Were you an only child? Do you now have two or more DCs of your own? Come and chat :)

[fuzzpig]

Having grown up an only child, many of the aspects of having two DCs are still completely baffling to me. I think it's one of those things where you can't really imagine the other side from the way you grew up (ie either having at least one sibling, or not having any).

Mine are DD 6 and DS 4. I absolutely love having two, and am full of happiness hearing them so happy to see each other when they wake up, or DD being desperate to read DS a story etc. This morning she gave him a picture that said "to [DS] this piccher is for you I love you so much I cod maby berst" and even though I've had two for 4 years now it still surprises me how much these little things means to me, because it is what I imagined and wished for when we agreed to try and have more than one child. I'm not saying non-onlies wouldn't feel so strongly BTW just that I find it very 'new' because I have no experience of a sibling bond IYSWIM?

And on the flip side any issues around sibling rivalry, sharing (or not) etc, I am because I again have no experience of it. So when they fight I still have very little clue what to do

Anyone else? :)

Hi fuzzpig, mine are younger than yours but I hope they will have a close relationship like yours (how sweet is that note?)

Although it's a long way in the future for me I am already worrying about what you do/how to cope with falling outs. I agree that not having any experience of the sibling thing makes it all feel a bit more daunting. DH doesn't seem to be worried about that aspect in the same way (he's got siblings, but I find their relationships difficult to understand too.)

I agree with you. I have three and when I see how much they all love each other and how much joy they get from playing together I admit (although it sounds twisted) to feeling slightly envious that I didn't have those same experiences. When they fight I tend to leave them to sort out their own battles - seems the more either myself or DH get involved the worse they fight! It is odd to look at what you have created and not be able to connect back what you see with your own experiences.

I am an only and have sons. They are now adult, but see each other regularly and I hope, and believe, they will always be there for each other. I have several bil and sil and am very envious of DH's close relationship with them and their shared past memories. I too used to look at my own boys playing (and yes, bickering like mad) and I wished I had had the same experiences.

Dd is 8 and ds is 6. I love the way my two always have someone to share exciting times with, like waking up and finding father Christmas has been!

I'm an only, and have just inflicted a sister on my nearly 3 year old DS :o
It already makes me happy when he says "where's my baby sister"... I await more lovely bonding

My DH is an only child, I am one of three so can't really identify but that note your DD wrote was sooo cute!

My DS1 is 6 and the other day he wrote a little card for DS2 that said 'I love you DS2, from DS1' and just that made me melt!

One thing I have noticed with my DH is that he is completely baffled and quite hurt/ upset when DS1 does say bad things about DS2. Even little things like 'He is annoying me.' DH is really confused and thinks it's terrible to think things like that about your brother because he has no idea what it's like to have one. He seems to think they should get on and adore each other all the time whereas I think I am a bit more realistic. I can remember that my brother and sister used to totally piss me off when I was little even though I was the youngest!

I don't sweat the fact that they will sometimes say things that aren't particularly nice. I think it's important that they can say those things and get it off their chest but I won't tolerate any violence or fighting.

For me it's OK for DS1 to find DS2 annoying because truthfully, toddlers are bloody annoying. I do always remind him that my brother and sister used to find me annoying and we used to say nasty things about each other but now we are very close so it's important to remember that whilst you may not like him this minute, you do still love him. DH is way out of his depth with that I think. He thinks they should be hugging ad kissing every minute!

Some of the happiest memories of my childhood are Christmases and holidays, how we fed off each other's excitement and were bouncing off each other. I love that my 2 will have that because the descriptions of DH's Christmases spent at the pub with his parents seem terribly lonely and miserable to me!

I'm an only. I'm happy with being an only. Loved my childhood. Everything about it was perfect.

But now I have four children and the way they bond and just ARE together makes me so happy. They bicker and argue sometimes but the way they love each other in that kind of special sibling way is really amazing to see.

I get lost. Sibling rivalry (especially with my DTDs) is just a bit because I don't really GET anything about it. When they argue for the sake of arguing with each other, and so on. It's so different to eveyrthing I ever grew up with!