what to do?

[bamboozleslover]

just posted this in parenting but thought this may be a more suitable place for it.

anyway in a few months time i may be going to uni if i can decide whether i want to go or not. my ds will be only 2 months old and if i decide to go it will mean leaving him for a few days every week with my parents and then coming home for a few days to see him. not sure of the exact structure - it will depend on my timetable. anyway if i decide i can do this (at the moment i'm not sure i can) i have to decide whether to say goodbye to ds here (so I can't keep putting off saying goodbye and will have to get in the car and that will be that) or whether my parents should bring him to cardiff (where uni is) so i get the most time with him possible and say goodbye there. it is going to be so hard either way. even writing this has brought tears to my eyes

I am in awe of you though ll - how the heck did you manage a degree with baby brain?!

I also echo NdP. I'm doing my first degree and I'm 38

So it is never too late

Well Reginald, I did ENGLISH I had a VERY light timetable. My friend whose circumstances were the same as mine did a science based degree and found it much harder. Looking back though my first modules after dd was born really let me down, if it wasn't for them I'd have got a first. Got a 2:1 though, which I am chuffed with

but all degrees are hard work (congrats on your 2:1 by the way)!

curious because I'm doing social sciences - got a heavy timetable next year then I was thinking of ttc in october 2008, but I am worried that I'll never be able to complete the degree (I'll be 2/3 of the way through it by then) - you're giving me hope though!

Well, I think its all about timing. Completely by coincidence, dd was concieved at the end of September (and no, not in freshers week, as everyone delights in asking!) and was born a bit late, so came at the end of June, when all my assignments had been handed in. This gave me the summer break to recouperate and get into a routine. But to be honest taking a break from my degree was not something I seriously considered - I barely coped financially with my student loan so couldn't imagine NOT having it. Being single gave me extra drive I think - I had no other choice but to make my own choice and stick with it, and I also didn't have to consider anyone else's timetable. Its been me and dd all the way, and I cant wait to get pictures of her in my mortarboard next friday

i don't often write advice i i can't sort my own life - but lots of unis have distance courses and with webct and other virtual learning environments you can do so much more from home - so it might be worth while finding a uni further away that has a well developed webct that you could attend less frequently thereby allowing you to say at home more with your DS

hi just thought i'd update people. well i did decide to go on the grounds that if i didn't at least try it i would always wonder maybe i could have done it and that if i absolutely hate i can always leave. most of you will probably think im a heartless bitch who couldn't care less about her son, but this is not true. i love him so so so much, but i do believe because i do not really know him as a person yet(by this i mean he doesn't talk, or even really know who i am. that didn;t come out quite right but i'm not really sure how to word it without sounding really naive.) anyway i've been there two weeks and it turns out all my lectures are tuesday to thursday so i've crammed all my seminars into those days too. i come home every thursday night and go back to cardiff every monday night. it actually means i spend more time here than at uni which is brilliant! IMO its really not that different to people who work full time and come home late at night and their kids are already in bed. i did worry he wouldn't bond with me but as it has turned out i will be looking after him much more than i thought and loads of children only see one of their parents at weekends etc and they all cope fine.
however saying all this it is only my 3rd week, and my feelings could all change, but at the moment even though i am missing him it isn't in a heartbreaking i can't go on doing this sense.
sorry for the lengthy essay!! if only i could do a 2500 word essay on MN to pass my course instead!!