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Parenting

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Original poster

New... and very tired... parents. Help?

15 replies

DaddyThunder · 04/11/2013 06:31

Hey folks.

our little one has been good as gold up until the three week mark. He ate, then pooped, then slept... it was a golden time... but now;

We think it's colic, though we are using Infacol and Dr Browns bottles, but at the moment he is eating every hour, sometimes giving us a wonderful possety gift. obviously after the upchuck he gets hungry again.

no matter how much we wind him, the only way to get him to go to sleep is to have him lying on our chest...

any tips on ways we could improve his sleeping would be greatly welcomed.

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Sid77 · 04/11/2013 06:39

He could be having a growth spurt... My 3 week old DS is the same, eating pretty much constantly all day long. It won't last. Is your DC bfd? If so then they are also busy regulating the supply so need to feed more.
Plus, 3 weeks is still pretty tiny, they are new to the world and want the comfort of you. Everyone says enjoy this stage as they really aren't 'newborn' for long!

Original poster

DaddyThunder · 04/11/2013 06:53

I would enjoy it just fine if I didn't have work in two hours not been to sleep yet. fingers crossed.

hes combi fed, so not sure if that's impacting. ..

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KatAndKit · 04/11/2013 07:01

Its so common for tiny babies to want to sleep on a person. If you are formula feeding, try splitting the night into two six hour shifts. Six hours each of sleep is just enough to manage ok the next day. Keep a Moses basket downstairs so if the baby does sleep in it, the parent on duty can doze on the couch to get a bit closer to their 8 hours.
obviously it is not safe to fall sleep yourself on the sofa with a baby on your chest. If you are too tired to take your turn it is better to set up your bed for safe co sleeping.
i found with mine that swaddling him, rocking to sleep and then cuddling till he was really fast asleep made it easier to put him down. When i put him down i kept my hand on his tummy for a little bit and jiggled very gently. I also gave him a dummy.

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cantthinkofagoodone · 04/11/2013 07:05

Read about the fourth trimester, it doesn't make it easier but helped me to understand.

If your lo is sick after a feed it can be that he is posseting the excess or it can be reflux. Most babies are refluxy in the beginning but to varying degrees. Ask your hv if you're concerned.

Once I worked out that I had to get my lo to sleep rather than him just sleeping when he was tired it helped to prevent the overtired evenings. I was naive!

Sid77 · 04/11/2013 07:05

Can you divide and conquer? My DP is sleeping in the spare room as he has to work. He gets some sleep and then helps me out with the baby when he gets home so that I can have a bit of a break. At least one of us is functioning close to normal. It is hard - particularly the sleep deprivation, it feels like forever but it won't last.

Iheartcrunchiebars · 04/11/2013 07:09

This is like us exactly. Just woken up and can't even remember going to bed at 530. I hope you get some answers because I'm a bit desperate now.

Goandplay · 04/11/2013 07:12

My twins are 8 months old and we were only saying last night how far we have come since the newborn days. We really didn't get to enjoy them because it was so hard. The only way to cope is to do as someone already suggested is to split the night into shifts. We couldn't let them sleep on us because there was two of them and often one of us but when we could we did give in so we got some peace and we then started to slowly correct it from about 8/12 weeks and they now go to sleep very well on their own.

I really recommend the book Your Baby Week By Week it gives you information about growth spurts and what to expect each week in nice small chunks.

Good luck.

KatAndKit · 04/11/2013 07:18

You definitely need to divide and conquer. Just because you work doesn't mean you get all the sleep but you do need at least a five hour stretch in order to drive safely. There is no point both of you being awake all the time. The best system is for your wife to go to bed extra early for her sleep while you stay up with the baby. Watch some dvds with the baby sleeping on your chest. Do the late evening feed. Try to settle in Moses basket and have a snooze. When the baby next wakes up at say 1am, she takes over and you sleep in peace with earplugs in till you need to get up for work. It is crap not being able to spend any time together but this is survival mode and it will get better in a month or two when your baby has some idea about day and night.

loopdaloo · 04/11/2013 07:19

My lo one was like this, terrible wind keeping me up til all hours. Infacol before every evening feed jas now stopped the wind. She has gone through a growth spurtand ccome out the other end much better. 7 weeks old today and the last few nights I have put her into moses basket awake after a 10/11ish feed and she has self settled and then only woken for one feed through the night. It does get better! She is ebf and with my first I fed to sleep then had to do sleep training when she was a bit older. With this one I am determined to have her self settle from a young age. When I put her down she mutters a lot and makes sucking noises but takes herself off to sleep so presumably doesn't actually need to feed!

