55

Personally no. I loathe them and their alien measurements, obsession with pink and delicate girly activites that evidence vulnerability weakness and frailty.

Sorry.

MigGril · 06/11/2013 07:00

I bought DD the Disney princess dolls at that age as she loved playing with the Barbies at preschool. Not ideal as it doesn't sit to well with me either. But figgered I loved sindy as a small child and still went into a male dominated work roll and have never been really girly since.

I'm not happy the way they genderies all toys nowadays either but have always encouraged DD to have what ever she likesand has lots of Lego and cars and things to.

ohmeohmyforgotlogin · 06/11/2013 07:02

Get a lottie doll instead.

usualsuspect · 06/11/2013 07:04

Yes I would.

madwomanintheatt1c · 06/11/2013 07:11

No, but it didn't occur to me to ban all unapproved gifts from ancient far away rellies, so dd1 got one by default (and then a gazillion more - so they have been around since birth for the other two).

If it helps, this was over ten years ago and she's a science geek with a garage tap habit now.

Read 'Cinderella ate my daughter'.

They lose interest in barbies by 5 or 6 now - as long as you aren't limiting her options, there is no reason to expect that a barbie at 3 will pre-determine her life of gendered misery. Honest. And I'm a paid up member of the Fawcett Society.

I have one teen girl that wants to be a judge, and a teen with undisclosed sciencey engineering ambitions (potentially medical engineering design - who knows). And an almost teen boy who wants to be an architect. All three had unfettered access to Barbie (and pretty much everything else, including guns) from very early. None of them have any desire to starve themselves and dress in pink, not even my son (who does love his dance class - maybe he caught that from playing barbie with his sisters?) They weren't aware of the rule that said if you choose this dolly at three, you would catch misogyny. Indeed, it may have made them more aware of it.

Toy choice is indeed crucial. Let them have them all.

My barbie (actually a sindy - I only owned one) used to thoroughly enjoy using the zip wire we built from the upstairs window to the apple tree. Clearly I hadn't read the rule that said dollies must be kept indoors and only played with under strictly gendered conditions either.

Imaginations are fun. There's no reason that Barbie has to stifle the imagination, just because the marketers try.

stealthsquiggle · 06/11/2013 07:19

My personal experience of determined small girls suggests that it will become more and more of an issue if she doesn't get one. OTOH, if you get her one then she may quickly realise the limited play possibilities (and that Mummy is not interested in playing too) and go off them - maybe [hopeful]?

My DD (just 7) has one Barbie-like doll (cheap fake which she was given as a party bag equivalent) and does like that she has one because some of her friends have them, but she really doesn't play with it at all and if she wants to do role play games it is more likely to be with random animals or with her soft dolls - she has one "baby" one when she wants to be the parent and a lilydoll when she wants a "friend"

SatinSandals · 06/11/2013 07:28

Not giving her one is the sure way to make it highly desirable! Why make it so? Give her one, it is only a toy and the phase will pass.

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