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Parenting

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Original poster

Bottom washing?!

21 replies

Spiderlady123 · 28/10/2013 20:20

This sounds utterly mad and I'm embarrassed so I've name changed, but I don't know how to teach my dd (aged 4) to wash her bottom properly and she keeps getting red, sore and smelly.

This is really upsetting me as I don't know how to handle it.

I think that at 4 she should be able to wash herself with a bit of help, eg me putting a bit of baby soap on the flannel and her doing the washing then rinsing herself off in the bath. However, although she has a bath every night she just waves the flannel vaguely over her bottom and that's it, it's clearly not getting her clean and she's often saying her bums sore both front and back.

DH says I should show her what I do but this is what I'm not sure of. In the bath I would get up out of the water, soap a flannel, squat down, give it all a once over with a soapy flannel, then plonk back down into the bath to rinse. In the shower I squat down, wash myself with soap, rinse with the shower then stand up and wash the rest of me. Is this normal though?

What do other people do? Is it ok to teach her to squat to wash herself?

I'm sorry this is such a ludicrous question but I feel like I'm failing her because of my own hang ups. (I had a very repressed upbringing so I try to be open with her.)

Any advice really gratefully received. TIA.

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solveproblem · 28/10/2013 20:25

She's probably getting red because you're using soap! Only wash lady parts with water.

littlegem12 · 28/10/2013 20:26

I think all of the above is acceptable to wash yourself in the bath, anything that gets the job done.
Maybe make sure she deffo takes time to wipe properly in the bathroom after toilet though, four year olds can be rushy/ miss bits.
Those flushable wipes are good.

runningonwillpower · 28/10/2013 20:27

I think at that age, I just washed her bottom.

I don't think I ever consciously taught my daughter to wash her bottom

I did it, then she did it. But I'm sure she was older than 4.

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breatheslowly · 28/10/2013 20:28

I agree with what solveproblem said - water only.

Original poster

Spiderlady123 · 28/10/2013 20:32

Thanks. I use soap on myself though with no ill effects. I use just a little bit of baby soap on a flannel, is that really so bad? I do the same for my 1 year old and she's never sore. I rinse very thoroughly.

DD1 definitely doesn't wipe properly, I've tried unscientific toddler wipes but it didn't make much difference.

Should I teach her to squat down to wash though or is that weird?

OP posts:

Original poster

Spiderlady123 · 28/10/2013 20:32

Unscented not unscientific!

OP posts:

Orangeanddemons · 28/10/2013 20:33

I still wash Dd's bum age 7. If she does it, we are up all night with itchy bottoms. Not sure a 4 year old would be thorough enough, and if it smells, then she definitely isn't.

Original poster

Spiderlady123 · 28/10/2013 20:36

Ah orange you see I was washing her but then my sister said she was too old for me to be doing it and it was infantilising so I tried to get her to do it herself. This is so confusing. My sister reckoned her kids got perfectly clean in a bath without soap. Mine need soap or they don't smell clean.

OP posts:

hettienne · 28/10/2013 20:36

I would wash her bum properly with baby wash/soap.

Her vagina doesn't need washing with soap. A flannel round the outside bits and sitting in the bath is fine - don't see why she'd need to squat down.

geologygirl · 28/10/2013 20:37

Washing with that soap is probably not helping. ..particularly if its every night? When I have baths every night with radox etc I very quickly get irritated. I would stop the soap and stick with water.

Original poster

Spiderlady123 · 28/10/2013 20:39

How do you get at their bum properly though? Should i lie her on the floor like a baby? I don't try to wash her vagina with soap, but definitely her bum as she doesn't wipe properly.

OP posts:

hettienne · 28/10/2013 20:41

I get DS to stand up, soap him all over and just use my hand to wash his bum. I'm not a fan of flannels though.

AHardDaysWrite · 28/10/2013 20:42

I wouldn't squat as that naturally opens the labia and you don't want soap going inside there. A bit of mild soap is fine on the outside to freshen your pubes up, but you don't want it going any further. Can't she wash inside her bum crack with a flannel?

HotCrossPun · 28/10/2013 20:42

You need to make sure she is wiping her bum properly after going to the toilet. If she is smelly then that will be wear it is originating from.

Soaping up, squatting and scrubbing herself with a flannel is a recipe for soreness. And completely unnecessary. She is only small, the only way she can possibly be smelly is if she isn't wiping her bottom properly at all, which is easy to fix.

Could you get moist toilet roll for her to use?

PeggyCarter · 28/10/2013 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

likelytoasksillyquestions · 28/10/2013 20:51

I'm an adult and I use baby wipes after a poo. Just naicer.

Agree that 'squat and rub' is likely to be bad idea for her vulva (I know you are not encouraging her to wash her vulva this way but in practice I think it's a hard distinction for a 4yo). I'd wash her bottom as she stands up, along with the rest of her.

Worth trying a different soap/body wash, though?

AHardDaysWrite · 28/10/2013 21:14

Likely, what do you do with them afterwards? Can't flush them... I wouldn't fancy carting them down to the wheely bin.

Artandco · 28/10/2013 21:23

Huh? Iv never squatted down to wash

I would think at 4 a bath with quick wipe over with bath water should be fine. I would only use a baby wash in bath/ childs bath bubble also so no irritation

Clargo55 · 28/10/2013 21:32

People please please do flush anything other than human waste and toilet paper down the loo.

No moist wipes
No baby wipes
No 'flushable' wipes
No sanitary wear

They do not degrade once flushed and block up the sewers massively. We have to pay every year to have the drains unblocked due to our neighbours flushing tampons and wipes

The local river has also had panty liners left stuck to the trees after a flood.

Yes they 'flush' but they do not degrade. Even expensive toilet paper can take ages to break down.

Clargo55 · 28/10/2013 21:32

Do not* flush.

likelytoasksillyquestions · 28/10/2013 21:33

HardDay, I fold them up and stick them in the bathroom bin. Given the amount of poo on them (not very much), they seem less icky to have hanging around in the bin for a day or two than used sanitary towels and wet nappies, which also spend a day or two in my bathroom bin.

[grim]

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