I feel like Ihave come to the end of my parenting book, I turned to find the next chapter and there isn't one!!

[NeverKnowinglyUnderstood]

Also known as how do I deal with my 10 year old boy!!!
my toddler/young child techniques are tired and don't seem to work anymore
He has started reacting to me in a "so make me" kind of way.
He knows I cant physically make him, he knows I will take things away and doesn't care. He knows he will lose rewards and positive things. He doesn't care.

His behaviour isn't terrible, he is generally a good chap but there are times I need him to do certain things within a certain timescale and Idon't know what to do!

eg, at the dentist. come on in it is our turn. "no" your brother has finished you need to get in the dentist chair "no" thankfully we have known our dentist for a long time and she came and did the examination in the waiting chair commenting "you don't get out of it that easily buster" and afterwards she was positive about his teeth and cleaning skills.

However I am now thinking about what we do with that attitude in a different situation.
Ideas??? help???

Evening JJJ.
How has your week been?

DS1 had a lovely time away and yesterday was brilliant but today we have our grumpy goat back. He just couldn't bring himself out of it for mums birthday lunch, it was only just as we were leaving that the iceberg melted.

By the time we got home he was lovely it is just a shame it hadn't passed for my Mum, she spent alot of time over lunch trying to cajole him out of it.

We will just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

It's been a bit better thanks but its been partly easier because DH has been home and dd is a little better.

He did have a massive strop last night when he wanted to watch Star Wars and we were watching strictly. Tried to offer him the chance to watch the film in our room, he didn't want that. I genuinely think he was just testing to see how much he could get away with. We've had a friends dd this week and she just dictates to her parents how it's going to be and they just oblige. She also talks to grown ups with no respect. Don't think she believes she is my equal, I think she believes she's my superior!

So he's seen her get away with murder again, not so much with me though, and I think he thought he'd have a go at dictating how our Saturday night would be.

Cue a talk about how he's 9 and he can't choose what's happening, yes we will take his point of view into account but on this occasion he has been outvoted and even if he was a grown up, it would just be the same.

Massive strop but we didn't back down and he ended up watching the film in our room.

It's just all so out of character for him. He rarely tantrummed when he was little, he has always been really good at expressing himself and he seems really happy at school.

Is it really just his age?

you know I really think it may be..
I read the chapter in that usbourn book about your relationship changing with your parents. It was interesting reading the - you feel like you are old enough to make all the decisions for your life and yet your parents still feel they should do it.

That is really how it feels at the moment. the idea that now he is capable of making educated choices we should all bow to his desires. The word compromise and adapting your choices to meet the needs of others is one long lesson to learn.

DS1 today really honestly felt that we should leave him at home whilst we went to Lunch with my M&D. He felt confident to stay here and make his lunch and sort himself out.

The clear answer is NONONONONO.

Do you think they've been separated at birth