Newborn sleep deprivation- any ideas? Tv And lights on a bad idea?

[Manc451]

Hi, my newborn is just 3 weeks old. I'm getting about 2 hours sleep a night, usually not together and feel horrendous. Sitting around the house in no makeup, bit tearful and feeling bad for my poor other half. I've noticed he sleeps well during the day in front of the tv and in desperation kept the tv and lights on last night. It helped a bit (although he was either awake or griping after 1am). I've ask so tried a bottle of formula last thing as opposed to breastfeeding, although feel very (irrationally?) guilty about it. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

sounds pretty normal to me.

My DC didn't sleep until they were 12 months old >sorry if that's not helpful!<

Keep with the breastfeeding, as giving formula will lower your milk supply. I breastfed my two for 11 months each, and I remember in the early weeks, early months feeding ALL the time. It is draining, but worth it in the end.

He's still very small and likely has his days and nights mixed up. Try to ride the wave and over the next few weeks he'll settle a bit.

With my two I always tried to teach them difference between day and night - so in the evening I'd keep lights low and not as much noise. It can be a bugger for you if you're breastfeeding constantly, but reading books by lamplight will become your friend.

Try reading this. It might help you to think about the day in timeslots but try not to get hung up on it if your baby thinks differently.
noobmommy.com/2008/12/easy-routine-from-baby-whisperer.html

It's hard - your DC doesn't know night from day as yet and is probably still feeding every 3 hrs or so? Personally, I'd resist keeping the lights and TV on after 8pm unless he/she is napping in the living room with you and your partner. You want to start helping them differentiate day from night with noise, light levels, your voice etc.

Sorry you're feeling crap, but the truth is you could have many more weeks of this to go - do what you can to survive. If you think TV and lights work then do it - you can worry about a routine later.

DS2 is 5 months old, we kept him downstairs with us until our bedtime (letting him sleep on a pillow after feeding him on sofa or in moses basket) until 10 weeks when we took him upstairs at 7pm, that wasn;'t working and after 4 weeks, we just took him back downstairs with us until bedtime.

last week, we started again with upstairs and he's taken to it okay now and is having a nap at 7:30pm.

Don't worry about the bottle of formula and guilt - it won't hurt, and some bfeeding mums I know always give a bottle of formula about 7pm (so their OH can get involved in bedtime routine). On the other hand there is no evidence at all that a bottle of formula will help him sleep better. At 3 weeks their tummies are tiny and milk gets utilised very quickly and they need fed more. Additionally their digestive system takes a while to mature and they can have lots of tummy pain the first 3 months which stops them sleeping well.

On the plus side - it does and will get better! Enjoy these moments, wear a sling round the house and see if that helps him nap better (better naps often mean better night time sleeps), use tv/white noise if it works, feed him to sleep, rock him to sleep, use the pram to help him nap, co-sleep - basically try all the things that work that people tell you not to do - do what you can to get through, babies can get into a routine at any age, don't worry about it now.

Agree with those who've said don't bother with the formula - it won't help him sleep and will affect your supply of milk.

The early weeks can be hard, especially towards the end of the day when your own blood sugar is low and you can feel at the end of your tether and very tearful. A few things that have helped me:

1. There are times when you are pinned to the sofa. Do not, ever, ever think "oh he can't possibly be hungry he only had a feed 20 minutes ago." He's trying to boost your supply by sucking. It's also an important source of comfort and reassurance. Feed to sleep whenever possible.

1. The more physical contact he has with you, the quicker his system will settle down. That's why wearing babies in a sling is SO effective. He will sleep on you and the more sleep and physical contact he gets during the day, the better he will sleep at night. Don't fall for the myth that babies like to sleep in Moses baskets or cots. They don't.

1. His system isn't used to daylight yet, so it's crucial to help him learn the difference between night and day. He needs darkness at night and light during the day. Particularly fresh air.

What will make most difference at the moment are a) getting out of the house during the day and b) wearing your baby in a sling.

Good luck. This will pass. Newborns can be tough but you will look back at these weeks and they'll have passed in a flash.

Well - I did always try to separate night from day but it's boring sitting with them in the dark! It will get better - I read that 6 weeks is when the shift to behaving differently at night ....

If you want to give a bottle for a rest or so your partner can help please don't feel bad about it

If you are breast feeding the rest of the time it will not affect your supply people worry too much about that

Although it won't help the baby sleep - in fact breat milk has sleep inducing hormones in it in the evening .....so baby is more likely to sleep after a feed

Congratulations on your new baby.
I agree with others about the diffrence between day and night. At night I would feed dd until she feel asleep then change her happy to wake her a bit then feed again. Always with no lights and no tv. She was breast feed and always slept well. (Not saying this will work for yours they are all very different)
Check for signs of acid reflux just incase.
Sleep during the day, exept all the help you can from your relatives friends etc.
Good luck

With DS I kept nights boring and dark and daytimes nice and bright. We were in hospital for a week at the beginning and I actually think that helped 'set' his night and day right from the start. Until 6 weeks he stayed downstairs with us in the evenings, and then we had bath and bed around 6/7ish and then bed. Gradually he began to settle for longer stretches in the evenings.

Thanks for all the advice. Did suspect the light trick might backfire, but I think desperation had hit. He's feeding no more than 2 hours apart at night, which means sleeping for one hour at a time or not at all - the midwife said its a growth spurt, he's put on 13 oz in a week! Going to try to reinforce the night and day thing. Not sure about the evening bottle, as you say it hasn't helped with the sleeping but it has been great to put my head down at 7 while my other half looks after him and know I'm getting a proper couple of hours. Fingers crossed it starts to get better!

By the way...I was pondering the suggestion on reflux. He's throwing up after every feed (sometimes a lot and wanting to feed again immediately) and sounds like he's slightly choking when I put him down, along with lots if grimacing and whinging. Is that normal or could it be reflux?

Read this out of interest for our 3 week old, and zul, what brilliant advice. Feel those suggestions have already proved themselves here

Hi just wanted to say thanks again for your advice. Good news, he's 8 weeks and sleeping! I made a big deal of the difference between night and day, feeding him in the dark as you suggested Twerking9. Didn't do the sling because I didn't want him to become dependent on me for sleep (not sure everyone will agree on that one). The other thing I realised was that he was feeding too much (and then it came back up and he couldn't sleep)- realised he just enjoyed sucking and didn't need to feed that much - so a feeding routine helped too. Thank you, I feel like I'm really enjoying it now!

That's great news, well done