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Parenting

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Original poster

have we created a rod by doing this dream feed thing???

15 replies

billiejo · 05/07/2006 14:17

hello, my ds2 is 6 1/2 months and we've been giving him a dream feed at midnight, every night since he was born. we carried on doing it even though i suspected he didn't need it (he was sleeping through till 7-7.30 evry night) mostly because he has very bad reflux and at that feed he takes 6-7 oz and is hardly ever sick. any how, he's now started waking up anywhere between 11.30 and 12 for that feed and i think we maight have "programmed it into him" Does anyone have any similar experience or suggestions. (he's also now waking up at 6.30am , so things have really been regressing)

thanks muchly, billiejo

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utterlyconfused · 05/07/2006 14:19

Have you tried leaving him to settle back down again, or is he really screaming for the feed? I don't thing you've done anything wrong. Don't worry about that.

HappyMumof2 · 05/07/2006 14:20

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 05/07/2006 14:22

you could just go in and cuddle, no eye contact. that way he is reassured you are there, everything is ok, but he is not getting a feed.

if he still cries when you put him down, stay in the room, no eye contact or shushing

he will eventually realise he is not getting a feed. or do you kind of think he still needs one?

and waking early at this age is kind of normal, there have been loads of threads about baby's sudden waking at 5 am at the 5-7 mth stage

it does pass, in my cases it only lasted 2 months at most

hth

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Original poster

billiejo · 05/07/2006 14:25

hi utterlyconfused and happymumof2, i don't think he'd re-settle tbh cause it's an escalating kind of cry. do you think watering my milk down would work then? don't know how much of this is hunger and how much is habit. me thinks it maybe mostly habit.

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utterlyconfused · 05/07/2006 14:27

The other thing is, maybe you can take advantage of the ealier waking by rescheduling his feeding. I found that there were points with all my 3 when i asked myself "what do I do now" because I wanted to drop a feed / insert a solid meal / whatever. Perhaps you have got to that stage - is he having a solid b/fast? If so, you could give him a bottle at 6.30, then his b/fast later, whenever suits you, and when he'll have more space for it. I just think that sometimes these changes are a natural cue for you to make some adjustments that are going to come about sometime anyway. That doesn't help with the nighttime thing though, although i suspect if you left him he'd drop back off.

Original poster

billiejo · 05/07/2006 14:27

thanks nailpolish, would love to think the early waking might be just a phase??!! the thing is when you go in to pick him up he screams even louder.

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utterlyconfused · 05/07/2006 14:29

sorry, posts crossed.
Why don't you try reducing the amount? Take it down to 4 oz then 3. You'll tell soon enough whether he's hungry.
I think, though, that you should def not feed him 'til he asks for it, and just go with it as long as he does. Little monkey!
Is he on solids? Maybe he needs more?

nailpolish · 05/07/2006 14:32

dont pick him up

just re-position, tuck bedcovers in, stroke forehead and then sit beside the cot. no eye contact.

move further away each night, towards the door

it is the hardest thing to do, my dh was very strong and he did this, the message will get through quickly, your baby is clever

if you would like to, give ds a little drink of water, dont bother watering milk down

dont feel bad about it all, if you stay in the room like i say you are reassuring him that you are there, nothing is wrong, you are not abandoning him

hth

Original poster

billiejo · 05/07/2006 14:33

yes uc, he's on three solid meals a day too! we were pretty strict on ds1 and always allowed him to re-settle himself and, as such, he's a really brilliant sleeper, but because ds2 has had a rough time with his reflux i feel too sorry for him when he cries out.

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Original poster

billiejo · 05/07/2006 14:35

thanks nailpolish, that sounds like good advice!!

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Kelly1978 · 05/07/2006 14:36

mine are sitll having one at 15 months Take np's advice, and good luck with it!

nailpolish · 05/07/2006 14:38

you COULD try pick up put down, but that is knackering for you, you may end up doing it dozens and dozens of times

nailpolish · 05/07/2006 14:39

but it does work

fruitful · 05/07/2006 21:05

Ds was quite difficult, sleep-wise, at around this age. It might be worth going with the flow for a bit to see if he grows out of it. (Depends how energetic you're feeling).

Also, you could make sure the dream feed is at a time to suit you - ie go in and wake him just before you want to go to bed, and feed him then.

kitbit · 06/07/2006 02:48

ds is 20 mths and we stopped the dreamfeed for a bit but then he would wake at about 4am so ew reintroduced it about a month ago just to see...and now he doesn't wake at 4 any more. I know I'd rather be giving him a drink when I'm just going to bed myself than haul myself upright at 4am to sort it out! But now am gradually giving him more watered down milk each night eventually to get him to water only. It's scorching hot here at the moment and will be until Sept/Oct so actually I'm quite happy he's taking on extra liquid at every opportunity.

er, don't think I helped! Only to say maybe view it in the bigger picture and see if it still fits?

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