It's all trial and error, do what you need to do to stay sane, if you're safe there's no harm in letting them on you in the early days, it's to be expected when they've been inside for so long! Good luck!

ugglyboots · 04/11/2013 07:19

Oh I feel for you, the newborn stage is so challenging.

Around three weeks newborns usually have a big growth spurt, it's like however much you feed them it's not enough. You can help this by either pumping milk after the feed (not much will come out but it will encourage the breasts to produce more) or by increasing the amount of formula.

Re the colic, it might be worth trying a different type of formula. I've heard hipp organic can be gentler.

Also, what saved our lives was a dummy. I really didn't want to have one but my DS loved it and it really calmed him down when he was distressed. He spat it out for good at 6 months so no long term issues. We used Mam.

When the baby reaches 1 month try gripe water if still windy.

If you get really desperate and can afford it get a maternity nanny or night nanny for a few nights. They will let you sleep for a night and have some tips.

oscarwilde · 04/11/2013 16:18

Try raising one end of the moses basket/cot a little so he's on an incline. It helps digestion slightly. Sleeping on top of you is quite normal around 3 weeks as is the constant feeding. Just have to get through the next 3 weeks and it will start to improve.

Definitely divide and conquer especialyl if you are mix feeding. You two can catch up in a few weeks. Come home from work with a ready meal for two, settle in with the tv remote and a baby after dinner and send your partner off to bed. Hand over at midnight and get some sleep yourself. Just be careful that you are both sleeping in a way that your son isn't endangered if you doze off. Sleeping in separate rooms for a few weeks/months is a life-saver. Your wife can feed lying down and then just move off to the other side of the bed leaving the baby outside the duvet.

Check you are not overfeeding, topping up with formula - if he is posseting all the time [the feeding thread here will help] and still putting on weight, he may just be getting too much food. My DD1 didn't seem to have an off switch and as a newborn I misunderstood all the grizzling as hunger rather than tiredness and started topping up with formula. She went from 50 - 95% percentile....
Or it could be reflux or colic - what time of day is it all gettign a bit fraught at?

Newmum0113 · 04/11/2013 16:59

Hi daddythunder we've had exactly the same - we had to stop BFing as our DD can't latch properly (not checked for tongue tie yet) and would just get so agitated and take on too much air and have such bad colicky wind.

Now we've been bottle feeding only for 10 days it is improving rapidly, although we still have the odd bad night every other day or so, it's not constant though, nor after every single feed now.

We are using aptamil comfort - what are you using? Also, for us, the infacol did nothing so we switched to dentinox instead.

Ask your health visitor for advice, ours was
really helpful. She also advised us not to make too many changed too quickly as the baby is only just getting used to life on the outside, adjustment periods are required.

Hth

Original poster

DaddyThunder · 04/11/2013 18:22

the other half went to the gp just now. looks like its just wind but he prescribed colief... so hopefully that will do better. please cross your fingers for us. not sure I can do another 1 hour sleep then full work day

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minipie · 04/11/2013 20:43

make sure LO is getting enough naps in the day. up till 4 weeks they sleep whenever they are tired which is most ofthetime. At about 4 weeks something happens and most babies start to need some help to sleep even when they are tired (massive design flaw!) - rocking, feeding, moving pram, sling etc. ignore Gina ford type books which say they should put themselves to sleep - most babies will not do this at this age. if they don't get enough sleep in the day (they need LOaDS) it will be very difficult to get them to sleep at night.

Original poster

DaddyThunder · 05/11/2013 02:58

Hey folks. thanks for your ideas. we have been prescribed colief and it seems (touching ALL the wood) to be working.

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